A guy named Thomas

Thomas and my husband met around 10 years ago, almost right after the army. They used to work as bartenders in a very fancy bar in the center of Jerusalem. My husband was saving money for his big trip after the army, Thomas was starting off his career. Life happened and they parted ways.

A few weeks ago my husband told me he was meeting this guy Thomas for a drink. He is actually Muslim, and from my understanding, Muslim people don’t drink, so I was confused. Thomas drinks. I was in shock – I have worked with Muslims before and they would not even drink a beer in our Yom Kef.

The day of the meeting I had an appointment nearby so we agreed I would stop by to say hi. I am always curious to meet people from my husband’s past. They chose a very trendy bar in the center. I got there first, I was sitting taking pictures of the place. Husband arrives, we catch up on our days and then Thomas gets here. He did not know I was coming, so it was funny to see him surprised.

We shake hands – I never know how to greet people in Israel. In Peru it is a kiss on the cheek most of the time, but here there are rules depending on how religious, how modern, how local, how international you are. Anyway, we introduced each other, he seemed very cool. His English is not as fluent as I expected and my Arabic is very limited. They go get a beer from the counter.

Thomas was on his day off on October 7th. When he got a call from work because “we are in a war, come stay in a safe place like ours”, he laughed and said “we are always at war”, but then he turned on the news and ran straight to his job. He got all the clients drunk, nothing better than some alcohol to numb you from your people dying and your world collapsing.

I don’t have many Muslim friends and that is sad. I hung out with a few back when I was doing my master but they were way younger than me, so we didn’t really connect. I used to work with a bunch of Muslims, but I switched jobs and work friends don’t always become life friends. There used to be a lot of Muslim workers in my building, they kind of vanished after October 7th. Killa (my dog) and I miss them, they were always looking after me and I was always trying to give them food/drinks like the latina mama I aim to be.

Thomas went to France recently, and like any single guy got an online app account to check out the market. Met Roxana and exchanged messages with her for a few days. He casually mentioned his Waze was acting funny and Ms. Roxana threw at him: cannot believe you support a Sionist genocidal business. He sent her to take a hike, told her he was Israeli and that he did not want to be related to someone like her.

How is Thomas related to me being a foreign woman on a partner visa with an Israeli? Because Thomas and I are minorities in this land. We often get overlooked, we sometimes feel like second class citizens, we share struggles for sure, and still, we are here. We are standing next to Israel, offering the best of us to keep this country going, to keep home safe.

I left the bar after a few minutes, I wanted my sofa, AC and my dog. When I got up, with less than 15 minutes of knowing each other, Thomas let me know where he works and he added that it is very close to my office so if I ever need anything, I should stop by and ask for him.

Thomas and my husband spent like 2 more hours catching up in life. From what they both did after they left the bar job to what they were doing on October 7th. I don’t know why Thomas chose now to reach out to my husband again but I am grateful.

I believe the coexistence between Muslims and Jewish people can happen, it is happening, we just need to heal, forgive and keep an open mind. And well, if my husband needs to get drunk with Thomas in order to progress on that matter, then the next round is on me.

Ps. Yes, names, places and jobs have been changed 🙂