15 years later…I remember

Fifteen years ago today I stared death in the face and was spared. 15 years ago tonight since that fateful night so many years ago that Gd showed me the angel of death and pointed me in the other direction. There are so many flashbacks I have of that night. Vivid memories. Some I wish I could forget. Many that I hate to remember. The sounds of silence the moment after the two terrorist blew themselves up.

It’s like the moment that a glass vase shatters on the floor and you stare in shock before snapping into action. The silence the sound of absence and a void the calm during the storm. I don’t remember what I heard first or if the heat of the gas oven pouring flames out was what first startled me into action. I just remember thinking I’m alive. Yet again within five minutes a third explosion went off in the exact location I had been standing 10 seconds earlier. And again I looked around in those moments and thought. I’m alive. I spent the entire night up in my dorm room rehashing the evening. Steps I took that meant the difference between life and death. That night Gd choose life. I was just a pawn. Since that night 15 years ago I have tried to continue my life in that way.

For those who have made it their mission to choose death, support terror and destruction, I pity you. You will never understand the value of life. The greatness of moving forward, holding onto something meaningful. The beauty of change and growth with hard work and dedication. Unfortunately you do not see life as something to hold onto and clutch with all your might. You have treated life as worthless and disposable. I truly pity your empty plate where the only thing that is important is an instant gratification that last for the one second before your complete self destruction. You have one moment of your own percieved glory. I, on the other hand have a life time of precious moments. A collection of memories like a treasured quilt that I will continue to collect and hold close.

So last night as my dear friend went into labor and I went to cuddle with her toddler and mine I realized how appropriate this place was to be. 15 years later… I’m up all night once again. Surrounded by life, clutching life, celebrating life.

#standwithisrael #strengthtoStrength #victimofterror

About the Author
Nechama Gutman was raised in South Florida. She traveled to Israel at the age of 17 where she fell in love with the land. Upon returning to the states she spent several years helping people make Aliyah. Nechama is a mother, wife, a survivor of a terrorist attack and person who wants to bring light into the world.
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