A Surreal Life

This past Shabbat was a weird one. While we in Israel are sitting on eggshells waiting for the inevitable, the planet is still turning, the sun rises and sets and life goes on. So Friday was a flurry of shopping, cooking, errands and an hour break to join a 99th birthday celebration for a very special lady.

Friends from overseas have asked me, are you busy stocking your safe room? Honestly, I probably should have, but it hasn’t even registered that that’s something I should be doing. And for more honesty, my safe room is located in a basement apartment that is not connected to my home, so we’ve just been huddling in our stairwell when we’ve had the few sirens that managed to reach us in our small town.

So while I might have focused on buying water and toilet paper and long-shelf food items, I was making a birthday dessert for my husband’s 56th birthday instead, and working on an art order that needed to get out before Shabbat, and then ten minutes before candle lighting, I helped my daughter make 2 flavors of homemade hummus (basil garlic, and beet), because what’s Shabbat without hummus?

So no panicking here.

Am I scared? Yes. Nervous? Absolutely.

And while this isn’t our first rodeo, this is the scariest one to date. Most of it is fear of the unknown. And the psychological games that Iran is playing are no fun either.

A bride-to-be came by right after Shabbat was over to pick up the Ketubah I made for her. She was so super excited about it, she was beaming with joy. Excitement about her upcoming wedding, about picking up the artwork which just made everything that much more real, about her family coming from the US to celebrate with her. And we talked about the situation – she wasn’t a hundred percent sure they would be able to come since one airline after the next kept cancelling flights to Israel. And she said she was surprised the retaliation hadn’t come on Shabbat, like so many of us thought. She said she wished they would just do whatever it was they were going to do already, so we could deal with it and move on. And throughout this whole discussion, her smile never wavered. She was still getting married and nothing was going to ruin that for her.

And while it feels that we may be on the cusp of a third world war, we have won 6 medals to date at the Olympics. Doesn’t seem that important in the scheme of things, but it very much is. These world class athletes are representing our country with grace and dignity and have showed the entire world what good sportsmanship looks like. And when gold medalist Tom Reuveny said that his brother fighting Hamas in Gaza is more important than winning, he showed everyone where his priorities lie.

We all woke up yesterday morning to a terror attack in Holon, in the centre of the country. Two elderly citizens, a 66 year old woman, and a man in his 70s, were stabbed to death on the street and two others were injured. The terrorist was shot by the police, and we’re all waiting for the inevitable headlines from biased media outlets to report that “Israel police kill Palestinian on the street.” The fact that this WILL happen does not shock me anymore.

I woke up this morning after a fitful sleep. As I laid in bed in the first moments of wakefulness, I realized that despite my fitful sleep, everything was normal. The sun was shining, it was boiling hot out and the world was just as it was when I closed my eyes the night before. A deep sense of relief was the first completely conscious thought I had, but it was quickly followed by the realization that I will go through the same exact experience come tomorrow morning. And the next. Like the movie Groundhog’s Day, we are all stuck in what is starting to feel like a bit of an endless loop. Nevertheless, I was so grateful for this “gift” of another normal day. A day to post my mail, a day to pick up a prescription and a few of my favorite lemon yoghurts, a day to be creative and add more art to my shop. A day to maybe make a batch of cookies and play a new song on the piano. The small ordinary things that make up all of our lives.

I feel like this world is topsy turvy, and I’m stuck in a weird nightmare that, frankly, is not ending anytime soon. This life we live here in Israel – it’s a surreal one. I sometimes feel like I’m on the outside looking in and nothing is making sense and logic has been thrown out the window.

Setting all of that aside, life continues to press on forward to the beating rhythm of our traumatized yet hopeful hearts. Our faith in Hashem, and our indomitable spirit to live life no matter what propels us forward. And through all of this uncertainty and fear, we celebrate 99th birthdays, weddings, and Israeli Olympic winners, and any joyous occasion that comes our way, because we love life, no matter what. We seek out reasons to celebrate, to spread joy, to find happiness wherever it may be hiding and to bring it into the light.