LaLa Vak

Boy Bye!


Seasons are changing, winter is arriving and as much as we all need that snuggle buddy, it is time to say goodbye to that one person you always seem to keep around. You know who I mean. You are reading this and without even describing him, you already know who he is. (I say he because I used to have a guy similar to this in my life so it is easier to relate from my own perspective.) I can guarantee that 80% of you have one of these guys, but don’t worry, I will explain who he is.

He is the guy you keep on the back burner for a time you feel like you need comfort and attention. He is the guy who is allowed to come over at 2 am after a night out with his boys just to give you the lay you think you want/need. He is the guy who has screwed you over many a time, but you dismiss it and make excuses for him.

He is the guy that comes in and out of your life every few months but the only way you can actually describe him is “a friend you occasionally hook up with.” He is the guy your friends have told you many times to drop him from your life, but you don’t listen.

He is the guy who said he isn’t ready for a serious relationship but you keep doing whatever you keep doing in hopes that one day he will change his mind. He is the guy who you have told “I can’t do this anymore” to, yet still find yourself running back when he sends you a cute text to see how you are. He is the one who tells you he misses you and cannot wait to see you, making you think he will finally come see you after what feels like forever but you just keep waiting.

He is the guy who gives you what you think you want, but he is never truly enough. Basically, this guy is your drug. You cannot work out why you are so attached to him, but now is the time to let him go and I am going to help you to realize why.

If you found this blog, congratulations — I think you are smart already. So because of that, join me on this journey of understanding who you are and what you need/deserve. You are a wonderful human being. What do wonderful human beings deserve? Honesty, trust, respect and love. I can guarantee that as much as he gave you many happy times, he never respected you the way a woman should be respected. You couldn’t fully trust him because even if you dated at a certain period of time, you always worried he was messaging other girls. Was he always where he said he was? Probably not. And did he give you the love that nourished your soul? No, he didn’t.

But we must learn, this person will never give us everything we are worthy of. He will never make you truly happy because he doesn’t really care about you. He cares about having you. Knowing you will always pick up his call, he is comfortable and it is an ego booster for him.

You may have dated and it didn’t work out, but it never will. Maybe his last relationship messed with his mind, maybe he has issues he needs to work on but we need to learn to stop waiting around, hoping he will realize how awesome we are. Yes, you are awesome so stop trying to change him. Don’t you think the guy who is right for you won’t need to be convinced to date you?

Lastly, stop trying to make him into a best friend. He will never really be a true friend. Yes, you guys get along in a way no one can understand, you have a bond and when you are together you laugh in a way that burns your stomach, but it isn’t real because it isn’t going to last. The minute he gets a new girlfriend, you will not exist. If you don’t believe me, wait my dear.

So why do we hold on to these people? What is it about them we crave? Why do we need them like a heroin addict needs to inject?

Attention. As living and breathing humans, we crave attention to the mind and the body; it is as simple as that. But now is the time to cut loose. Cut the ties. Be free from the negativity, exhale the bullshit and start fresh, because you deserve the best!

About the Author
Lala Vak started blogging in 2010 joining the blogosphere with great power. With a blog nominated in both 2012 and now 2014 for the Cosmo Blog Awards, she is one to watch out for as she will say all the things you are thinking!