I have to be honest, when it comes to Passover, I’ve been totally spoiled over the years. As a standup comic who performs at various resorts over the holiday, I’ve seen it all when it comes to lavish, everything taken care of scenarios. From the famous “Tea Rooms” with every snack you can imagine, to waiter service at a personal table, I’ve been lucky to spend the past few years at some of the of best resorts in the world. I’ve even been spoiled when it comes to the Seders, spending them with the Gorin/Andron families through my friend Michelle and her husband Ben. They have gone above and beyond taking care of me since I was the sad, pathetic single guy all by himself. I would play that one up as much as I could, if not only to evoke whatever laughter I could get out of it. Michelle’s sister Stephanie, one of my favorite verbal targets, would constantly taunt me about getting married and I would tease back, usually much to the delight of her own husband, Tuvya. The family is in Miami and many of the resorts are based there. Needless to say, this year, I won’t be able to taunt Stephanie, be spoiled by Michelle’s Mom, Helga’s cooking or worry about getting to a show on time just as the first days of the holiday end.
This year, I’m on my own, for the first time in my life. Even as a kid, my parents obviously handled it, and the few times I wasn’t at the Gorins or Androns, I’d have an invite somewhere. “All who are hungry, let them come and eat” was always taken to heart by the Jewish community. This year, even if you wanted to invite someone over, you shouldn’t, and if you get an invite you shouldn’t take it. Lets just be honest, this year, if you’re single, its going to suck comparatively, but… maybe not as badly you think.
This year, we may be in it alone, but there may be some solace. Now before you even think I’m going to go down the “we can gain serious introspection from being by ourselves”… blah blah blah, don’t worry, I’m not going there. It’s gonna suck… oh man is it gonna suck!! But, it may not suck as badly as you think it will, and here’s why. Even though plenty of us will be by ourselves, don’t forget other friends will be too, so in an odd way, we’re in this thing together. I’m honestly looking at it as a challenge and my goal is to make sure I at least do a better job than certain friends of mine. If there was ever a time to act like a childish competitive five year old, now is that time. My goal is to bury my buddies who think they have this thing down, and when the holiday ends, tell them I nailed it.
Now of course, I’m not going to compete with Helga Gorin’s cooking, or the Tea Room in Prague and Greece, (where I was supposed to go this year, so I don’t want to hear your complaining) but that doesn’t mean I can’t still try and get this thing right. I’ll even cheat and pre order on the tough stuff because lets be honest, as a single guy I lack certain… shall we say “things” that are normal.
“Charoset. Oh that’s easy! Put the ingredients into a food processor…” A What?! And by the way, what the hell is a shankbone anyway? Looks like I’m pre ordering the Seder plate. And you know what, that’s OK. There’s no way in hell I’m spending fifteen bucks on a potato kugel so a spud in foil will handle that, but at least I’ll get it done.
So, if you’re alone on Passover this year, don’t worry, I promise you’ll get through it. Turn it into a challenge, and remember, at least you’re more competent than “that guy”. Do the best you can, don’t drive yourself nuts, and remember there are a bunch of us alone this year too. Gut it out, get yourself that one item that’s a treat and remember, I’m alone too. But at least we can be alone… together. And in the end, my pre ordered brisket I’m hoping will be better than yours.