All Play and No Work? — When Did Work Become a Four-Letter Word?

I wonder and worry, “When did ‘work’ become a four-letter word?” We have been taught to accept that the only constant in life is change and those who embrace it and adapt will be happier. Those who continuously resist change can end up frustrated and discontent, always pining for “the good old days”— which, in reality, may not have been any better.

However, what happens when change is not an improvement, when it disrupts and derails basic needs and expectations? As a former schoolteacher and a long-time human resources director, I can emphatically say change is inevitable and the ability to keep up with the times is critical for success. But the changes I see in the workplace are, at best, a mixed bag.

When an employee is summoned to Human Resources (HR), a normal expectation would be that the HR person will describe whatever situation needs attention and the employee will listen carefully to the points being addressed. A discussion might ensue and, when the employee returns to work, it will be clear what needs to improve. That was the working model. Sadly, this is not the case anymore.

Recently, I spoke with a not-so-new employee about his inability to be a team player, as observed by his co-workers and managers. My intent was to encourage him to take on additional tasks to assist his team, as his predecessors had done. His response was that he was doing as much as he felt was sufficient and that should be good enough for me and everyone else. This triggered a flashback to conversations with my Dad, whose simple advice often provided clarity. He would have simply said to me, “The tail isn’t supposed to wag the dog.”

Hearing that employee’s response, I sat there dumbfounded, remembering many performance reviews I had — some fair, some harsh. Because of my own experiences, I vowed to always be kind and helpful to our employees. For some, that is appreciated. For others, it becomes a license to say and do as they please. I wondered, “Is this situation ‘my doing’ or is it just the way it is nowadays?”

In any case, I went on to explain to that employee why his assessment was inaccurate. I got nowhere. I only wish this were an isolated incident, but it is not. Employers expect workers to leave their personal problems and annoyances about co-workers at the door, to display professionalism on the job and give a full day’s work for their pay. Many workers claim they do just that. I can assure you, they don’t.

Some employees not only bring their personal issues to work, but these issues are often front and center throughout the day. Frequently, they come into my office with specific personal needs or gripes about their colleagues.

Recently, we had to speak to one younger worker who consistently arrives late to work. We even put him on probation to demonstrate the gravity of the situation. Just the other day, he came into my office and blurted out, ”I have to go home to run an errand for my mom, and you just have to understand.” I could only imagine what my former bosses would have said to me if I tried that line on them. I would have ended up on a line–the unemployment line.

In our company, we have created a comfortable and collegial workplace where people need not be fearful that management is lurking, ready to criticize their every move. Quite the opposite. We treat people with respect, and we are more than willing to help when they have challenges. At the same time, we encourage staff to share their ideas with management.

But, at times, our workplace feels more like a school where some employees expect to be rewarded “just for showing up.” So, I wonder: “How far should individual expression go? How much should employers accommodate”? More people seek fewer work hours, work-from-home options and additional paid leave. They expect raises every year regardless of their performance.

Often, they don’t want to hear constructive suggestions to improve their performance, which would help the company succeed. They prefer to do things “their way.” Our company’s strength is the personal touch – a human answering the phone, a salesperson addressing customer needs at almost any hour. Our warehouse and delivery staff are encouraged to help customers even when it is inconvenient because we realize the customers come first. Their orders pay company salaries and bills.

If we accommodate each and every worker’s wish and whim, I fear we will accommodate ourselves right out of business. When I speak to people in other workplaces, they complain about the same things —poor work ethics and the desire to make a lot of money without the requisite work.

Judaism espouses pertinent points about the ethics concerning work. It calls upon people to work diligently and take on responsibility. For the employer, ethical standards in business conduct and fair treatment of workers are essential. We are all encouraged to find a work/life balance, allowing for family time, rest and spirituality.

In our professional lives, we strive to meet these expectations in all aspects of our business relationships. Yet, this balance seems off with people prioritizing many things above their work responsibilities when work is, in fact, how they support their lifestyle.

So why is this happening? Some people blame the way parents are raising their children now, shielding them from criticism and creating in them the sense that their feelings matter more than anyone else’s. Others comment that, today, people are more sensitive to everything. Some blame social media, which allows everyone to express themselves on any subject. While their comments may land like facts, they are not; they are opinions.

When people disagree on a topic, fewer are interested in having a real discussion. I don’t see this as a generational thing either. I interact with employees at all stages of life. Petty behavior knows no age limit.

I was raised to believe that every successful relationship, work or personal, is based on give and take. But I worry, “How much more should employers have to give to please workers without compromising the company’s core mission?” To me, a necessary change would be for workers to realize there is a bigger picture at stake, that individual preferences cannot dominate the day.

Seeing yourself as part of a team, working for common goals, should be its own reward since those accomplishments are tangible and recognizable.

With shrinking job opportunities and the growing impact of artificial Intelligence, one would think this would be a wake-up call for workers.

On the job, we need all elements in play ‑- employers who provide fair working conditions, employees who do their jobs and clear goals for everyone. Without all of these parts working together, we may not have a company at all.

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Debby is a member of the Hadassah Writers’ Circle, a dynamic and diverse writing group for leaders and members to express their thoughts and feelings about all the things Hadassah does to make the world a better place. It’s where they celebrate their personal Hadassah journeys and share their Jewish values, family traditions and interpretations of Jewish texts. Since 2019, the Hadassah Writers’ Circle has published nearly 650 columns in The Times of Israel Blogs and other Jewish media outlets. Interested? Please contact hwc@hadassah.org.