Chayai Sarah: Who is Strong?

Abraham was known for his kindness; Isaac was known for his strength. One can readily see why Abraham was known for his kindness, but attributing “strength “to Isaac is mystifying. The definition of strength as explained in the Ethics of the Fathers helps to clarify. Ben Zoma in Pirkei Avot famously asks, “who is strong” and answers “he who conquers his desire.” The restraint by Isaac, even as his father was preparing to bring the blade down upon him, was a true demonstration of his ability to conquer his own desire. 

However, a Midrash in Bereshit Rabbah showcases another wonderful example of our second patriarch’s ability to conquer his desires. Before marrying Rebecca, the Torah tells us that Isaac had come from the backwaters of Beer-lahai -roi. This seems to be an extra extraneous detail, after all, why should we care where Isaac was coming from before he was to be married? The last time Beer-lahai-roi was mentioned was in regard to Hagar, who fled there with her son Ishmael, after being casted out by Abraham and Sarah. 

According to a legend, Isaac was returning from Beer-lahai -roi in order to bring Hagar, Abraham ‘s former concubine, back to remarry him. Isaac was about to move out, and was concerned that his father, now a widow and alone, would descend into a pit of loneliness. Therefore, he brought back Hagar, who the rabbis identify as Keturah, the woman Abraham marries after Sarah’s death, to remarry him in an attempt to shield his father from the pain of loneliness. This must have been a very difficult undertaking for Isaac, who was clearly the apple of his mother’s eye.  Watching another woman, the very woman who had been sent away by his mother to protect him, now assume his mother’s place and become his father’s primary wife, undoubtedly was painful. Yet, Isaac was able to overcome this emotional barrier in order to protect his father.  

Rabbi Jack Reimer relates that as a rabbi in Florida he would at times get calls from the children of his congregants asking him to intercede by stopping their parents from remarrying. The adult children would often claim that mom was remarrying a “bum” or dad was marrying a “gold digger.” However, when Rabbi Reimer spoke to his congregants, he would find that far from making a mistake in remarrying, their new partners had helped to lift them out of a pit of loneliness. He would then call back the adult children and explain to them that their parents were actually now much happier and their new partner was a blessing to them. Though this was not the message the “kids” wanted to hear, he would share with them the story of Isaac bringing back Hagar to remarry his father, pointing out that Isaac had undertaken this action despite the fact that it was extremely emotionally challenging for him to do so. 

According to the story, Isaac is the one who is able to conquer his own emotions. He is the very definition of strength. Sanhedrin89B relates that in the future before destroying his people for their sins, God will take counsel with Abraham in hopes that the patriarch will dissuade God from executing judgment against his recalcitrant seed. One would expect that Abraham, who defended Sodom and Gemorrah, would certainly jump to the aid of his own progeny. Surprisingly Abraham, instead of jumping to the defense of his descendants, will encourage God to destroy people in order to sanctify the divine name. Skipping over Isaac, due to his passive nature, God will then go to Jacob and hope that he will defend his descendants, being that our third patriarch suffered such travails with his own children. Yet, Jacob’s response will mimic Abraham’s. In the last-ditch effort to save his people from his own wrath, God will then go to Isaac. Isaac will mount a furious defense of his descendants. He will remind God that this is the very nation which stood at Sinai and declared “we will do and we will listen.” He then will go on to argue in the lawyerly fashion, that the people can’t nearly be as sinful as God makes them out to be. After all, one is not fully responsible for his or her actions until reaching 20 and the average lifespan is 70 years old. He continues arguing that out of those 50 years, people are asleep for about 25 of them, so therefore they cannot be committing sins. Therefore, of the remaining 25 approximately 12 1/2 are spent praying and eating and therefore the people cannot be committing sins while they are engaging in those activities. All that remains is 12 1/2 years of potential time to sin. Isaac will ask God to forgive the people on account that Isaac was willing to give over his own soul- a clear reference to the Akaidah.  If God will not forgive the people on his account, Isaac volunteers to suffer on their behalf, again playing off the idea of Isaac as the sacrificial lamb.

Clearly, the message of the story is that Isaac should not be viewed as a passive weak figure, but rather a strong one, who was able to rise to the occasion. Isaac’s story is a Jewish story. It’s the story of people who are continually underestimated, yet time after time, rise to the occasion and continually serve as a light onto the nations.