A Cosmic Coincidence

A chance meeting. Thinking about someone you haven’t seen for a long time and then getting a phone call from her that very same day. Such experiences can stop us in our tracks, as we wonder if it was more than a coincidence. Recently, I had such an experience.

When I was setting up for Passover this year, I did what I always do: I put up two tables and set them with place settings for our 20+ guests. Each holiday, I use our service of 12 “good” dishes and silverware.

For the remaining place settings, I put out my Mom and Dad’s “good” dishes and silverware, which they used throughout my childhood.

Then I arrange the seating — always a challenge. I tend to place kids and their parents at the second table, and those we want to show extra kavod (respect) to, at the first table. Such is the case with Marilyn and Carlos, my machatunim (my younger son’s in-laws).

I usually put our dishes and silverware on the first table; the guests at the second table get my parents.’ This year, I decided to move a few people around, putting my machatunim at the second table to be nearer to their daughter and grandkids. As a result, for the first time in the 10 years they have been with us for the holidays, Marilyn and Carlos had my parents’ place settings.

Now let’s go back in time for a moment; I promise my detour down another story path will converge with this year’s Passover. In my youth, Lake George, N.Y., was a favorite family destination for summer vacations. My parents returned many times for the scenery and the boat cruise on the Ticonderoga, which they loved.

So, it was a pleasant coincidence when, six years ago, Marilyn mentioned to me she was taking her visiting family from Florida and local family members to Lake George for a few days. While in Lake George, they toured the same forts we had seen years before. They even took a cruise on the same ship we loved.

When it was time to drive home, Marilyn planned to stop at an antique store a friend had mentioned to her. Since antiquing is a passion of hers, this was no surprise. Walking through the shop, Marilyn was drawn to a large wooden chest lined with felt, which contained an old set of just- a-bit-tarnished silverware. It was a full service for 12.

She remarked to her niece how much she LOVED the pattern, a rather modern one, which was atypical of Marilyn’s taste. Her niece questioned,  “At this stage of life, why do you need this old silverware?” Marilyn quickly responded: “When we have 30+ people for Thanksgiving and Christmas, I use disposable plates, but I prefer to use real silverware.” So, she bought the whole set.

Back to this year’s Passover. As always, we all enjoyed our family seders together. One week later, we went to Marilyn’s house for Easter. It was a lovely time, but we felt a bit sad because their house looked kind of empty. That is because they are moving out and relocating. With their usual generosity, they invited family and friends to take whatever furniture, kitchen items, etc. they were not taking to their new place. So many of their belongings were already given away.

It is my role when I join their family for various occasions to make desserts. Even during COVID 19 when we skipped a few family get-togethers for health concerns, I would always send the desserts. One of their favorites is my chocolate mousse.

So, when it was time, I helped arrange the dessert table and put out the mousse. I went to find a serving spoon in the kitchen and much to my surprise, two spoons from my mother’s silverware set were staring back at me. I had no memory of ever sending spoons along with my mousse. Why would I? I couldn’t imagine how they worked their way into Marilyn’s house. Yet, knowing her family was taking things for their own homes, I took the two spoons, put them in a baggie and planned to tell Marilyn why I had taken them.

In the meantime, as she always does, Marilyn poured a cup of coffee for the two of us, and we sat in the window seat talking about their impending move. At one point, she said, “Debra, come to the dining room; I have something to show you.” She then opened a drawer and there sat 10 spoons and 4 serving pieces from my mother’s set. Or were they? I was mystified.

She then related the story of her trip to the antique store six years before. She described how she had been drawn to that set and loved the pattern. It was, in fact, the very same pattern stored in the familiar felt-lined wooden box that my parents had bought in 1958.

Marilyn told me she recognized the pattern at our seder and then put aside whatever pieces were left to give to me. She said she was sorry the rest of the set had already been given away. I stared at those pieces. I kept thinking if I had not moved their seats, they would never have noticed the pattern and that whole second set would have landed elsewhere. Then we never would have known about this cosmic coincidence that we both had possession of the same 1958 Rogers Flair silverplated silverware, one set from my parents, the other from a stranger.

As we ask during the seder, “What does this mean?” I wondered. Could this be a “hello” from my parents from the beyond? Think about it. Lake George. The boat cruise. Moving seats. A random trip to that particular antique store. Choosing the same silverware pattern 67 years apart? Was this b’shert (fated to happen)?

Believe what you will. I know what I believe. And now, our two families have this unique connection forever, as well as a few extra serving pieces and spoons to remind us to always cherish those we loved then and those we love now.