11 Resilience Tools from Holocaust Survivor and Psychologist Dr. Edith Eger

Eleven life-changing resilience tools that I learned first hand from Holocaust survivor and trauma psychologist Dr. Edith Eger. Timeless lessons that can help us cope with trauma, grief, and this collective crisis.

Dr. Edith Eva Eger, a 97-year-old Holocaust survivor and renowned trauma psychologist, barely survived Auschwitz. Against all odds, she went on to guide millions in healing from unimaginable pain. Her New York Times bestselling memoir, The Choice, has inspired countless people — and today, its lessons feel more urgent than ever.

In the summer of 2023, I was blessed with the opportunity to spend two afternoons with Dr. Eger in her Southern California home. At the time, I had no idea just how profoundly relevant her teachings would soon become. 

Only two months later, back home in Israel, we faced the deadliest attack on the Jewish people since the Holocaust.

Since then, Dr. Eger’s wisdom has helped me endure, grieve, and begin to heal — and now, I share it with you.

I write these words as a Jewish woman and mother living in Israel, witnessing firsthand the horrors of war: the murder of neighbors’ children, an agonizing hostage crisis, and the heavy weight of our ongoing collective trauma.

I am a civilian. My eldest daughter serves in the IDF, albeit in a non-combat role. I make no claim to fully understand what you — or anyone — may be experiencing. As Dr. Eger teaches, no one can fully understand another person’s suffering.

Each of us carries our own grief. These tools are not universal answers, but offerings. Take what resonates, leave what doesn’t, and may you find support, strength, and hope — in your own way.

1. Expression Is the Opposite of Depression

Dr. Eger teaches that what remains unexpressed is what makes us unwell. Emotions need to be felt and expressed, not buried within.

This could look like:

• Punching a punching bag, pillow, or doing martial arts
• Writing a letter (even if you never send it)
• Speaking your truth in a safe space
• Crying deeply on your own or with others

Expressing difficult emotions is not a weakness — it is a path to healing.

2. Find Moments of Humor

Even in Auschwitz, young Edie found ways to make the women in her barrack laugh, going so far as to organize a “boob contest” to bring light into the darkest of places.

Humor and joy are not betrayals of our collective grief — they are essential for our survival. Give yourself permission to laugh without guilt. Laughter can be an incredible form of therapy.

3. You Are Not a Victim

Dr. Eger reminds us: you may have been victimized, but you are not a victim. Healing and hope are always possible.

To be a victim is to be powerless. While we have been victimized horribly as a nation, even amid so much unspeakable suffering, we have the capacity to reclaim our strength and move forward with power.

4. “How Are You?” Is Not Just Small Talk

When we ask someone else how they’re doing, let’s be ready to listen.

Empathy is the foundation of connection. Empathy is built through listening with presence, compassion, and attention. This helps other people feel seen, heard, and valued — and can be profoundly healing.

Rather than listening to reply, we can focus our energies on simply listening to remember. This technique has been validated by research as one that creates immense empathy and connection.

5. The Power of Silence

While sitting with Dr. Eger, I experienced how silence itself can be a language. 

Yes, we laughed, and joked. But through the serious moments of our conversation, there was a deep and powerful silence between us.

In the wake of tragedy, words may fail to communicate the depths of our grief.

Silence — sitting beside someone without rushing to fill the space — can be an act of deep connection and love.

6. Think of Others

Dr. Eger tells how, after being forced to dance for Mengele and his Nazis, she was ‘rewarded’ with extra bread. Instead of keeping it for herself, she shared it with her sister Magda and the other women, knowing they were often hungrier than she.

 Later, these same women carried her at the end of a grueling death march, raising her up on a bed with their arms, and literally saving her life.

Acts of lovingkindness have ripple effects into eternity.

7. Keep Your Eye on the North Star

Young Edie survived by holding on to hope — imagining the future she longed for. She imagined reuniting with her boyfriend, Eric. She envisioned his beautiful eyes and strong hands. 

While this reunion never came to be – the hope of reuniting with Eric encouraged Edie to survive, day after day.

Dr. Eger teaches us to identify our own North Star — a vision, a purpose, a person, or a future — and to keep it alive even in the hardest moments.

Lean into that vision – what it looks like, what you’ll be doing, and how you will feel. Embody those feelings today, and hold on to hope that you’re moving toward that Star, step by step, every day.

8. Draw from Your Inner Wisdom

One of the most surprising moments of our time together was when I asked Dr. Eger about imposter syndrome. Over the years I’ve struggled with it myself, and I’ve also learned that most people do – especially high achievers. 

Her response was ironic and memorable beyond belief! She looked me straight in the eye and with crystal clarity replied, “You be me, Azi, and I’ll be you. What will you tell me?”

She reminded me brilliantly that wisdom is already within us. Even if we feel unqualified, we carry the strength and knowledge we need.

9. Seek Professional Help if Needed

Dr. Eger herself sought therapy in her 50s, dealing with imposter syndrome as a newly initiated psychologist. She spent time in sessions working through her past, and she also learned therapeutic tools to put into practice on her own.

Seeking help is not a sign of weakness — it is an act of courage.

As someone who has worked with many therapists, I encourage you to find one who respects you, listens deeply, and believes in your ability to heal and ultimately thrive.

10. Forgive Yourself

Upon arriving to Auschwitz, Edie unknowingly answered a question from Mengele that led to her mother’s death.  Her only crime was answering him honestly when he asked – “Is this your sister or is this your mother?” 

For years, she carried guilt until she learned to forgive herself — which ultimately set her free.

We are all human. We make mistakes. We do things unknowingly that have unforeseen consequences. Forgiving ourselves is essential if we want to heal and live fully.

11. The Power of Visualization

Before entering Auschwitz, Edie’s mother whispered to her in the cattle car:

“I don’t know where we’re going. We don’t know what’s going to happen.

Just remember, no one can take from you what you put in your own mind.”

Even when we cannot control our circumstances, we can choose where to place our thoughts — in faith, hope, and possibility.

We can explore new thoughts, new visions, and use the power of our mind to guide us to our North Star in every moment. 

We are living through heartbreak and trauma. Please take what is helpful from Dr. Eger’s wisdom. There is no one right way to cope — but there is always hope for healing.