Cheers!

The instructions are quite clear: Thou shalt eat no leavened bread. (Deuteronomy 16:3)

To help me with this onerous task, I went to the supermarket to pick up a bottle of gin. Nothing like a glass of gin, with a generous splash of tonic, to help the rather dry matzah go down.

To my amazement, not to say horror, the gin was hidden, barred from view, out of reach. Somebody had decided that the original instructions, handed down from on high, were not good enough. Gin, which in no way resembles bread of any sort, leavened or unleavened, had been put on the list of forbidden foods.

Why do we have to put up with this nonsense? A simple instruction not to eat bread has been industrialized, turned into a major industry. Pesach has become a true feast – for the supermarkets. A piece of matzah is quite sufficient to remind me that we left Pharos’s Egypt for the Promised Land. A bottle of gin would remind me that the Children of Israel would not have had any gin as they wandered in the wilderness, it was not invented until the 13th century when it was used as a medication. Perhaps I should ask my doctor for a prescription – take three times daily?

There seems to be no confusion amongst the 28 different versions claiming to be the “bible”, from the Geneva Bible of 1587 – Thou shalt eate no leauened bread with it: but seuen dayes shalt thou eate vnleauened bread therewith, euen the bread of tribulation to the New King James Version of 1982 – You shall eat no leavened bread with it; seven days you shall eat unleavened bread with it, that is, the bread of affliction. However, none of them mention gin.

Wishing all my readers a Happy and Kosher Pesach with no tribulations or afflictions.