At a makeup store I stand hunched over a collection of pencils in search of a new eyeliner for the upcoming holiday season. I straighten up for a moment, I’ve been leaning over for too long; I need to stretch to regain my posture and restore my circulation.
Looking around, I notice something odd. At first I think it is just a hallucination, but then I realize that I am in fact standing in between two men, like me, huddled over a collection of beauty products, carefully examining the different choices and trying to determine which best suit their needs.
Listen, I’m not judging. If a man wants to wear makeup, that’s totally cool. It just hasn’t happened before that I stood in between two (heterosexual) men in a makeup store and so I find it quite amusing.
On my left stands a man, in his late forties I presume, yarmulke adorned, with his teenage daughter. He rummages through the assortment of nail polishes displayed.
“Is this color good?” He turns to ask his daughter who is flipping through a catalog, clearly uninterested in her father’s nail polish spree. They discuss the different shades, nix the ones with sparkles, and contemplate the benefits of buying name-brand.
On my right a man is busily rummaging through the supply of blush brushes, picking up the different ones to analyze size and softness. Then a saleswoman approaches to demonstrate the different uses for each brush.
Weirded out by the thought of applying blush onto facial hair, I turn to my left again. I hear nail polish man say to his daughter, “Oh look, they have samples, let me try this one on.”
I turn to my right again and overhear the boyish blush-brush buyer explain to the woman that he isn’t actually going to use the brush to apply makeup, but to clean the dashboard of his car for Pesach.
Back on my left I watch the man pull a floor tile (!) out of his bag and start applying nail polish to its surface. “This color will cover up the stain on our kitchen floor and it blends in perfectly.”
Oh Pesach… The bleach fumes really do get to some people’s heads.