Avram and Sarai: Five Lessons for Jewish Newlyweds

As demonstrated in this week’s Torah portion of Lech Lecha, long before they became Avraham and Sarah, the patriarch and matriarch of the Jewish people, Avram and Sarai faced extraordinary challenges as a couple.

From example, in Chapter 12 of Lech Lecha, we learn about their extensive relocation from Haran to Canaan and then departure to Egypt, due to an unexpected famine, and then the horrendous abduction of Sarai to the palace of Pharaoh.

Although the Torah does not describe which year of marriage these events were encountered, they do offer five essential lessons for Jewish newlyweds beginning their own journey together.

1. Lech Lecha: Move from ME to US

When Hashem commanded Avram to leave Haran, Sarai accompanied him into an unknown future.

Marriage lesson: Marriage means creating a partnership in which both spouses participate in decisions and build a shared future.

Newlywed Challenge: Choose three values that will define your Jewish home.

2. The Famine: Face Challenges Together

Soon after arriving in Canaan, famine forced Avram and Sarai to travel to Egypt.

Marriage lesson: Unexpected difficulties are inevitable. Financial pressures, changing plans and disappointments should bring spouses together, not drive them apart.

Newlywed Challenge: Replace “What should I do?” with “How can WE handle this together?”

3. Egypt: Protect Each Other’s Emotional Safety

Fearing for his life, Avram asked Sarai to identify herself as his sister. She was subsequently taken into Pharaoh’s household before being returned.

This troubling episode highlights the dangers of fear and decisions that leave a spouse vulnerable.

Marriage lesson: Love requires honesty, mutual respect and responsibility for each other’s physical and emotional well-being.

Newlywed Challenge: Ask, “What helps you feel safe, respected and loved in our marriage?”

4. Chesed: Practice Kindness at Home

Avraham and Sarah later became renowned for their hospitality and generosity.

Marriage lesson: Chesed begins at home. Appreciation, patience and thoughtful gestures create an atmosphere of love.

Newlywed Challenge: Do one unexpected act of kindness for your spouse every day.

5. Shared Purpose: Create Your Marriage Vision

Avram and Sarai’s journey was guided by faith and a mission greater than themselves.

Marriage lesson: A thriving Jewish marriage benefits from shared spiritual values, meaningful goals and a vision for the future.

Newlywed Challenge: Complete this sentence together:

“Our marriage will be built on ______, ______ and ______.”

The First Year: Building a Foundation for Life

The Torah recognizes the importance of the first year of marriage. Devarim 24:5 emphasizes a newly married husband’s responsibility to bring happiness to his wife.

What a powerful reminder that marital happiness deserves attention from the very beginning from the Ground Up!

Avram and Sarai’s journey teaches Jewish newlyweds five foundations for a strong marriage:

• Partnership: Think WE, not just ME.
• Resilience: Face challenges together.
• Emotional safety: Protect each other’s dignity.
• Kindness: Make love visible through daily actions.
• Shared purpose: Build a Jewish home with a common vision.

A wedding celebrates one day. A loving marriage is built through the choices we make every day.

A NEWLYWED PROJECT – A DATE NIGHT PODCAST

At Together in Happiness, we believe marriage education helps couples develop the skills to build loving, resilient and harmonious Jewish marriages — beginning with their very first year.

Our recommendation is to make a fixed date night and what better project than watching the new podcasts on practical marriage insights through our Building Jewish Marriages with Susan Barth podcast.

MORE TO COME

This is the first article in a three-part series tracing the marriage of Avram and Sarai into that of Avraham and Sarah, exploring how marriage grows and develops through different stages of life.