Doug Klein

Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup–Day 10

The final day of competition in Groups A and B has arrived.  And what a day it should be.

But first, let’s review Day 9’s high-scoring action.

In the contest of favored Cameroon and pareve Serbia, the Serbian Eagles went down a goal, then scored three.  In Indomitable Lions then roared (obviously) back and tallied two goals in three minutes to tie the match, 3-3

For its part, the Black Stars of Ghana jumped out to a two goal lead.  The South Koreans fought back with their own two goals in three minutes.  The Ghanians struck back a short while later to seal the match, 3-2.

The barely-favored (by the Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup (ZGWC)) Brazilians knocked off the Swiss, 1-nil.  In the final game of the day, the endorsed Uruguayan side dropped a competitive match against powerful Portugal, 2-0.

In Group A, two endorsed teams–Ecuador and Senegal–face off in one match, and favored Netherlands takes on host Qatar.  Most likely, the Netherlands and the winner of Ecuador v. Senegal will be moving onto the knockout rounds.  A draw in the latter match will likely send Ecuador through.  The ZGWC endorsed Netherlands, Ecuador, and Senegal, so this is all very satisfying.  The feeling of satisfaction is magnified by the fact that Qatar–even if the managed a result against the Dutch–are out of the competition.  Good riddance.

In Group B, the most important match is the USA versus Iran.  There are reports in the press (CNN, Sports Illustrated, Daily Mail) that Iranian authorities have threatened the members of the Iranian team that their families will be arrested and tortured if they express any anti-regime sentiments.  There is no limit to Iranian hypocrisy and mendacity as they have security preventing their team from interacting with any outsiders and have hired actors to cheer on the team in the stands.  While one must sympathize with the Iranian players as individuals, they are representing a risible regime whose days are hopefully numbered.  The mullahs will, no doubt, seek to promote their reign should Team Melli progress to the knockout rounds.  According, for the ZGWC, it is USA.  All day long.

If anyone bothers to watch the Wales v. England match, the Welsh–even in the absence of Rabbi Matondo–are endorsed over the Three Lions.

About the Author
Doug Klein is an attorney in Chicago and the wrestling coach at Ida Crown Jewish Academy.
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