An Immodest Proposal

Next year our grandson will join the IDF. He’s working hard right now to raise his profile so he can be a combat soldier. Like millions of Israelis, we’re proud and nervous.

His mother and father, meanwhile, are paying crazy amounts of taxes so the Haredim my grandson will be defending can go home to a nice meal after a busy day of blocking roads.

The juxtaposition, and the resentment, aren’t new. No eloquent op-ed on either side is likely to change anyone’s mind, so why bother to argue? The issue is what is to be done.

Sending out draft notices, then arresting a few people with no real consequence, isn’t helping. Nor are the sad scenes of police clashing with black-hatted youth and their rabbis. I always feel sorry for the horses most of all.
The most obvious answer can’t happen because of politics. The moment a young fella ignores a draft notice, suspend every stipend he gets from the government. Period. Come to the draft office and we’ll turn the spigot back on. Meanwhile, find somebody else to buy you dinner.

Then, assuming he has imbued his values from a yeshiva, trace the draft dodger back to the place that brought him up this way. Not every yeshiva teaches people to detest, defy and yet exploit their government, of course. So this is the way to single out the ones that do. Whatever subsidy that yeshiva gets for indoctrinating the dodger, suspend that as well. It’s just one, but it could start adding up.

This, of course, won’t happen as long as the current parliamentary system suppresses what the majority actually might want. And even if it did happen, it would take years for real change and common sense to gain a foothold.

So in the meantime, how do we keep traffic rolling? With apologies to Jonathan Swift, here’s an Immodest Proposal:

Israeli drivers typically carry a kit to help deal with roadside emergencies, including a reflector triangle to warn oncoming motorists of a stopped car ahead, and a bright vest to make sure anybody outside his stranded car is seen and avoided.

Add a couple of items to that kit to make sure the roads stay clear: a jar of bacon bits, and if that doesn’t help, some photos of women in bikinis.

Insensitive to many people? Probably. Insulting to the beliefs and moral codes of a large segment of the population? No doubt.

Of course that matters. But so should the feelings – and pocketbooks – of soldiers and reservists and their families,  who have borne such an unfair burden for so long. So far that hasn’t mattered at all.