A Third Election

Get in line now to guarantee a good spot for the third upcoming election this year. When you hear the results announced you will shout in despair “ma zeh? Od paam?”

I predict, with slight changes, that the results of the third election will closely parallel the failures of the previous two. Jews are among the strangest people on earth.

Ask three Jews their opinions and you will get six or more responses. We are a loud-mouthed people with closed brains and rather than deciding for ourselves we follow the madding crowds.

If results of a third election produce similar catastrophic elections, will we go to a fourth and then a fifth?

It would be simpler for our president to roll the dice and depending on the wished-for number declare the winner.

I wish I could own the company which provides the popcorn and cold colas to be located in every polling place in the country. I could relax in prosperity for the rest of the days of my life.

Omitting that, the voting ballot slips for the 29 political parties could be removed and replaced by only 4 ballots for 4 parties. Oh what a joyous parade to the polls we would witness !

No pushing. No shouting. Just pick one ballot of the 4, enclose it in the provided envelope, seal it and deposit it in the blue ballot box. And then make a less than casual trip for an ice cold Heineken.

The third election date is presently scheduled for March 3, 2020. I have decided not to vote. I do not see a hopeful change for the betterment of our country.

Benny Gantz has now informed President Rivlin that he has been unable to form a coalition government. We are now in limbo and awaiting the now-definite third election. It is a major disgrace to Israel and all Israeli citizens and we have now become the laughing-stock of the entire world ! Shame is on us.

But relax ! Take two or three acamol tablets (with water, not whiskey) !!! Don’t listen to the radio. Turn off the television. Don’t let Rafi Reshef or Amnon Levi make your day burdensome.

Early the next morning you can read all the results in full detail in the free daily YISRAEL HAYOM. And what the heck if the results don’t please you. At least a free newspaper cost you nothing. And it makes a good souvenier.

In the meantime, I will be planning a vacation on the election day date. Somewhere in a normal and quiet country. Someplace nice like Iran or North Korea!!!!!

About the Author
Esor Ben-Sorek is a retired professor of Hebrew, Biblical literature & history of Israel. Conversant in 8 languages: Hebrew, Yiddish, English, French, German, Spanish, Polish & Dutch. Very proud of being an Israeli citizen. A follower of Trumpeldor & Jabotinsky & Begin.
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