The Blogs: Be Happy or Look Away

The Torah Portion that we delved into last week was Re’eh, your own inner view of reality. It is our choice to connect to the only reality, that Hashem is in charge. Now with deep fakes, algorithms and even our own eyes taking in every nook and cranny of every nook and cranny, Torah is the only unchanged and never-changing truth.

As a Labor and Birth Doula, I guided my clients to understand what we actually see and what we think we see or imagine, becomes our reality. Our body reacts accordingly, freezes in fight or flight. Did you know that when an animal in labor senses danger, the birth process halts, they walk to a dark, quiet space and continue to bring the baby into the world. This article talks about how we react is completely upto what we choose to see, https://www.chabad.org/parshah/article_cdo/aid/7447074/jewish/How-to-Stop-Being-Paralyzed-by-Your-Problems.htm.

There are many different levels of how Jewish people observe guarding their eyes. Many stay away from smart phones and only have a kosher phone to make phone calls and send messages. Television, movies and social media are off the table, especially for children. Nowadays it is rare to see a child without their own smart phone, as young as three! What impresses me most is the holy men that can walk by a beautiful woman and avert their eyes, especially if they are married.

This Friday is my 19 year wedding anniversary, and I feel grateful that I also married the Chabad community. My husband is still cooking Shabbat lunch and events in Los Angeles at Chabad Israel Center for almost 40 years! The Lubavitcher Rebbe encouraged women to embrace their inner and outer beauty, telling 1991 Miss Israel winner, Miri Goldfarb, that outer beauty is a gift from God meant to be elevated through acts of goodness, Torah and Mitzvot. At the Chabad House, I see happy couples, embracing the holy and the modern in harmony. Gathering for celebrations, hearing words of Torah and everyone can look each other in the eyes with joy.

My observation is that when you have met your other half, feel like you can be your unapolagetic self all of the time, and express yourself fully, that is the only way you can truly look the opposite sex in the eye as soul to soul. In Jerusalem a couple of years ago I had my first all night Shavuot learning with Rabbi Goldberg of Chabad of Rechavia, in a class called Women First! In the seventh blessing of the Sheva Brachot that are said after a wedding ceremony, at the end of the meal, when Moshiach comes women will be openly dancing and singing and our souls will be shining bright. We will rise above all the physical distractions and desires, and we will clearly see each other’s inner core. I am so ready for my essence to be fully expressed and to never diminish myself, while others also understand that there is no competition or comparison, we are all unique in our vision, mission and purpose.

My conclusion is BE HAPPY OR LOOK AWAY. When we have gratitude, other people’s success, relationships and how they look is just that, and we are happy for them. Working on your own self worth, self love and self care should be your top priority. TAKE CARE OF YOU. When you love yourself, only then will you be able to love others.

I love myself so much. I am so grateful to my parents for always giving me unconditional love and supporting me in all my waves of my incredible life journey. It is still going, and right now is the hardest time of my life. I have never had hard, I was born in Russia, and we are tough, we just deal. Everything was framed as an experience, but not my identity. I do not understand the obsession with identity, just be yourself, beyond ethnicity, color, gender, religion or where you grew up.

I HAVE NO TRAUMA.

Living in Los Angeles, California the last 25 years I have been seeped in the most ridiculous “I AM,” delusion. So grateful my children were spared from being allowed in elementary school to be a dog in a classroom, and from a fifth grade visual presentation in gender reassignment surgery. TO EACH THEIR OWN, BUT LEAVE MY KIDS ALONE!”

The present tense does not exist in the Hebrew language. There is past tense and future tense, but when you are present, there are no words, it is just your true self in the moment. When I teach Yoga, I explain that we are different every day. We have a chance to start fresh every morning when we say Modeh Ani, thanking our creator for recharging our soul for a new day. Creation happens in every moment, anything can change in a blink of an eye. It is such a freedom to know this as a fact, it is not up to you. Give your all, open your eyes and see revealed miracles align with all of your efforts and dreams.

What I love most about Jewish people, is that we are always blessing each other. In happy times and in hard times, we ask for the name of the person that needs prayers. Every morning I see the sun rise over the Old City, and feel like Hashem has been spoiling me the last two years. Someone said “daddy’s girl,” describing how one of the ways to understand our creator is as a parent that gives and loves infinitely to his children. I feel the energy, see the magic and miracles in every moment, BARUCH HASHEM.

Last week I had the privilege of bearing witness to the October 7 massacre. With my exotic looks, I have never experienced any discrimination or racism. FUN FACT: My father was born in Grozny, Chechnya and people from that region by Turkey and Iran are literally called black by Russians, so in the former Soviet Union where I was born, I was considered black. When I was growing up in Miami, Florida people assumed I was Cuban, and in Los Angeles, California I was 100% Persian. It used to drive me crazy to fill out forms because I am born in USSR, my father is from the Caucasus Region (nothing Caucasian about it, look it up,) and I am aa Mish Mosh, big mix, just like many of us are. I did not fit in the White, Black or Native American boxes in the 1980’s. My friend who is Mexican and Salvadorean was also listed as white in the eighties because there was no Latin American box!

Did you know that signs in the USA used to say no Blacks, Jews or dogs allowed? Now with the Black, White and People of Color narrative in America, the only reason I would fit into “white” is because I am 100% Jewish. If you would come to Israel, you would understand that Jewish people originated in our homeland, and were thrown to every corner of the world. No countries fully welcome Jews, and persecuted, expelled and murdered with glee, as they blamed Israel and Jewish people for all the ills in their societies.

This is October 7. Jewish hatred.

This is what happened on October 8. The whole world happily and openly blamed Jews.

Many Jewish people from around the world aligned against Israel and their own nation. In my most recent battle with a disconnected Jew from Los Angeles, when I asked him if Israel was in danger, this was his brainwashed answer:

“NOT REALLY. VERY LITTLE DANGER. THAT’S WHY ALMOST ZERO PEOPLE HAVE DIED IN 70 YEARS OF RANDOM ROCKETS.”