5 Amazing Facts about Israelis.. that the World Doesn’t Know

Hi. My name is Eran Katz. During the past month I have discovered on the news that I, as an Israeli, have this habit of killing innocent children and babies. 
I tried really hard to recall when was the last time I killed an innocent child, or even a non-innocent child (you know…the kind that asks annoying questions … or something like that). 
I honestly couldn’t remember.
Years ago, as a Jew, the world accused me of eating children with Matzo balls. That’s not true either. I hate Matzo balls. I prefer rice or mashed potatoes.
We don’t eat children, not because some of us are vegetarian (I’m not) but because we eat normal healthy food such as McDonald’s, Snickers, M&M’s etc’.
Neither do Israelis kill children for fun. Many Israelis mate voluntarily and have children of their own ( I mean, they don’t force seven year old Yemenite girls to marry them like the local custom in the Middle East).
Children have playgrounds in Israel, the kind with slides going down, not upward launch pads for rockets.
Israelis love their children… even during school break.

Here are some more amazing facts:

1. Israelis are very friendly.
If you show them love and affection they will play with you, love you back and become your best friend.
If you fire rockets at them, they get upset. Rockets can really hurt. They might attack back.

2. Israelis can actually talk.
They are capable of verbal communication. If Hamas would try talking to them, they would answer politely.

3. Israelis appreciate life and peace.
After 3000 years of persecution by narrow minded racists they would love to have a peaceful and quiet relationship with their neighbors.

4. Israelis live in Israel.
Hamas claims that Israel doesn’t exist. Well, It’s true that Israel is REALLY small… but not THAT small.
If you stand at a fair distance you can actually see an Israeli. They actually DO exist! And they plan on continuing to exist.

5. Israelis don’t believe in miracles and fairy tales.
They create the miracles themselves. They took a nomad desert and turned it into a prosperous, technologically advanced, life loving, fun country.
They are still hoping for their neighbors to choose that option of peace and prosperity also.