Before Hope Runs Out…

We’re less than a month away from Rosh Hashanah. On the second day, we read about Akeidat Yitzchak. We get to the part about Avraham ready to sacrifice his son and the commentators say that the angels are crying out “…The knife is at his throat; how long will You wait?”

That same day, we read the Haftarah that has the passages about Rachel Imeinu crying out for her children. Several years ago, I heard a wonderful shiur about her. The Maggedet Shiur (lecturer) asked why she stole her father’s trafim (idols) and kept them with her instead of destroying them. The idea given is that deep down, a part of her still didn’t believe in Hashem and thought that the trafim had some supernatural powers. Generations later, Rachel’s plea to Hashem went beyond the idea of allowing a rival (Leah) into her marriage. She reminded Hashem that she didn’t believe in Him 100% and she begged Him to not allow her children’s hope to run out and to not give them an excuse to give up on Him. Hashem answered her with “there is hope for you ultimately and your children shall return to their borders.” 

All these years later, after all our national tragedies, we’re still in one of the worst. It’s been 11 months and October 7th isn’t over yet. And we just mourned the murders of 6 of our hostages. One of the mothers, Rachel, is the one who said that “hope is mandatory.” 

We still have 101 hostages trapped in Gehenna. 35 dead and 66 still alive. But now we’re in the position that we’re reading about on Rosh Hashanah. The knife is at our throats- Hamas has threatened to execute more hostages. They have no intention of releasing the hostages no matter what concessions Israel makes- it’s the only leverage they have. Sinwar is reported to have planned to escape with a bunch of our hostages to more “friendly” countries where we’ll need a more overt miracle to get them back. Our homeland is getting attacked by rocket fire. Terrorists are still getting in and murdering more people. And the rest of the world cares more about the “resistance fighters” and the “innocent civilians” (many of whom supported the terror attacks and held people captive) than about helping our truly innocent hostages. 

Aviva Siegel, who was released back in November (and whose husband Keith is still trapped there), said that after a few days, she and Keith began to wonder if they had been abandoned and forgotten and if anyone was ever going to come for them and get them out. This after only a few days. The remaining hostages have been trapped for over 330 days. Do they feel abandoned and forgotten? Carmel Gat, h”yd, said in her final video that she wasn’t even sure if she had any family left. 

Not only is the knife at our throats but it’s getting harder and harder to keep up hope. I’m a perverse and very stubborn type so I’m still holding on. But I’m hearing from people all around me who are losing hope and faith. I admit that I’m losing my faith in people- some are just naive and others are outright brainwashed- and so I have no other choice but to keep faith in Hashem. But hope is starting to run out.

I keep reminding myself that Hashem is in charge and that the world wouldn’t be so insane if He wasn’t making that happen. I also like what my friend said- “HaShem’s got this”- as words of chizuk for those going through a hard time. I’m sure that a lot of my fellow Jews feel the same way. And every so often, I get a Hashgachah Pratit incident that reminds me that He’s right there. 

But we’re only human and we can only take so much. And we’re the ones who have safe shelters, decent clothes, food and drink, and fresh air. Our hostages don’t even have any of those things. Their families are barely breathing in their worry and fear. Just how much more can they take?

As I write this, I’m between birthdays. My secular birthday just passed and my Jewish birthday is coming up. It’s said to be an auspicious time for prayer and blessings. So here’s my plea. 

Hashem, please bring them home. I don’t think any of us care how You do it. Maybe You’ll turn Hamas into marionettes and be the puppeteer who gets them to release the hostages despite themselves. Maybe You’ll put the fear of G-d into them so that they release the hostages. Maybe You’ll give Eretz Yisrael some good leverage that leaves Hamas with no choice but to release the hostages (and You’ll make the Israelis use that leverage). Maybe You’ll give Eretz Yisrael some good intelligence that allows for successful rescues. Maybe You’ll send an earthquake or other “act of G-d” over there that leaves the terrorists killed or trapped but that allows our hostages to get away. Again, we don’t care how You do it.  

Hashem, don’t think that I don’t notice those Hashgachah Pratit moments. They give me hope every time. But our hostages and their families need hope a lot more than I do. 

Just please bring them home safely. Before the knife goes to their throats or to our throats. Before life runs out. Before hope runs out.