Acharei HaChagim – After the Festivals
“Acharei HaChagim” which translates as after the festivals is a popular refrain in Israel at this time of year. In essence, it means things will not get done from Rosh Hashana until after Simchat Torah.
I would like to look at expression in a slightly different way.
We have now been through all the Chagim. Selichot are said by the Sephardim from the beginning of Ellul for the whole month before Rosh Hashanah, Ashkenazim starting near to it. (I always joke with my Sephardi neighbours this is because Ashkenazim don’t eat rice – kitniot -on Pesach).
We have then had Rosh Hashana and the Ten days of Repentance which reach the summit on Yom Kippur. A few days are all we have to make a Sukkah and buy the Lulav, Etrog, myrtle, and willows. From then on, its Sukkot ( a festival that is definitely to be celebrated here in Israel) and then Shemini Atzeret and Simchat Torah.
The Magen David that I wrote about in my most recent TOI blog (“Sukkot: Past, Present and Future”) was up in the Sukkah and has now been carefully wrapped for next year.
But what message have we taken away from this period?
My late Grandma Z.L., would always say “I am only talking,” if she said something that was even minutely controversial that others disagreed with. Grandma was one of the mildest people you could ever hope to meet. I never saw her get annoyed. Maybe this was from the loss of her son, Harold z.l. after who I am named. He was aged seventeen when a German bomb had a direct hit on the air raid shelter in which Harold was in during the second world war.
So, in the spirit of my grandma, here are some “Acharei HaChagim” thoughts going through my mind this year.
Try not to get annoyed with me, after all “I am only talking.”
Baruch Hashem all our living hostages are now home. As I write only four of the dead have been returned, including Daniel Perez who was buried on Wednesday. I wait to hear of the return of the others.
The late Rabbi Dr Abraham Twerski wrote prodigiously combining his Rabbinic background with his work as associate professor of psychiatry in Pittsburgh and also leading the Gateway centre for addiction. He would talk about having New Year resolutions particularly at Rosh Hashanah time. Change is exceedingly difficult. He therefore advised making a single resolution and just try to stick to it.
Have we made a Rosh Hashanah resolution on how we intend to improve this year, and how is it going?
There is the famous story of a younger Rabbi Yisrael Salanter who when appointed as the community Rabbi nearly two hundred years ago, set out to change the world. He realised that it was a bit of a tall order and so decided to change in descending order his country, town , community, family and finally realising that while he can try to influence people, the only person he could really change was himself.
“I am only talking”.
So here are just a few belated thoughts and resolutions to think about. I know I could do better.
Do we care about others enough ?
When was the last time you checked in on:
Those affected by the war -widows orphans, miluim families ?
We need to support IDF, and the rebuilding projects, they are all ongoing. Every week food goes to the soldiers from Ramat Beit Shemesh. For those living overseas there are numerous charities to support. In the current agreement, I see money being sent to Gaza for rebuilding but not Israel.
Families who have had bereavements – for many such as widows, issues continue long after the Shiva
Do you regularly pay elderly neighbours a visit?
If people are missing from your social circle Shool, or gym, do you follow up with a call go see what has happened to them ?
“I am only talking”.
I learnt a very valuable lesson in 1996 from a family friend called Esther. My late mother in-law was a victim of botched surgery. Baruch Hashem, she survived, but the whole episode from the original surgery to finally coming home was spread over nine months – the majority of it in hospitals. Esther would ring every Friday afternoon to see how things were going. I thanked her for her weekly call and concern. She explained that Friday afternoon was when she was cooking for Shabbat, and this was her “thinking time.”
We sometimes need to take time out from our busy schedules to stop and think about others.
“I am only talking.”
My late Uncle Jack z.l., who I referenced last time, bought the Lulavim for the family. Every year he would say “best ever.” It became a mantra.
After his untimely passing, I used to go with my cousin to buy them. On one occasion we went to a seller in Hendon (in London) where the prices were supposed to be more realistic. It turned out that this was because you had to bind the Lulavim yourself. (it is not so easy particularly when you have a large number to do).
A Rabbi who was speaking one Shabbat afternoon after the Chagim when the Shool Rabbi went away decided to show us the finger stall on his hand. Going into full “Tevye” mode he asked if we would like to know how he sustained the injury.
He was going to buy his lulav and was trying to get the best one, when the top of a leaf went into his finger – a painful experience (see above). It was then that it struck him (not just the lulav), and he calculated:
“Am I the best Jew in the shool, and if not do I deserve the best Lulav ?” He then listed several examples for self-improvement. Over 25 years later, the lesson is till with me.
On Sukkot we take the lulav , etrog myrtle and willow and hold them together. We are told each of the four species represents a different type of Jew.
However, we can only make the blessing when all four are held together – Achdut – Unity.
I am not making a comment for or against the prime minister, I was just saddened to see that the anti-Bibi adverts on YouTube resurfaced as the negotiations for the hostages were nearing completion. The mantra has been “Beyachad Nenatzeach – Together we will win”. We must keep together as one nation
Surely this could have waited. Maybe the money being spent would have been put to better use supporting an of the number of charities that are emailed via the Times of Isreal ??
Booing when Steve Witkoff spoke – is this really Beyachad Nenatzeach – together we will win ? This is the sort of division we had on the 6th of October
“I am only talking.”
We must allow for opposite views, but please show respect each other, rather than some of the behaviour that we see.
Demonstrations are fine, but without the hate. Please do not block roads, particularly for those of us undergoing medical treatment in hospitals.
Just a thought, but if we refer to one group as ultra-orthodox, how come we never refer to others as never ultra irreligious ?
Newtons laws relate that each and every action should have an equal and opposite reaction. Better still, just drop the categorisation of people.
The Yom Kippur Tel Aviv ban on Yom Kippur davening 2023 was so sad to see. If you do not want to participate, then do not go. What is the problem in others wanting to pray?
“I am only talking”.
Let us make this year a kinder and caring year. The last two have been so tough on all of us.
If you want to, feel free to take some of my thoughts to heart,
But at the end of the day…
“I was only talking.”