A Letter to an Angry Nephew

Dear Nephew:

I hope all is well with you and yours. Admittedly, I am tardy in responding to your social media condemnation of Israel. For this I apologize. I just didn’t know how to respond. It’s difficult for me to reconcile your adult views with the Bar Mitzvah boy I remember. I remember when we bought your Bar Mitzvah suit together — that was so long ago… Believe it or not, I did not struggle with your views as much as the way you presented them. You wrote you had “zero interest in debating,” which effectively cut off all communication.

But don’t worry — it is not my intention to debate. Your opinion is, after all, yours. It is your property. But when you place it in the arena of the internet, you invite response. Rather, I would like to ask you some questions — and hope you are open enough to consider them.

Simply put — let me ask just four questions. First, how do you know what you “know”? Are you relying on news sources that take their “facts” from organizations directly tied to Hamas? Have you checked their sources? Have you compared this information with Israeli news reporting? Could it be that the truth lies in between the two?

What do you know about the history of this conflict? Are you aware of previous peace initiatives and why they failed? Have you understood the different ideologies and historical points of view that form the foundation of the conflict?

When was the last time you travelled to Israel or Gaza or the West Bank, and talked with Israeli and Palestinian representatives?

Finally, what should have been the Israeli response to October 7th?

Here I hope you will indulge me. Asserting that Israel has “gone too far” is not an answer — if you are going to publicly condemn Israel, at least present a coherent alternative response.

These comprise only a small sample of what I would like to know — and I really do want to know your thoughts. I also take issue with the specifics of the war and have grieved over its results — but I was in Israel post-October 7, and I have answered “yes” to all these questions.

You conclude that “Fusing my Jewish identity with Israel always felt awkward and uncomfortable, as all forms of nationalism creep me out.” A bold statement — for one who is not active in any aspect of the “Jewish community.” You criticize from the sidelines: judgment without commitment or responsibility is nothing more than arrogant ignorance.

Oh, right, I forgot. You don’t want to discuss the issue — you just want your opinions known and unchallenged.

Ironically, I count among my friends and associates many who disagree with me — more akin to your point of view than mine — but they have reached their conclusion through experience, study, and debate. And they are not uncomfortable with dialogue.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem you have much in common with them — and that is a pity, for these issues are too existential, too dangerous to allow for opinion dominated by ignorance.