“Chickenshitgate” SPECIAL REPORT

“Chickenshitgate” SPECIAL REPORT. (An Obama administration insider called Bibi Netanyahu a chickenshit for not wanting to start wars). After careful thought and consultation with our “experts” in the chickenshit arena, we have narrowed the list of people who may have said this in an “off ” the record comment to a news reporter.

Likely suspects:

John Kerry when asked privately if he said it his comments (exclusive to us) I have never called Bibi Netanyahu a chicken before I called him a chickenshit”. “I know how it feels to be swift boated” so I don’t want our partner in “peace” to be “chickenshitted”. I didn’t say it because I am very busy trying to organize the boycotts of Israel through my wife at Oxfam …. Oooops, sorry I am starting to sound like Joe Biden.

Joe Biden: Don’t think so because he never says anything privately, you can count on that.

Biden quotes:

“I promise you, the president has a big stick. I promise you.” –Joe Biden, citing Theodore Roosevelt’s famous quote, “Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far.” (April 26, 2012)
“If we do everything right, if we do it with absolute certainty, there’s still a 30% chance we’re going to get it wrong.” –
“I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy. I mean, that’s a storybook, man.” –Joe Biden, referring to Barack Obama at the beginning of the 2008 Democratic primary campaign, Jan. 31, 2007
“You cannot go to a 7-11 or a Dunkin’ Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent…. I’m not joking.”

Chuck Hagel:
We don’t think that old Chuckie said this because he doesn’t want to rile up the Jewish lobby.

Samantha Powers:
She may in fact be the one since she showed that she is not a chickenshit when she almost singlehandedly started a war in Libya by ousting a neutered, controlled Moamar Gadhafi. This has potential. Samantha who has never exactly been a fan of Israel is a good suspect here. It is ironic that a person with that name would be so … power hungry.
Barack Obama: Naaaaah, he is actually a chickenshit and wouldn’t say it.

Valerie Jarret: The real President. She has potential let’s think about this one and get back to you.

The most likely suspect in our expert chickenshit opinion is …..

Susan Rice: When asked about this Susan said that this was all due to a very harsh internet video blaming chickens for the world’s problem.
With Susan’s outstanding sense of truth, justice and the American way we believe that it was some combination of Susan Rice, and someone else. After all when you think about it.

Chickenshit really does go with Rice ….

Your friend Larry