Moshe-Mordechai van Zuiden
Psychology, Medicine, Science, Politics, Oppression, Integrity, Philosophy, Jews

Yearly World Mental Health Day: Homosexuals

Shabbat, 10.10.2020 was World Mental Health Awareness Day.

It is getting better and it will get better still

I have written so many blog post crying shame on you to all the religious fanatics who, holier than thou, are plain hateful to non-heterosexuals. And on those who are indifferent, which is the greatest form of hatred.

But enough already! It feels like a voice crying in the wilderness. Let us turn our attention to those who need and deserve extra support. Who did nothing wrong. Who so often are ignored, hated, stigmatized, attacked, ostracized, isolated, pressured to take ‘therapy’ to be brainwashed and ‘cured,’ and blamed for simply being who they are and what they need. (Make no mistake–if they would be celibate, they are hated no less).

It is nice that you are born with more empathy than the average person. (And on average, women have more empathy than men. So, just imagine how much empathy lesbians have!) It’s nice. But direct a little bit more of your mildness toward yourself. More often, thank yourself for surviving.

And when you’re at it, redirect a little of your anger and irritation toward the real enemy, the leaders and followers of callousness and intolerance.

The oppressors are losing popularity. They lost the majority (in Israel and the US and many other countries). But this has only emboldened them into assuming that they are the moral, religious elite. The rabbis who position themselves as bulwarks against modernity and assimilation but who are the epitome of them, talking like modern evangelical hatemongers. And they can do so because gays and their allies are too often too nice.

The change in popular opinion came through your obvious charm and goodness. In the end, most families embrace their non-straight children.

But the state oppression will only end when you and your allies end being so sweet and meek, a few times. The oppression will only lessen when you finally will rise up and cry foul in large enough numbers. I am not blaming the victim. But I am saying that the biggest force of the oppressors is the oppressed and their allies tolerating the oppressors’ claims to superiority.

Please remember that the only thing that is seriously wrong with you is the assumption that there is something seriously wrong with you.

Think of the situation under White slavery. Some slaves would rebel, especially when young. So would some White allies. But the vast majority had no awareness of the injustice, wickedness, or power to resist. But their day would come. So, in your case. One day, the whole world will bend their heads and say: How was this at all possible? How could we?

Meanwhile, stay away from ‘healers’ who love you so much that they want to heal you. That is not love. Stay away from cigarettes and alcohol. You are forced to meet in bars to make you addicted, relaxed, and die early. Resist. Resist the urge to squander your need for intimacy on anonymous sex. You deserve a relationship with real intimacy, a home, and safety.

Things are not always going so well. You might feel worse before it gets better. This Yom Kippur afternoon, again, Leviticus 18:22 was read around the world without a caveat that the Injunction only applies to heterosexual men. Shamelessly, the New York Yeshiva University has just rejected a gathering place for LGBTQ. And two US High Court justices have just threatened to overthrow Gay Marriage (‘marriage equality’). I know.

Keeps us on our toes. But, don’t lose track of the good stuff happening.

Gay activists have just flooded the racist #ProudBoys hashtag so that the racist hateful voices are drowned out by voices of (gay) love! A US court just now, ruled for parental equality, after a lengthy legal battle. So far, at least 574 openly LGBT+ candidates for being lawmakers appear on the ballot for the November 3 US elections. Loud voices compare labeling homosexuals in Poland as less than human with how Jews were talked about before WW II. Just recently, the World Zionist Organization opened an LGBTQAI+ department assisting non-straight, non-cis new immigrants.

It will get better. Never give up. Hang in there so that you may live and be part of the celebrations. Not only the celebrations of human liberation and dignity. The celebrations of you. Try to be there. It gets better. I promise.

About the Author
MM is a prolific and creative writer and thinker, a daily blog contributor to the TOI. He is a fetal survivor of the pharmaceutical industry (, born in 1953 to two Dutch survivors who met in the largest concentration camp in the Netherlands, Westerbork, and holds a BA in medicine (University of Amsterdam). He taught Re-evaluation Co-counseling, became a social activist, became religious, made Aliyah, and raised three wonderful kids. He wrote an unpublished tome about Jewish Free Will. He's a strict vegan since 2008. He's an Orthodox Jew but not a rabbi. * His most influential teachers (chronologically) are: his parents, Nico (natan) van Zuiden and Betty (beisye) Nieweg, Wim Kan, Mozart, Harvey Jackins, Marshal Rosenberg, Reb Shlomo Carlebach, and, lehavdil bein chayim lechayim: Rabbi Dr. Natan Lopes Cardozo, Rav Zev Leff, and Rav Meir Lubin. * Previously, for decades, he was known to the Jerusalem Post readers as a frequent letter writer. For a couple of years, he wrote hasbara for the Dutch public. His fields of attention now are varied: Psychology (including Sexuality and Abuse), Medicine (including physical immortality), Science (statistics), Politics (Israel, the US and the Netherlands, Activism - more than leftwing or rightwing, he hopes to highlight Truth), Oppression and Liberation (intersectionally, for young people, the elderly, non-Whites, women, workers, Jews, LGBTQIA, foreigners and anyone else who's dehumanized or exploited), Integrity, Philosophy, Jews (Judaism, Zionism, Holocaust and Jewish Liberation), Ecology and Veganism. Sometimes he's misunderstood because he has such a wide vision that never fits any specialist's box. But that's exactly what many love about him. Many of his posts relate to affairs from the news or the Torah Portion of the Week or are new insights that suddenly befell him. * He hopes that his words will inspire and inform, reassure the doubters but make the self-assured doubt more. He strives to bring a fresh perspective rather than bore you with the obvious. He doesn't expect his readers to agree. Rather, original minds must be disputed. In short, his main political positions are: anti-Trumpism, for Zionism, Intersectionality, non-violence, democracy, anti the fake peace process, for original-Orthodoxy, Science, Free Will, anti blaming-the-victim and for down-to-earth optimism. Read his blog how he attempts to bridge any discrepancies. He admits sometimes exaggerating to make a point, which could have him come across as nasty, while in actuality, he's quite a lovely person to interact with. He holds - how Dutch - that a strong opinion doesn't imply intolerance of other views. * His writing has been made possible by an allowance for second-generation Holocaust survivors from the Netherlands. It has been his dream since he was 38 to try to make a difference by teaching through writing. He had three times 9-out-of-10 for Dutch at his high school finals but is spending his days communicating in English and Hebrew - how ironic. G-d must have a fine sense of humor. In case you wonder - yes, he is a bit dyslectic. November 13, 2018, he published his 500th blog post with the ToI. If you're a native English speaker and wonder why you should read from people whose English is only their second language, consider the advantage of having a peek outside of your cultural bubble. * NEW: To see other blog posts by him, his overspill blog you can reach by clicking on the Website icon next to his picture at the head of every post. There you may find precursors to later TOI blog posts, addition or corrections of published TOI blog posts, blog posts the TOI will not carry, and some thoughts that are too short to be a TOI blog post. Also, the TOI only allows for one blog post per blogger per 24 hours. Sometimes, he has more to say than that. * To send any personal reaction to him, scroll to the top of the blog post and click Contact Me.
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