Another School Year: On the Same Side of the Table
As another school year begins, I find myself thinking about something that I believe is essential to a child’s success in school and yet often receives too little attention: the partnership between families and schools.
Imagine a school where parents and educators approach challenges together, where concerns are raised early, trust is already established, and everyone sees themselves as part of the same team. We would have stronger schools. Our children would thrive more. We would spend less time navigating misunderstandings and more time helping children learn, grow, and feel supported.
After all, we all want the same thing.
I often say that parents and educators need to learn how to communicate from the same side of the table. We may have different perspectives, different information, and sometimes different ideas about what a child needs, but we share a common goal: helping that child succeed.
When I was growing up, my mother came to my conferences once or twice a year, attended Back-to-School Night, and read the notes on my papers. Most of her interactions with the school were as a volunteer. Granted, my youngest brother (may his memory be a blessing) was a very active troublemaker, so she spent a bit more time in school because of him. I honestly do not know if my father ever entered our elementary schools and I was one of five children. The assumption in those days was that the teacher was always right.
I am not advocating for a return to those days.
The reality is that parenting and schooling are different today. Parents have greater access to information about their children, more opportunities to communicate with schools, and understandably high expectations. While these changes have many benefits, they can also create anxiety, misunderstandings, and tension when expectations are unclear or relationships have not yet been established.
What if we viewed parent-school partnership as something that could be intentionally taught and practiced?
From the moment a family enters a school, we could begin building the foundation for that partnership. Schools could offer workshops and conversations led by teachers and administrators that help both parents and educators develop the skills needed to work together effectively.
From the parent side: How do I approach the school when I am concerned? What if my child is struggling academically? What happens when social dynamics are affecting my child? How do I advocate for my child while maintaining a productive relationship with the school?
From the educator side: How do I approach a parent when I believe a child needs additional support? When should I communicate growth and successes, not just concerns? How do I discuss social challenges with a family in a way that builds trust and partnership?
These are just a few examples. The larger point is that communication, like any important skill, can be learned and strengthened.
And this learning should not be a one-time event. I know that traditional parenting workshops are not always well attended. Schools can incorporate these conversations into programs that already bring parents together. The goal is not another obligation on busy calendars; it is creating a culture in which partnership becomes part of how we do school.
Of course, there will always be situations that are complicated, emotional, and difficult. No workshop can eliminate every challenge. But difficult conversations are easier to navigate when there is already a foundation of trust and a history of working together. The strongest partnerships are not built during a crisis; they are built long before one occurs.
I believe that we are all in this together. In the stress and busyness of daily life, it is easy to forget that. Schools and families will not always agree, and partnership does not require agreement. It does require a shared commitment to the child at the center of the conversation.
If we invested more intentionally in helping parents and educators communicate from the same side of the table, I believe our children, our families, and our schools would all be stronger for it.
