Before the Next Alex Miller: Rethinking Veteran Suicide Prevention

One Young Life, One Unbearable Loss

Alex Miller was 23 years old.

Originally from Miami, he moved to Israel, served as a combat soldier in the IDF, was wounded in a 2022 car-ramming attack in the West Bank, endured rehabilitation, and then returned to serve beside his comrades. After his discharge, he moved back to the United States. Last week in Miami, he died by apparent suicide after struggling with post-traumatic stress connected to his military service.

His story is unbearable because it is singular: one young man, one father’s only child, one life that can never be replaced.

It is also unbearable because it is not singular enough.

A Crisis Too Large to Ignore

The Times of Israel reported that suicides and suicide attempts among IDF soldiers and veterans have surged since October 7, 2023, and the wars that followed. At least 60 active and reserve soldiers reportedly died by suicide between October 2023 and April 2026. A Knesset Research and Information Center report found that 279 active soldiers attempted suicide between January 2024 and July 2025. Combat soldiers made up 78 percent of suicide cases in Israel in 2024, a dramatic rise from prior years.

Behind every statistic is a person whose pain became too much to hold alone.

Courage Does Not Make Trauma Disappear

We need to say something plainly: courage on the battlefield does not protect a person from despair afterward. Loyalty to one’s unit does not erase trauma. Love from family, even deep and devoted love, does not always reach the places where shame, grief, fear, and helplessness have taken root.

That is not a failure of love. It is a warning about what trauma can do.

It is also a warning about what can happen when a person leaves a world of mission, danger, brotherhood, and constant vigilance, and returns to a civilian world that expects him to simply resume life.

Waiting for Crisis Means Waiting Too Long

For too long, suicide prevention has relied heavily on a crisis model: wait until someone is in imminent danger, then try to intervene. Crisis lines, emergency rooms, therapists, psychiatrists, commanders, families, and friends all matter. They save lives. But if our only serious response begins when a person is already at the edge, we are arriving too late.

We need prevention that begins earlier.

We need tools people can reach for at 2:00 a.m., before they are ready — or able — to call anyone. We need ways to help someone name what they are feeling before the feeling becomes too much to carry. We need practices that reduce emotional isolation, not just programs that respond to collapse.

That is the urgent space where new approaches are needed.

Emotional Literacy as Prevention

At PAIRS Foundation, our work has long focused on helping people safely express painful feelings before those feelings harden into disconnection, rage, numbness, addiction, violence, or despair.

One of the lessons we have learned across decades is that people are often not overwhelmed by feelings alone. They are overwhelmed by feelings they cannot name, cannot share, cannot make sense of, and believe they must carry by themselves.

The PAIRS Yodi App was created to help people practice emotional literacy and relationship skills in a private, accessible, nonjudgmental way. Yodi guides users through structured exercises that help them slow down, speak honestly, listen carefully, and move intense emotion into words.

PAIRS materials describe Yodi exercises that begin with appreciations and then guide users into specific sentence stems such as “I notice…” while practicing paraphrasing and confirmation.

That structure matters.

Research on combat disclosure helps explain why. A study published in the Journal of Family Psychology found that, among US Air Force service members returning from a year-long high-risk deployment to Iraq, partner support was linked to lower postdeployment PTSD symptoms — and that willingness to disclose deployment- and combat-related experiences to an intimate partner accounted for a significant part of that connection. In other words, support mattered, but part of how it mattered was by helping service members speak about what they had carried.

That does not mean veterans should be pushed to reveal more than they are ready to share. The same research field cautions that disclosure depends on the relational context: in distressed or unsupportive relationships, disclosure can create additional harm rather than relief. The point is not forced disclosure. The point is emotionally safe disclosure — the kind that is paced, supported, and met with empathy.

Turning Pain Into Words

When someone is flooded with pain, the mind often collapses into global, dangerous conclusions: I can’t take this. No one understands. Nothing will ever change. I am alone. I am a burden.

A structured exercise can create a small but vital interruption. It can help a person move from emotional chaos into language:

“I notice I have been carrying this alone.”

“I am hurt by what I saw and cannot forget.”

“I am afraid that if I tell the truth, people will think I am weak.”

“I want someone to stay with me and listen without trying to fix me.”

“I appreciate myself for making it through this moment.”

Those sentences do not solve trauma. They do not replace treatment. They do not remove the need for emergency care when someone is in danger.

But they can help create a moment of relief. They can help a person get through the next few minutes. They can help someone hear their own pain without being consumed by it. They can help turn an overwhelming feeling into something shareable.

That is not small.

Technology Is Not a Substitute for Care — But It Can Be a Bridge

Yodi is not therapy. PAIRS materials are clear that Yodi is an AI-powered relationship coaching app, not a therapy service.

People experiencing suicidal thoughts, PTSD, depression, or acute distress need access to trained professionals, crisis care, and, when necessary, emergency intervention.

But the future of suicide prevention will require more than therapy alone, because many people at risk will not start with a therapist. They may start with silence. They may start with a phone in their hand. They may start with a feeling they cannot admit to anyone else.

That is where accessible, skills-based tools can help create a bridge.

Dr. Alexander Eisenberg, a Miami-area family physician, describes Yodi as “a groundbreaking companion in the journey of personal growth and relationship enhancement,” adding that its use of AI, combined with the PAIRS program, offers “a unique and effective approach to addressing communication challenges and fostering emotional connections.” He recommends Yodi to patients as a tool for navigating relationship challenges and promoting overall well-being.

We should meet people where they are — while also being clear about what digital tools can and cannot do.

The Exercises People Can Practice Before They Are in Crisis

What makes Yodi different from a generic chatbot is that it is built around specific PAIRS exercises people can learn, practice, and eventually master. These are not abstract wellness tips. They are rehearsals for moments when language disappears.

The more a person practices naming anger, fear, hurt, guilt, gratitude, and need when they are not in immediate danger, the more likely they are to have those words available when distress surges.

In Emptying the Emotional Jug, users practice naming and confiding the full range of emotions — anger, sadness, fear, guilt, gratitude, and relief — so painful feelings do not stay bottled up until they become overwhelming. PAIRS describes the exercise as a way to relieve stress, distress, and anxiety while making room for more uplifting emotions such as pleasure, desire, and love.

In the Volcano Anger Ritual, users learn that anger has energy and information, but does not have to become destructive. The point is not to shame anger or suppress it. The point is to discharge intense anger safely, without turning it against oneself or someone else.

In the Museum Tour of Past Hurts, users are guided to recall painful memories as “pictures on the wall,” choosing one to share for the purpose of understanding, healing, rebuilding trust, and strengthening connection. The exercise helps people bring old wounds into language instead of letting them silently shape today’s reactions.

In Joyless, Mindless, Loveless Messages, users identify early life scripts and limiting beliefs — the internal messages that can whisper, “Don’t exist,” “Don’t make mistakes,” “Don’t need,” or “Don’t be you.” Yodi helps users recognize those inherited messages and begin replacing them with affirming truths.

Elizabeth R. Koch, founder of Unlikely Collaborators, has written, “When we stop being afraid of our own stories, we discover the freedom to rewrite them, and in doing so, we expand the walls of our Perception Box so wide the impossible becomes possible.” Despair often narrows a person’s world until only one story feels true. Healing begins when another story becomes possible: one with language, connection, care, and a future.

Yodi also includes exercises such as Talking Tips, Daily Temperature Reading, Clarifying Expectations, Fair Fight for Change, Untangling a Love Knot, Letting Go of Grudges, and Confiding an Emotional Allergy — each designed to help people practice the skills of noticing, naming, listening, repairing, and reconnecting.

For someone carrying trauma, grief, or shame, that kind of structure can matter. It gives a person something to do with pain besides hide it, explode from it, numb it, or aim it inward.

A veteran sitting alone at night may not begin by saying, “I need therapy.” He may begin with something smaller and more immediate:

“I notice I have not felt safe in my own body.”

“I am angry that I came home but do not feel home.”

“I am hurt by what I cannot forget.”

“I am afraid people will think I am weak.”

“I want one person to stay close and not look away.”

Those sentences are not the whole answer. But they can be a beginning. And sometimes a beginning helps a person stay connected long enough to reach the next layer of care.

Veterans Need Support Before, During, and After the Breaking Point

For soldiers and veterans, especially those who have endured combat, injury, loss of comrades, moral injury, and the shock of returning to civilian life, prevention must be continuous.

It should not end at discharge. It should not depend on a young veteran knowing exactly how to ask for help. It should not require a person to prove they are broken enough to deserve care.

Every discharged combat soldier should leave service with a continuing-care plan: scheduled check-ins, peer support, family education, trauma-informed treatment options, and digital tools that help them regulate painful feelings in real time.

Families should be taught what to listen for. Friends should be taught how to stay close without interrogating. Communities should be taught that “he seems fine” is not a prevention strategy.

A simple beginning can be: “I’m not here to judge or fix this. I’m here to stay close. Tell me what this hour is like for you.”

“I Am Not Okay” Must Become Easier to Say

We also need to reduce the shame attached to needing help after service. The same young person who could run toward danger may still be terrified to say, “I am not okay.”

We need a culture where that sentence is treated not as weakness, but as courage.

After Alex Miller’s death, the Katzrin municipality mourned with his father, Danny Miller, and described the family’s grief as unbearable.

That word matters.

Unbearable.

The work before us is to make sure fewer people have to carry that kind of pain alone.

The Work Before Us

That means building systems that reach people earlier. It means expanding access to crisis care and long-term trauma treatment. It means supporting families, not just individuals. It means making sure no soldier disappears into civilian life without a continuing path to care. It means giving veterans tools they can use privately and immediately when pain surges. It means teaching emotional literacy as a life-saving skill.

And it means remembering that suicide prevention is not only about stopping death.

It is about helping people find one more breath. One more sentence. One more human connection. One more reason to stay.

May His Memory Become a Demand

May Alex Miller’s memory be a blessing — and may it become a demand.

A demand that we do more.

A demand that we act sooner.

A demand that no soldier leaves service without a path back to connection, care, language, and life.

If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, call emergency services. In the United States, call or text 988 or use 988 chat for free, confidential support 24/7. In Israel, ERAN provides anonymous emotional first aid at 1201 and online support.