Celebrating our 18th Aliyahversary!

Eighteen years ago, my wife, our two young children, and I left our home in Highland Park, New Jersey, and headed to JFK for a one-way flight to our new home in Israel.

At the time, aliyah was still, in many ways, just an idea. Sure, we had done the research and as much planning as we could. We had spoken to people, considered communities, thought about schools and jobs, and tried to prepare ourselves for what was ahead. Yet, the truth is that we really had no idea what the future would hold.

My wife and I both grew up in homes where Israel was presented as our true home. We were both involved in Bnei Akiva, and both of us had inspirational post-high-school years studying in Israel. Aliyah was always somewhere in the picture.

But, as with many things in life, the path from dreaming about something to actually doing it is rarely a straight one.

After getting married, buying our first home, and settling into stable jobs, we had built a great life. We were involved in our community, had amazing friends, and were both on clear professional paths. From the outside, there was little reason to change anything.

Yet something was still missing.

When our youngest son was around 6 months old, we realized that if we did not take action on aliyah soon, there was a good chance it would never happen. There would always be another reason to wait: another promotion, another school year, another financial consideration, another milestone.

My wife, perhaps rightfully so, insisted that we could not make aliyah unless one of us had a job in place. So, that January, during winter break, I embarked on a pilot trip to Israel, not really knowing where it would lead.

We had family in Hashmonaim and friends in Modi’in, so that part of the country seemed like a logical place to start. Over the course of my ten-day trip, I made some good contacts, visited several communities, and learned a great deal about employment in Israel. By the time I was ready to board my flight back to New Jersey, I even had a promising lead on a job.

And, as they say, the rest is history.

Here we are, 18 years later. We now live in Hashmonaim. Our two little boys are no longer so little. Our family is thriving, and additional family members, including siblings and parents have either joined us in Israel or are on their way.

Looking at a family picture from 2008 next to one from today is almost surreal. So much has changed. And yet, in many ways, the dream that brought us here remains exactly the same.

What Have We Learned?

I am often asked by prospective olim why I think our aliyah was successful.

It is a difficult question because, for all the happy memories we are able to share, there have also been plenty of stressful moments, times when we questioned whether we had made the right decision.

Over the years, I have started compiling my own list of suggestions for families considering making the big move. Some of these ideas may seem obvious. Others come directly from mistakes I made along the way.

Here are a few things I wish every prospective oleh knew.

Be Your Own Best Resource

Making aliyah requires the support and guidance of others. For those coming from North America, we are incredibly fortunate to have organizations such as Nefesh B’Nefesh helping with many of the major steps.

But ultimately, you have to be prepared to do some of the heavy lifting yourself.

Finding a job, figuring out educational options for our children, navigating bureaucracy, and finding a community that suited our needs were just a few of the tasks we had to tackle.

There is help available, and you should absolutely take advantage of it. But aliyah also forces you to develop a level of initiative and resourcefulness that you may not have known you possessed.

You quickly learn how to make the phone call, ask another question, find the right person, and keep pushing until you get an answer.

Be Open to New Ideas

Before making aliyah, my wife and I were both established and respected in our professional circles. When we arrived in Israel, it quickly became clear that, for a number of reasons, we could not simply pick up where we had left off.

For one thing, our Hebrew was not at the level needed to work comfortably with native Israelis. There were also certification requirements, professional expectations, and placement issues that we had not fully considered.

Over the years, I have met olim who became so focused on recreating their previous professional lives that they closed themselves off to other possibilities.

Fortunately, we were willing to adjust.

By working in related fields, continuing our education, building new skills, and being open to opportunities we had not originally envisioned, we were eventually both able to build long-lasting careers in Israel.

There were certainly times when I seriously considered returning to the United States for work. Eventually, though, we figured things out.

Everyone’s circumstances are different, but one lesson has stayed with me: the more flexible you are willing to be, the more opportunities you will be able to see.

Stand Up for Yourself

Most people in Israel have good intentions and genuinely want to help. But at the end of the day, you still need to advocate for yourself and your family.

Over the years, there have been occasions when people we wanted to trust let us down. Sometimes those people were Israelis and sometimes they were fellow olim.

When we purchased our first home in Israel, I still remember a real estate agent suggesting that we skip the home inspection so that the sale could move forward more quickly. Needless to say, his priorities and ours were not exactly the same.

I have also encountered professional situations in which people acted in disappointing ways.

The lesson is not to become cynical. It is to understand that being a new Oleh does not mean you have to simply accept whatever you are told.

Even when you do not know the language perfectly or fully understand a particular procedure, you can ask questions, seek another opinion, get help, and advocate for yourself.

Learn Hebrew!

Okay, anyone who knows me is probably reading this section with a giant “Do as I say, not as I do” disclaimer.

When we made aliyah, I arrived with a full-time job and went almost immediately to work, while my wife started Ulpan.

Fast-forward 18 years and, yes, her Hebrew is significantly better than mine.

There are other reasons for that as well, including the fact that I have spent much of my career working primarily with English speakers. But if I could go back and give my newly arrived self one piece of advice, learning Hebrew would be near the top of the list.

Hebrew allows us to advocate for ourselves. It helps us integrate into Israeli society. It allows us to interact directly with teachers, doctors, government offices, neighbors, colleagues, and everyone else without constantly depending on someone to translate or explain.

Yes, learning a language takes time, energy, and often money, all things that can be in short supply during the first stages of aliyah.

But make the time.

After 18 years, I recently restarted my own Ulpan journey with Ulpan La-Inyan. Better late than never!

Make learning Hebrew a priority. Your future self will thank you.

Channel the Stress

Even the most successful aliyah stories come with stress.

My wife has said many times that a successful Aliyah requires three things: a good relationship, a sense of humor, and some money in the bank.

After 18 years, I think she is right on all three counts.

Even with those things, though, there will be stressful days.

Israel welcomes us home as new olim, but we still arrive as novices trying to understand a new system. Tasks that once seemed routine like going to the doctor, opening a bank account, dealing with a school, calling a government office, can suddenly feel like monumental ordeals.

Everyone deals with stress differently, but it is important to find an outlet.

For me, I will admit that sometimes a few episodes of Family Guy are enough to reset things. Other times, something more is needed. Even a day or two away from the normal routine can make an enormous difference.

Whatever works for you, understand something before you arrive: no matter how meticulously you plan, there will be wrong turns, frustrations, failures, and surprises that you could never have anticipated.

Don’t plan for if those moments happen.

Plan for when they happen.

Live the Dream

Aliyah will likely be one of the most challenging processes of your life.

In the difficult moments, remember why you were willing to give up so many of the comforts and certainties you had before to embark on this unpredictable journey.

Aliyah is unlike any other immigration experience. There is a reason we call it aliyah, literally, “going up.”

For many of us, living in Israel is something we spent our entire lives dreaming about. We grew up singing about Israel, learning about Israel, visiting Israel, praying toward Israel, and imagining what it would be like to someday call this place home.

Then, one day, you actually do.

Even after 18 years, we are constantly reminded of how fortunate we are that we made this move. Our children have grown up very differently than we did, and we are thankful that we have created a new path for future generations of our family.

There will always be challenges. That is part of life wherever you live.

But living in Israel is a dream unlike any other.

Eighteen Years Later

These are just a few of the thoughts that come to mind as I look back over the past 18 years. I could probably write another 18 pages about the mistakes, adventures, frustrations, successes, and lessons along the way.

But one thing is clear: we made the right decision.

Our children are thriving. We are blessed to be surrounded by family and friends. We have built careers, a community, and a life here.

Sure, we occasionally miss some of the comforts of our old home. When I make it back to the United States, I still grab the first Diet Mountain Dew I can find, and I will always enjoy a good ballgame.

But at the end of the day, those are not the things that define where home is.

Eighteen years ago, we boarded a one-way flight with two little boys, a lot of luggage, a carefully constructed plan, and absolutely no idea what was really waiting for us.

Today, we can look back at that young family and smile.

We took the chance.

We made the move.

We built our lives here.

And being able to truly mean it when we say “Am Yisrael Chai” makes every challenge along the way worth it.

Here’s to continued aliyah success for our family, and for the many others preparing to take that same one-way flight home.