Mort Laitner

Another Brick in the Wall

Baltic Triangle, Liverpool, United Kingdom, 10 May 2016 https://unsplash.com/photos/ecqqYfV2AgA Matt Pritchard, Cartoon art piece on brick wall, Wikimedia Commons (public domain)

The spirit of Annelies Marie Frank prances onto the Berlin stage. A sold-out Mercedes Benz Stadium roars. A giant inflatable pink pig balloon floats above the stadium. The head of the pig is adorned with the mask of Pink Floyd co-founder, Roger Waters. The pig sways and bobs in the dark night sky. The porcine’s butt is branded with a large black swastika.

The crowd screams, “Anne, Anne, Anne.” They shout her name over and over and over again. Anne freezes in the middle of the stage as a dancer dressed as an Israeli paratrooper hands her an Uzi.

A 40’x40′ white screen lights up. On that screen, a picture of an emaciated Roger Waters appears. He is plastered—crucifix style—on to a red brick wall. He wears striped pajamas. The crowd yells, “Shoot the Jew hater! Shot the Jew hater!”

Anne complies by aiming and pulling the Uzi’s trigger. The Uzi’s rat-a-tat-tats bullets across Waters’  bloody chest.

The music rocks and the crowd sways, as Anne drops the Uzi, grabs the mic and belts out the words to her anthem:

Hey Putrid Waters, this is what we think about your message

We don’t need no racist education

We don’t need no Nazi thought control

We don’t need your Berlin rallies

So leave your ass and guns at home

Hey Waters, leave our Jewish kids alone
All in all, you’re just another swastika painted on the wall
All in all, you’re just another swastika painted on the wall

Anne stops gyrating, takes a sip of water and throws the bottle into the crowd.

The crowd goes crazy.

And now 50,000 fans start singing along with Anne:

We don’t need no stinkin’ dictators
We don’t need no pigs wearing Jewish stars

We don’t need no Nazi sarcasm
Hey Waters, leave our Jewish kids alone

All in all, you’re just another piece of crap splattered on the wall
All in all, you’re just another piece of crap splattered on the wall

We don’t need no racist education

We don’t need no Nazi thought control

Hey Waters, leave those Jewish kids alone

Hey Waters, leave those Jewish kids alone

All in all Waters, you’re just another piece of antisemitic s*** clinging to the wall
All in all Waters, you’re just another piece of antisemitic s*** clinging to the wall

About the Author
Mort Laitner is a writer, storyteller, and lifelong observer of the wonderfully unpredictable human condition. His writing combines humor, Jewish wit, personal experience, and a healthy dose of curiosity about the rapidly changing world around us. A South Florida writer and longtime member of the writing community, Mort writes about everything from technology and artificial intelligence to Israel, Jewish life, aging, friendship, and the everyday absurdities of modern life. His stories often begin with a simple question—and then take the reader somewhere unexpected. Mort believes that good writing should make readers laugh, think, and occasionally say, “I never thought about it that way.” His work has appeared in The Times of Israel and in literary publications and anthologies. Whether writing about Moshe and Mordechai arguing over the latest news, an encounter with artificial intelligence, or the peculiarities of getting older, Mort brings his distinctive voice, humor, and humanity to every story.
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