A Rose By Any Other Name

The conflict in Egypt is, perhaps, none of my business. I live in Israel and we certainly have enough going on here that I don’t need to throw my opinion into the winds of the entire Middle East. But when something so obviously humorous presents itself, it is my responsibility as a professional comedian and author of humorous novels to expose the culprit even in grave situations. It’s not pretty, but somebody has to do it.

I don’t want to present Israelis as guiltless. Israel is possibly the most hilarious when it comes to names. Sure, in the United States they have as the head of the Republican National Committee, the one and thankfully only Reince Priebus, who looks and sounds as his name would suggest; but as far as my research has taken me, there is only one of those. In Israel, how many times have we met a lovely female named Osnot (yes…it’s pronounced Oh-snot).

We all know a Nimrod, and I’m talking about a name; not a personality. Speaking of personalities, the most famous of all being the celebrity’s celebrity, Guy Pines. Don’t be fooled by the spelling; it is not pronounced like a grove of Christmas trees. It is pronounced as if the vowels were switched.

Then there is the situation with the name of David. Why can’t we simply call him Dave? Why must it be Doo-Doo? Why does the name Doodie flow from our lips so effortlessly?

This brings me to our neighbors in Egypt. There is violent unrest with hundreds of people being killed because of political turmoil. But is it truly because of political and religious turmoil that this catastrophe is taking place? Is it because the Muslim Brotherhood wanted to take away the democracy they were empowered to preserve? Was it really the army’s responsibility to take over the nation again?

Or is it because the name of the general who orchestrated the military takeover in Egypt is called “El-Sissi”?

Seriously?

El-Sissi?

It sounds like he is a Mexican coward!

I’m no psychologist, but it doesn’t take one to realize this is a classic case of overcompensation. It doesn’t take a psychic to envision this guy having a very painful childhood. Being in a Cairo playground with other kids calling him ‘El-Sissi’ is bound to leave emotional scars.

Of course he was destined to join the army and rise to the top. I wasn’t there, but I’m sure his first statement after becoming general was, “Let’s see you call me El-Sissi now!”

Names can be an albatross around the neck; but there is no need to turn it into all-out civil war. You don’t see Frank Zappa’s kids doing that.

And let’s not even start with Kanye and Kardashian’s kid.