Change?

If there’s one thing the last few Israeli elections have taught us, it’s that the Children-of-Israel (C-of-I) don’t want change. The 37 leading opposition parties have worked this out (read, “employed the same consultants”) hence they are united in defeat with a single voice, “Anything but Bibi”. So, no promises, no lies, no changes, just more of the same albeit without a pink champagne swilling, Romeo and Juliet toking, cryin’, talkin’, sleepin’, walkin’, livin’….bugs bunny doll.

What the C-of-I really want is in fact a pink champagne…….(you get the idea) as well as a POTSI (Prime minister Of The State of Israel) who can show two well-manicured fingers to the rest of the world. Not only that, but one who can swing it so that when POTUS calls him a pots, or a pussy, he can make it sound like two buddies having a good time. Obviously a guy who’s spent most of the last three years in court is guilty of something, which is why charges have been…oh, no, they haven’t been. Guilty? No problem, everyone is guilty of something, find me a world leader who’s innocent of anything and she won’t last long. Is POTSI the man for the next four years? Obviously not, he was asleep on 7th October, he failed to part the straits of Hormuz, he didn’t bring down the pyramids with a wave of his pinky, and as for all that enriched uranium, jeez, he couldn’t even load that onto Wings of Zion. Useless. Israel needs a real leader. Someone who drinks French fizz, smokes Cubans for breakfast and frames Roger Rabbit.

So he has a cabinet full of self serving, self righteous, self promoting ignoramuses. You know the old joke, Margaret Thatcher is in the cabinet room, midday, the waiter comes in and asks,  would you like to order sir; “I’ll have the Steak” and how would you like it, “raw please” and what about the vegetables? “oh, they’ll have the same as me”!

Keeping his enemies close, and his friends in the closet. Good policy.

Anyone reading the Israeli press (apart from being woefully ill informed about anything happening in Israel thanks to the military censor) will know that POTSI has no friends, and no second in command to take the Likud reins. (According to the slightly more lefty publications – ie all of the above – the main candidates were Fidel Castro, Che Guevara & Bibi’s least savvy son). This would be a problem if POTSI was actually found guilty of something or other and had to go into exile because you can’t be pardoned if you aren’t guilty. As POTSI has no friends, he can’t go anywhere, except perhaps to Menahem Golan’s secret private island, win or lose, he’ll be back.

So, we’re stuck with Bibi for another four years, as there is, unfortunately, nobody else. OK, there are those 37 leading candidates; it’s actually only about a dozen as some represent more than one party: Monday Wednesday & Friday morning I’m a democrat, Tuesday & Thursday a republican & just a little religious on the Sabbath. A vote for me is worth three for him, bargain!!

So don’t expect any changes in October. Nah, you were hoping that’d be the case, that way you don’t have to embarrass yourselves at dinner parties when asked for whom you voted. Will we be living in peace after the election? No. Will the rest of the world suddenly start loving the Jews? No. Will a new POTSI change anything? No. Be like the regressive so-called democrats; go to the beach on 27th October, then spend the next four years spontaneously demonstrating every Saturday afternoon and blaming someone else for your misfortune!