Alcohol, culture, and the pressure to drink

Every culture has its telling relationship with alcohol. Things get complicated when you’re responsible for, say, setting up a multicultural event where people are going to want to drink different types of alcohol, and some won’t want to touch alcohol at all. Indeed, some might be offended there’s any alcohol at all. Gets tricky.

I can more or less guess how it is in Israel, given its history, but here in Poland – sadly – the culture of alcoholism is very much alive. Sure, Russia is worse, but there are sad similarities. When I was in high school, fellow students tried all sorts of tactics to make me drink. I valiantly resisted their alcoholization attempts which made me quite a puzzle for some of them. Some respected my choice, and saw it as a sign of strength, and some, trying their manipulative ”prowess” on me, used arguments like, ”Come on, don’t be a pussy, drink with us.”

I never saw the appeal of drinking. I guess, at the time, part of it was the thrill of hiding from adults. Sure, I like risk, but not that kind of pointless risk. Just like with kids who hide in the bushes to smoke. They want to be adults, but behave like children and don’t even see it. Adults don’t hide in the bushes to drink, or smoke. Hardly the thrill of a lifetime. Only kids get the hide-and-seek alcohol adrenaline rush.

”If you don’t drink a lot, you’re not a man.” See, that, right there, is one of the stupidest things to say to someone. I believe it’s a remnant of Russian influence here in Poland. Same as with what we used to call fala (the wave), in the military. Mistreatment, mobbing, you get the idea. I believe ”the wave” also goes back to our Russian ”friends,” where, of course, the wave is much, much worse and some men actually die, either when trying to get the hell out of the military, or by getting tortured so badly by their superiors, they lose their lives and the whole thing is swept under the rug.

I know the ”wave” is in every military in the world, the whole military structure is conducive to that, but – seems to me – the Russians have perfected torturing not just foreigners they enjoy invading, but their own people as well. Their saying, ”When you fear, you respect,” is all you need to know about their mindset. They don’t care about our love  About our understanding. They want to be feared. And they are willing to do anything to make us fear them because – to them – fear equals respect. You see it on every level of their society.

If you don’t drink a lot, then, clearly, you’re not a man. That’s a Russian mindset which, thanks to the centuries of Russian imperialism, spread around, including to Poland. This childish mindset where men try to show off their so-called manhood by doing stupid things is way less prevalent today, luckily, but it’s still there. To me, you’re more of a man when you can tell a bunch of ”macho heroes” that you aren’t going to join them for a drink, tell that right to their face, respectfully, but firmly, rather than getting drunk just to appear manly.

Sure, drinking is alright, but there’s a difference between drinking every now and then, and drinking like crazy where one’s sober state is just a temporary break from drinking.

The problem arises if drinking is a part of your work culture. And, let’s face it, most of us need our jobs. It used to be a major problem in Korea, for example. You had to stay after work and drink with your bosses for hours. Now, I’m not sure how it is now, it’s my understanding there’s less pressure because the younger generation is less willing to tolerate drinking just to please their bosses, but the problem is still there.

Alcohol isn’t our enemy – unless we turn it into one.