A Life of Richness

This past Shabbos, we blessed the new month. The Yehi Ratzon prayer is beautiful and rhythmic in all its blessings. I find that as you go through the words, each blessing is greater than the one that came before it. First we wish for peace—peace of mind, peace in the world, an inner feng shui. Once we’re relaxed, this opens the gates to “a life of goodness,” “a life of blessing.” There’s a lot of wisdom in how this prayer was written in its ascending levels, as one level makes way for the next.

When we work on creating a calm mindset, then we open the channels above to pour down bracha and success. The Hebrew word mazel comes from the language “nozel” or “nozlim,” to drip down or liquids. When we align ourselves correctly and eliminate the chaos and fear most humans naturally have, we align things for ourselves above in Heaven for a mazel tov, for goodness to shower down. Our hard work pays off!

If we follow this prayer further, after more blessing, when we commit ourselves to fearing Gd and avoiding sins (יראת שמים ויראת חטא), we commit ourselves to a life devoid of shame and humiliation, for automatically we’re placing our trust in something and Someone above Man. And ultimately, as we go through these stages of growth and hope for the presence of each in our lives in the coming month, we get to a point of holiness and understanding where Gd can grant us anything in the world, even what we think is so impossible and far beyond our reach.

I came across two amazing insights this week. Recently, my friend Malky from Queens had called me up to discuss our Pesach plans and to catch up. She’s one of those friends I rarely speak to now that I’m living in a different state, but yet every time we do reconnect, it’s like only a day’s passed. We all have friends like that! Anyway, in passing, she mentioned that a friend had called her earlier asking about me. Malky had asked this friend a long time ago to host me and my son for a weekend when I had no plans for Shabbos and was going through a difficult time in my life.

Although I had made different arrangements in the end, this particular woman started to daven for me and my son over her challah every week. This was two and a half years ago. So when she called up Malky recently (also) to catch up before Pesach, she asked, “How’s your friend and her son doing? I’ve been davening for them for three years now. Does she still need my tefillos?” To which my friend responded, “Who are you talking about?”

She said, “Esther Frayda bas Devorah Masha and Shlomo Zalman.”My friend paused a minute, blown away that this woman had never forgotten. “Actually, she’s doing great. She got married, moved to Lakewood and they’re really happy, baruch HaShem!”

The things people do for us that are hidden…I immediately had tears in my eyes when I heard how someone hung on to me for so long, a perfect stranger, with such love and dedication. Who knows, if for her alone, I made it to this very day!

Secondly, I had another phone conversation that was mind-altering with a prominent person here in Lakewood, someone I found to be a real game changer for me in my personal growth and Bitachon. He emphasized the power of positive thinking and that how we view things can alter our quality of living, as well as our very lives. I’m not sure the school of thinking of CBT or the like would appreciate the value we place on our thoughts and the significant role it has on our realities. But I really do believe in this.

Like the Freidiker Rebbe (the previous Lubavitcher Rebbe) taught, Think good and it’ll be good. Is it that simple? I think so—because most people naturally can’t do this. It’s a real avodah!

I think the way we view things can transform our attitudes, our ongoing concerns and allow bracha to flow from above, if we choose to focus on positivity and downplay the pains we all have. Practically not only do we work ourselves up when we ruminate about problems or think critically, we make the wrong choices as a result and are more flustered and angry—which is obviously not healthy or helpful to any of us.

When we work on such “perspective shifting,” spiritually we enable good things to happen. When we trust in our Gd and lay down the reigns of people—seeing HaShem as powerful instead—Gd puts more faith in us and our circumstances. We can slowly make a one-eighty in both our mindsets and eventually our circumstances, for the better.

I would venture to say that after Purim, in this vein, we can still behold our own venahafoch hu!’s, especially as we encounter the miraculous days of Nissan and recount how the impossible happened—going from total darkness as a nation to pure miracles and praise of HaShem in our story of the Exodus. I certainly know this from my own life, how things can look so grim, but if you truly believe, you can be blessed with the greatest stuff on earth.

Even from five years ago, when I transferred hospitals right after my emergency C-section to a facility that had life support, since the doctors felt my newborn son might need it—and there the NICU team, assigned to Shlomo Zalman, gave him a thirty percent chance to live—I held onto the hope that things would be good. And little did I know how great they would become! In two weeks flat, after being hooked up to a ventilator and dependent on medications, my son was carried out to a life of freedom and celebration.

Often, we open our siddurim to cry and beg and overthink our suffering, which is hard, yet we forget to remember all the good HaShem has done for us so far. We forget to honor our miracles.

How we’ve gone from sickness to great health—or have stood by our family members who have endured this. Or how we’ve passed through depression to revival and joy, and from interpersonal conflicts to understanding. The list of blessings in every person’s life is endless, if one chooses to think about it.

If you work hard enough to see the good mazel you’ve already got, Gd only wants to give you more! As Dovid HaMelech wrote in Tehillim, Did you think after all His kindnesses, Gd would forsake you? Have you forgotten all the good? These pesukim were a measure of rebuke along with encouragement that Gd always holds on, even if we believe He’s let go long ago.

We can understand, in this light, that a kind father wants to keep giving more and better when we recognize the good and the great He’s given us already. While we anthropomorphize HaShem according to our understanding of a human father, this still holds true for our King.

Why would Gd want to give if we fail to acknowledge and appreciate? When we choose ways of Shalom and think well and healthfully about our situations, HaShem continues to give—חיים של חלוץ עצמות, חיים של עושר, חיים של כבוד. To give and give and give until we have more love of His Torah and are in a greater awe of Him, אהבת תורה ויראת שמים. And at that point, we’ve reached such a level where Gd says to us, Now what do you wish for? (משאלות לבנו לטובה).

At the cusp of the new Chodesh and a burgeoning moon, it’s time to understand this. To reflect on our circumstances, see what we can change and how we can alter our thinking to think good so it will be good.

It’s time to honor our miracles so we can witness even more—and even greater.