A Tikun for Tisha B’Av

Sinat chinam.

Literally translated as “free hate”. Using poetic license, I think it is more accurately translated as unconditional hate.

This is what keeps me up at night.

Along with all the fear and trauma that we have endured, I think about the public discourse and how we the Jewish people relate to one another and my heart breaks.

These thoughts have preoccupied my mind for the past several years, but especially in the days leading up to Tisha ba’av.

I pray for peace, but I fear that we cannot resolve the conflict with our neighbors if we cannot first face one another with open minds, ears, and hearts.

Jewish disagreement is not a new phenomenon, but current conditions may be amplifying it. When we scroll through the internet, the content we see is uniquely tailored to agree with what we already like or agree with. The algorithms are designed to match our existing beliefs. At the same time, our brains are wired with something called confirmation bias, a tendency to pay more attention to information that supports what we already think, and to dismiss or ignore what contradicts it. Neurologically this mechanism is like automatic pilot, if we agree with something, the brain can just continue on its merry way. When we encounter information that is not agreement with our own likes or beliefs the brain has to make a choice: it can dismiss it as false or turn off the automatic pilot, a process that requires effort and critical thinking. The combination of algorithmic information consumption with cognitive tendencies has fractured society as people double down further in their own convictions and are less and less likely to try to listen to other points of view.

I pray for peace. But I also understand that my vision for peace may be different than my neighbor’s. In order to reach true peace, yes we need to reach solutions with our external enemies, but if we cannot find common ground amongst ourselves of what the day after will look like, it will be harder to achieve.

This Tisha Be’Av, when we mourn how sinat chinam brought destruction to Jerusalem, I will pray that we choose to do a tikun and make the choice to listen to one another and work together to rebuild the state of Israel.