Bo: The Hallway of Innocence

The firstborn. There aren’t many things that can compete with the first. Any first carries the mighty change it caused and has an everlasting effect on the person. Imagine a long and empty hallway. You walk along the beautifully minted walls as you start wondering what may be on the other side. But after a while of not finding any openings, you decide to run your foot through it and break it open. That initial view, the first peek to the other side, is when the innocence is shattered with something brand new and interesting.

We may come to find that what we uncovered on the other side was not worth the kick in the wall, but once a hole, always a hole. We may have to carve out the area in order to place a door so it looks good. Also, we will need to place a sign on the outside to tell you what lies within. That itch to find out more is the curiosity of innocence, but at the same time once we find out, that innocence is lost. As we grow older we have less and less innocence to lose, and may come to places where we are actually so uninterested to find out more since we may lose much more than we gain. We all want to believe that there is gold and riches behind that wall, but in many cases we are left losing more than just our innocence.

Some doors we crack open suck us into a whirlwind of newfound ideas and withhold us from finding the exit. It will actually try and spit us out in a place so far from our entrance that when we do find ourselves afterwards we will be wishing to have never opened that door. 

So should we just stay stagnant all of our lives and not dig and discover? That seems to have been the answer before the Etz Hadaat was introduced to the big picture, but once the forbidden fruit was tasted and we found something delicious that our heart starts craving for more of that, what we don’t realize is that the first bite is the feeling of losing innocence, and the second is never the same.

The Gemara in Yevamot 63b quotes “Rabbi Yehuda taught his son Rabbi Yitzchok that man does not find calmness of spirit, only with his first wife… like your mother who will get upset and will be appeased by a simple word.” The first is special, and not just because it was a bite in a fruit that tasted good once. It has a lasting effect that when invested in and when it is constantly on the mind it is a relationship you never wish to sever or end. It has the potential for life altering satisfaction that no other fruit can provide.

This is the basic concept of the Etz Hadaat, that although the bite was sweet and it gave us a life of turmoil which seems to offer loss more than gain, it has the potential to be our greatest source for satisfaction. The opportunity we have now that we build a relationship with what we have tasted is the chance to constantly be reminded of the good time we had and the work that will bring us back to that beginning moment once more. 

When it comes to the Etz Hadaat though, when we do return to our level of innocence we hope to be smarter than last time and reject the bite, because only so can it be sweeter than the bite itself. But through life with a wife we gain so much as we raise ourselves higher and higher than the first time and elevate our experience with deepening love that grows boundless and eternal.

Not for naught does the Torah refer to a wife as bread, Genesis 39:6, Exodus 2:20, so too does the Midrash, Bereishit Rabah 17:8, refer to Adam as the Challah of the world, since he was kneaded by Hashem with vapor and earth. The Mitzvah of Challah, in Numbers 15:20 is called “Reishit Arisoteichem Challah, the first of your dough…” Adam was the first dough of the world, and was ruined by eating from the tree of knowledge. A wife is called Lechem – Bread. With all of these connections we see a clear pattern in the greatness of the first and the potential of their power.

Before we get to the firstborn son we must dig into another two places where we find the concept of first. 

1. Bikkurim. Deut 26:2, “And you shall take from the [Reishit] first of all fruits of the ground…” The word Bikkurim is derived from the same word as Bechor, for it is when the farmer sees his fields and trees blossom and sprout his happiness knows no bounds as his toil is slowly starting to pay off. The breaking of the ground months earlier, the tears he shed as he prayed for rain, the constant worry that weighed down his heart, they all fly away as he sees the first fruit peek through at the end of the winter season. 
2. Reishit Ha’gez, the first shorn sheep. Which also requires much effort and investment before the seasons change and a return is made. Although both of them seem natural, then again, the laundry you find folded in your drawer also seems natural after a while, but it still needs to be acknowledged. And that is the investment that is asked of us once we reach the greater levels as we return to the beginning stages of innocence.

This is akin to the hole one breaks open as he hopes to find gains on the other side but for many months and years he may be in the planting seasons which can and will raise many doubts that will push him to quit, but it is that first ray of hope, the shiny little fruit that comes after the hard work that brings life back to him and makes him say that the loss of innocence paid off for the feeling of receiving a return and reward at the end.

This is Bechor in a nutshell. The Mishnah in Bechorot 8:9 states, “The Bechor only takes twice the inheritance in established assets of the father and not in his potential assets.” Meaning that he can take double the value of the building but not double the rental income in the future. Only what is now in front of him can be doubled, not what may come in the future, which means that if the father collected rent a day before he died, that money will be doubled in the firstborn’s portion.

The father’s drive in life, his calmness of spirit that he carries along with him is thanks to his firstborn. As the Meshech Chochmah explains, “He made him a father.” Until the day of his birth this man was a simple youngster, albeit married. It didn’t process until the time his responsibility for his child was introduced. 

The life of the father changes drastically as he now has someone who looks up to him and has an image he wishes to set as an example. The assets the father attained is all due to his drive that was implanted into him with the birth of his son, so as the father dies, he receives double for igniting his father drives as Hakarat Hatov (like Bikkurim), but once the father’s life is done it’s done.

At times the work becomes hard and brings along its doubts, “Am I doing enough? Does my child think less of me as he witnesses my weaknesses? Was it better to just remain a child forever?” But as the first leaves blossom and the fruit starts sprouting, all the hard work and effort pays off. It is now that the father insists to invest even more even though it is only taking him further from the innocence he lost as he opened the door to this daring endeavor, because the gain of this proposition is much greater than the loss he once thought he had.

Hashem calls us Exodus 4:22, “B’ni Bechori Yisrael, My son, My firstborn Israel.” Hashem speaks to us as the Father to his son. “You have blossomed and shown me a great return on my investment, you have the potential to rectify the Challah of the world with hard work in this world after the Etz Hadaat, but when you will come back to me at the end of days, you will be returned to the levels of innocence and purity where you and I can be as one with joyous hearts much greater than when you have left.”

Shabbat Shalom

David Lemmer

LemmerHypnotherapy.com