Bereishit: Time Awakenings

Beginnings are usually clouded by the grandeur of what we plan to achieve with this newness. We plan ahead for a year of nonstop greatness and wish to become that ideal self. Although we can feel that drag downward, especially once the high days are over and reality forces us back to “normal,” we still try to hold on to our resolutions. To prove that we are still holding on, it still hurts us when we fail at them.

But the trick to implementing our new decisions that will hopefully bring us to next Rosh Hashanah feeling somewhat better than the last is to accept the fact that we are just humans. We tend to put ourselves up on a pedestal and think of ourselves as invincible. Yes, we can get there, and truthfully, it isn’t that far of a distance, but that entails complete dedication and unwavering commitment to our goals. A person I met in the past would complain to me about their spouse choice, not that they weren’t happy with the other or thought lesser of them, but rather, they made their choice from an ideal stage in their life, while in reality, they are still holding many steps behind their spouse’s Baal Teshuva level.

When we see ourselves in lofty positions in life, we challenge ourselves to remain there. We set certain standards for ourselves and even yell it from the rooftops so that the world should know what we are really all about. But once the high fades, we wiggle ourselves back to our comfort zones and move on with life, not because we lied while we were in this great and holy place, but rather because we have no clue how to get back up there.

Chassidut brings a fundamental concept that rules the world: “It’aruta D’leila – Awakening from Above” and “It’aruta D’ltata – Awakening from Below.” Much like creation wasn’t because anyone from below requested it, but rather it was from the Source above that it was so “willed” to be, so too is it when we are given high holy days and times throughout the year that we are put into a setting of awakening. When one finds themselves in the days of Tishrei and decides to make a change to their life, they should thank Hashem for giving them the opportunity to stabilize themselves within the world and refocus their use of time and effort. We were awakened from above and lifted all the way up to our ideal levels of “self,” and that requires a true commitment and dedication to be able to hold onto the wings and not let go as the arms grow weak.

But is it truly this way? True, Shabbos comes on its own, and Hashem set the dates for all the Yamim Tovim so that they happen automatically, whether we remember or not, whether we feel ready or not. But we say in Shemonah Esrei and in Kiddush, “Mekadesh Yisrael Ve’Hazmanim.” The reason we say Yisrael before Zmanim is because once we are holy, we can now take “time” itself and set it to be holy. We have a Beis Din that listens to witnesses, and they determine what day in the week should be Rosh Chodesh, and from there, the rest of the month and its holidays follow. We have a big role in making sure that the times Hashem set to happen actually come to pass. It is our due diligence that will actually determine when the light of Pesach and Chanukah show up. And that is the awakening from below.

Rashi points out, just as we start the Torah anew, that truthfully, the Torah should’ve started at “Hachodesh Hazeh Lachem Rosh Chadashim,” in Parshat Bo, Exodus 12:2. That is the Parshah where Hashem points to the moon and says, “Yes, I created it, but it is yours to be Mekadesh!” It is true that the moon and all had to be created from above, but there is a big step that has to come from below in order to have it function properly.

There is so much goodness in the fact that we get to be “in charge” of time here on earth. We have the ability to make our next choices and not succumb to a system that happens to us and a machine that expects everything from us. We get to take control of our days, in a sense that we get to be Mekadesh our moments with our choices.

So why doesn’t the Torah start in Parshat Bo? Because we have to climb our way up to being able to hold the reins of time. It isn’t enough to be put into a world with so much heavenly greatness and then expect for us to be able to live with clarity all day long. Look at the people who lived on earth until the Mabul; they had no clue how to handle the goodness that was given to them. It was a playground where everything had to be explored, tasted, tested, and tried. Time wasn’t valued, and it barely held any significance; it was a free-for-all carnival with zero accountability. We have to learn about our fathers who climbed from the ground up and awakened their hearts to Hashem M’ltata. Once we learn about their lives and belief, we will be able to live at the peak of the mountain and know the pathways up and down. We won’t just be little children playing with crystal vases; we will be upgraded to mature and trustworthy adults who can take the heavenly gifts and use them with caution and holiness. And these are the lessons we learn in Bereishis.

So now that we find ourselves at new beginnings, where we have an entire year ahead of us, we’ve seen our ideal image throughout these high holy days. We screamed from the rooftops and now feel somewhat sheepish as we face the people we placed in our lives to be held accountable to. We saw the great potential of time and of our choices, and it seemed so easy to just drop all the noise and that clingy Yetzer Hara. But now, as reality kicks in, what will we do to really make this year different?

Hashem teaches us this: He could’ve created the entire world with a single thought, but instead did it in ten words. And with each and every creation, He marveled at it and said, “This is good!” We don’t have to jump to perfection on day one; we have time, actually an entire lifetime, to be human. So embrace the fact that you do not seek perfection, because all you truly need is to spend your minutes properly. When a bad thought comes in, pivot away and think of something nice, and say, “This is good!” When temptation arises, shift your focus and take yourself out of being alone in loneliness by bringing yourself into the public sphere, and use that time for good.

Take time seriously, take yourself seriously, and feel like a winner with every little win. The beginning was given as a gift from above; what truly matters is what you will do with it. Create that schedule, and take each moment with stride. I know it is very hard not to fall, but remember what your goal is, keep the clarity you saw in the good days, and don’t let shortcomings stop your progression. My goal is to keep my faith in Hashem by choosing right.

Shabbat Shalom!

David Lemmer

LemmerHypnotherapy.com