A Tale of Red Underwear

The lore of tank battalion 401 goes that those who don red underwear bring the specter of bad luck to their unit.

So everything that went wrong that day, wasn’t the fault of Hamas. We can safely blame that pair of red underwear.

It all began with a normal trip to the port-o-potty on Joshie’s base. Minutes away from his tank or any other place of safety when the sirens went off, the situation became clear. Stay put and curse your fates.

“Well…this is a pretty crappy place to die.”

Praying fervently in a port-o-potty seemed a justifiable course of action. When the boom signaled the uncomfortable closeness of the landing of said rocket, Joshie left the confines of the toilet to inspect where the rocket had fallen.

Besides the usual trappings of an exploded missile, he found forks and knives all splayed across the field. Along with half an action figure of Batman. He wasn’t aware Batman was active in this conflict, but hastily skipped back to his tank, in case.

Having for a month been running operations back and forth, finding tunnels and destroying weapons arsenals, today was no exception. Despite the general feeling that Joshie’s underwear was endangering everyone present, they still needed someone to drive. Against everyone’s better judgment, Joshie was allowed to join them. When their tank sank into a hole, they knew who was to blame. When they were stuck, glares were shot in Joshie’s direction. Then when anti-tank missiles were shot at them, Joshie’s fellow soldiers were finally fed up.

Upon return to base, the underwear was handed over to the proper authorities.

About the Author
I grew up in Baltimore, the last of five girls born to two parents who escaped Soviet Russia. After I graduated Emory University, I made aliyah and served in the IAF. Now I am studying for my master's degree in International Relations at Hebrew University.
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