Choose your perspective and change your reality

My oldest son is in a boarding school up north for the week,  and he comes home for Shabbat. I am so proud of him, not only is he learning a new language and rooming with kids from all over the world. He is also working on the Meshek in the village, a farm with goats and produce, making some shekels and making everyone shuk shuka and fresh pita. Did I mention that he milks the goats? Since it is an international school, the students are from western and eastern Europe, mostly France and Russian speaking countries, as well as Ethiopian and a few English speaking kids. The goal in the first year of high school is Ulpan, and everyone is at different levels. Can you imagine being taught a new language by a teacher that only speaks another language that you do not understand? I told my kids, give us all two years, and we will catch the Hebrew, especially since we all went to Jewish schools, know how to read and write, and have heard it all the time in our Israeli community in Los Angeles.

Because everyone is in a different level of the language, the school tries to customize for each student, and sometimes moves classes, teachers and levels to find the right fit. Since the beginning of the year, the day my son worked in the Meshek was Tuesdays, and we were always excited for the fresh from the ground produce that he would bring for Shabbat. Just this month, they switched his Ulpan to Tuesday, and instead his Meshek day would be Wednesdays. He called me yesterday so frustrated, because this Tuesday will be the harvest at the Meshek, and not only did he want to help, but he has made such good friends there. They go hiking together, and enjoy cooking together for celebrations.

My whole family are realists. They see what can go wrong, are not sure if something will work out, and I am the only one that knows that I can at least try and ask. It is not easy maneuvering this reality. Some people would call it negative, but it is not a pessimistic view, maybe it is an old world view of our ancestors that suffered hardships.

I Thank God Every Day! I am like my mother, and we choose to always think positive, on the side of hope, and see what happens. For me personally, to worry and be negative is a waste of energy, I stay in my happy bubble, deal with life, and climb right back in. We honestly do not know what the results and future will be, especially if we do not try. Another amazing trait of my mother is that we are not stuck on holidays, phone calls, or demands for each other’s time. We know that we are there for each other, and will move mountains if needed. Otherwise we are all busy with our lives and that is a good thing. I think we should celebrate mother’s every day, but I called with our time difference to wish her a Happy Mother’s Day. Even though she is happy, and celebrating with my brother and family and knows we are literally in a different world, and would not care. She deserves to be celebrated and honored, because she is really one of a kind, and I would not be who I am without her influence, energy and love in my life.

So back to my son, I told him I could try to see if I can ask for the teacher to allow him to miss Ulpan to help with the harvest. My son said it will not work, and it is no use to try. Luckily I have a magical person that is one of his counselors, and she speaks good English and since the beginning of school has been directing me to the right people to talk to to get things done. I voice messaged her, she gave me the contact of the Ulpan, I asked, and he said no problem. I thanked him and let him know that I am grateful, and my son will be so happy. I got a call before I went to bed last night, wishing me a Happy Mother’s Day, and telling me that appreciates me in his life for everything I do. That is one of my love languages, words of appreciation and I also crave acts of service, especially when someone cooks for me or treats me to a meal.

My personal philosophy is about care of self and love of self. It is not selfish, it is self care. If you do not take care of yourself, who will do it for you. Always check in, always replenish and recharge, so you can be there for everything and everything in your life. I always say that I come first, then my husband and only after that my children. It is the only way I know how to operate, stay sane, and live my purpose fully in this world. It has nothing to do with Ego, it is all about me in a good way. So I could be my best, at my best.

The picture above is from a book called The Wealthy Spirit by Chellie Campbell. I will write it out fully below, so you can see it clearly and enjoy the daily lesson. It is meant to be read in one year, there are 365 pages. We have chosen to open in mostly on Shabbat, and sometimes we are busy with celebrating life or sleeping, and get back to it when inspiration strikes, We have had the book for a few years, thanks to Doda Mollie, and are on page 198.

YOU HAVE THE POWER TO CHOOSE WHAT YOU BELIEVE, CHANGE YOUR PERSPECTIVE, AND BE A COCREATOR OF YOUR LIFE AND REALITY.

“One lazy Sunday afternoon, I opened up my keepsake trunk and pulled out some of my old scrapbooks. Nostalgically, I reminisced over pictures of high school dances, dried flowers, from the corsage I wore at the cotillion, drama reviews of plays performed, bits of cheerleading pompon, I remember the hopes and dreams of the girl I was then and the fun I had dancing through the days dappled with sunlight and shadows.

The phone rang, bringing me back to current reality. It was my friend Carol. when she asked me what I’d been doing, I told her I had been having fun looking through my “remembrances of things past.”

“Ugh,” Carol exclaimed. “I hate to do that”

“You do”? I asked. “Why?”

“Because it reminds me how fast life is passing and how much time has gone already. I’m getting older and there’s a shorter and shorter length of time left to live.”

“Well, of course, that’s true. but then there’s the next life to look forward to!”

“No, I don’t believe in that,” said Carol. “There’s only one life and this is it. I’m an atheist. When you die there’s nothing.”

“Oh, I can see why that would make you feel bad. it must be scary, too,” I commiserated.

Carol agreed that it was very scary–and depressing.

“Well then, Carol,” I said, “I think you should change your beliefs. we are both experiencing the passing of time, but I’m happy about it and you’re miserable.

“But I believe what I believe!” she protested, “I can’t just change my beliefs!”

“Sure you can,” I replied. “Look at it logically: if you are right, when I die–I won’t know. There’ll just be nothing. But I’ll live this whole life happily, thinking my beliefs are true. Your belief, on the other hand, makes you miserable. And if I’m right, and there’s a life on the other side of this one, you’re going to be very surprised. And you would have been unhappy all this time for no reason. So the smart choice is to choose a belief that makes you happy to believe it right now!”

Not sure she got it. do you? Re-examine all your beliefs right now. What limiting beliefs do you have–about anything–what makes you miserable? Find evidence to believe things that make you happy instead. You can believe that “the world is a terrible place” and prove it by example/ But I can say “the world is a beautiful place” and prove it just as easily. For which belief do you want to gather proof? Do you want to think positive or not?