Derek Saker
Co-founder and CEO of

Success When Women Take The Driving Seat!

Many in our Jewish world refer to the increasing challenges faced by singles as a ‘crisis.’ As such, you might think there is a need for ambulatory type intervention.

Recently a new organization Ezras Nashim was launched in Brooklyn, New York that provides female-only emergency services similar to Hatzalah. It has been a bold-step by these brave and very professional women who are driven not by feminism, but a passionate desire to help others, and early on realized they would have to modestly step outside of the box and break barriers – to realize their dreams.

So to in the world of Jewish online dating for marriage.

In the traditional world of offline Jewish dating, it is by and large the woman that plays second fiddle. She must await for someone else to make a recommendation or suggest an introduction.

And even in those rare occurrences of social interaction, (in a modest environment) a woman for many understandable reasons, will not typically walk up to a potential suitor, and introduce herself.

Welcome to the transformational world of

When we purchased in 2003, what surprised us then was that a very significant majority of women members were from a Bais Yaakov type background, who at age 25, and not married, had nowhere else to turn.

These were women who were not necessarily extroverts, or natural initiators of conversation with the opposite sex. On the contrary, they were modest religious young women who had little social interaction with men at all.

But B”H many found and find success on

Today with almost 2,500 married,  70% of these marriages resulted from female initiated communication.

That is not to say these ladies throws themselves with words of romantic poetry, or an innate love for all things cooking and kitchens.  Rather they take the time to reflect upon one another’s online profiles and reflect the possibility that they may have values and outlooks in common.

So Why Do Women Initiate?

Within a secure and anonymous environment of female members feel they have not only nothing to lose, but everything to gain by taking the initiative.

Most importantly, most female members know acutely what they themselves are looking for and as such, given the enabling environment of – they take the driving seat!

And How Do Single Men Feel Who Are Recipients of Initial Contact?

In a recent survey we did with the now-married men from, almost all expressed the initiated contact as a welcome surprise, and one that in their mind, did not infer that the woman must be ‘desperate.’

On the contrary, these men admired the determination and tenacity of what would become – their future wives!

Just One Success: Judith and Hilton

Take just one example of so many – Judith and Hilton.

Judith decided to sign up and give the online world a try.

As she explains “Hilton twice visited my profile but failed to contact me. I liked his profile and was curious why he wasn’t writing. So brave as I was, I wrote him a message and from there on it was like a travel through space with light speed engines!

We appreciate every day the blessing Hashem gave us of bringing our souls together. May our story inspire everyone searching for his or her Bashert in life. No continent is too far, no situation is too difficult – Hashem will find His way! “

See their picture and full story by clicking here.

And remember, if anyone still believes women are bad drivers – just refer them to and Ezras Nashim!

About the Author's Derek Saker, is an internationalist having lived and worked in South Africa, England, the U.S. and Israel. Most importantly he speaks fluent Afrikaans. He moved from New York to London, England in 2019 for the weather and because his wife is English. He is co-founder and CEO of Frumster/JWed the most successful online Jewish dating for marriage service. Between 2007 and 2019, he was privileged to serve as Director of Communications at Ohel Children's Home and Family Services - the largest Jewish social service agency outside Israel. Derek is an Advisory Board Member of the National Jewish Assembly. (NJA)