Yalla: Physical disability is no block to meaning!
Earlier this week, I used the theme “Yalla” to express my determination to keep moving forward despite an increasingly debilitating medical condition. I’m not someone who seeks attention, and I genuinely dislike being complimented. But over the past few years—and especially in recent months—I’ve found myself writing more boldly and openly across many fronts. “Yalla,” as we say here.
Since October 7, 2023, I’ve become an active blogger on Israel advocacy, both here and on LinkedIn. To my surprise, my posts have received over 5 million impressions. I’ve written about Jewish identity, faith, humor from my career (now retired), and my personal journey with Progressive Supranuclear Palsy (PSP)—a terminal neurodegenerative disease I was recently diagnosed with.
As my physical abilities to have narrowed—first giving up driving due to vision issues, then retiring from my career at 50 on doctors orders, stopping air travel, and now struggling to walk even short distances with a walker—I’ve redirected my energy into writing (and chess). It wasn’t a conscious decision, but it’s become a lifeline. I’m naturally driven and stubborn, and I’ve taken inspiration from Viktor Frankl, who wrote:
When we are no longer able to change a situation – we are challenged to change ourselves.
Writing has become my way of changing myself—and of continuing to contribute meaningfully to the world.
I am many things: a husband, father, brother, son, friend, community member, Jew, Israeli, global citizen—and simply myself. Illness does not make a person useless, much to my pleasant surprise. I whatsapp nearly daily with someone far more seriously ill than I am, confined to a wheelchair for years, and yet he continues to inspire me. I don’t know how long my cognition will last, but I am grateful for every moment. My long career, which culminated in serving as Head of Consulting for one of the Big 4 firms in Israel, gave me tools I now use in a different way—through words.
This blog isn’t just for me. It’s for anyone who struggles with physical or mental conditions. I’ve learned that while we may lose the ability to contribute in the ways we once did, we often discover new ways to give back. It may sound strange, but I wouldn’t trade places with anyone. I’ve lost one life, but gained another—different, yes, but filled with meaning. I’ve found that I can reach people more deeply than I ever did before. In many ways I am more productive than I have ever been, just in a completely different way..
It wasn’t just my medical condition. Although I was blogging on my health, October 7 was a turning point. One of my children was fighting in Be’eri and Nahal Oz that day, where five of his Special Forces unit fell. I couldn’t fight physically, but I could fight with words. Ironically, the skill I once saw as a disadvantage when I made Aliyah—my poor Hebrew but strong English—has become my greatest asset in this battle.
I’m not trying to praise myself. I shy away from that. But again, Viktor Frankl reminds us:
“If there is a meaning in life at all, then there must be a meaning in suffering.”
The Lubavitcher Rebbe echoed this with the idea of “descent for the purpose of ascent.” The decline in physical and cognitive capabilities as we age is, we hope and pray, part of a spiritual ascent to the World to Come.
For now, I fight day by day against PSP. Life isn’t easy—it’s a tough battle, and I have bad days. But my stubbornness and intensity compel me to keep trying to give. I know it may feel to some like I’m bombarding them, but I hope you understand.
Yalla!
