A Fly on the Wall—Kayne Visits Skechers (Satire)

Manhattan Beach, California

Skechers’ Corporate Headquarters

October 26, 2022

Secretary: Sir, Kayne West is in our outer office. He wants to see you. I told him that you do not take meetings with uninvited visitors. But he is insisting on seeing you. He’s acting kind of weird, like a man who has lost a whole bunch of money.

Skechers’ Executive: Okay, allow him to come in. But alert Security to be outside my door, in case they have to escort him out of the building.

Kayne: Thanks for seeing me. Since Addis dumped me, I’ve lost a billion dollars. What do I have to do to have your sneaker company sign me? We’ll each make a billion if we team up.

Skechers’ Executive: Kayne, first off, I don’t appreciate you showing up unannounced at my doorstep. Especially when you’re in deep do do because you ‘re spouting off anti-Semitic stuff like, death con 3 to JEWISH PEOPLE.

Why don’t you drop in on Puma or Nike or Keds or Reebok or Converse?

Kayne: Just tell me what I got to do. I’ll do anything to make that kind of money again.

Skechers’ Executive: Well, here are some ideas and if you fulfill all of them, we can meet again and then we’ll talk business.

First, your press agent has to issue a public apology to the Jewish people.

And in that apology you must make the following promises:

I promise to never utter another anti-Semitic phrase again.

So help me G-d.

I promise never to say or write or Tweet the words “Death” and “JEWISH PEOPLE in the same sentence.

I promise to make a substantial contribution to the Anti-Defamation League.

I promise to make a trip to the Holy Land and while there, I’ll visit the Western Wall and I’ll wear a yarmulke and I’ll pray, and I’ll write a note and I’ll stick that note into the crevices of the Wall.

And that note shall read:

“Lord, forgive me for my sins. Starting today I shall commence the process of repairing the world I live in and not hating other religions.”

Finally, you will visit Yad Vashem, tour the memorial and upon exiting the complex nod your head and proclaim, “Never Again!”

Kayne: Wow! That’s a whole lot of promises.

Skechers’ Executive: Miss Jones, please have Security come in and escort Mr. West out of the building. Thanks.

About the Author
Florida's Jewish short-story writer, speaker, film producer and retired attorney. He has authored, "A Hebraic Obsession", "The Hanukkah Bunny" and "The Greatest Gift." He produced an award-winning short film entitled, "The Stairs". Movie can be viewed on my TOI blog. ChatGPT says, Mort is known for his works that often explore themes of love, loss, and the human connection. Laitner has published several books , including “A Hebraic Obsession.” His writing style is characterized by its emotional depth and introspection. Laitner’s works have garnered praise for their heartfelt expression and keen insight into the human experience.
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