Back to Bonn: The UN Refuses to Recognise Berlin as Germany’s Capital (SATIRE).

Senior officials at the United Nation have today announced that Bonn is in fact Germany’s capital city and not Berlin.

“After World War II and the end of the German Empire it was agreed that Bonn would be the capital city”, stated a spokesperson, following a special session of the UN.

“We do not believe a country has the right to determine its own capital city so we have started to put legislation in place to ensure the occupying power, Germany knows that it must both recognise East Berlin to belong to Prussia and must restore Bonn as its actual Capital City.”, Mr Maarten Control-Friq, deputy director for UN capitals stated. “Germany is currently occupying East Berlin which is actually going to be the capital of Prussia, and we require Germany to stop building any settlements or new developents in the area”, he added.

15 countries have now agreed to move their embassies out of Berlin and back to Bonn in line with international law. A special cartography office in Brussells is in the process of changing all offical maps to reflect the decision.

German President, Angela Merkel, is said to be taking legal advice on the situation. “Berlin has always been the capital city of Germany”, she said.

Representatives from the Prussian Liberation Organisation (PLO), a former terrorist gang  now recognised as a political body by the UN, have welcomed the decision. ” We might stop firing rockets into Germany if they hurry up and pay us”, they commented. “Berlin has always been the capital of the Reich, sorry I mean Prussia, and we own it since before 1945! We will not tolerate this occupation!” A spokesperson stated.

Further comments on the new German capital city of Bonn will be made later today following a meeting at the Reichstag.

About the Author
A British freelance writer and radio presenter/producer, John has written for the Jerusalem Post and various on-line publications. In the past he has written mainly on health-related subjects. After spending a significant time in Israel and visiting Palestine, and with many close friends in the area, he has a real wish to clarify some of the misunderstandings about the difficulties in the region.