Chukat Balak: The Apple and the Parshah

Part 1: The Apple and the Parshah

Ever hear of the fruit tree? It’s an amazing invention, isn’t it?

I’m sitting here trying to get myself into a topic to speak about, and as I ponder the first words and find myself stuck, I pick up an apple and choose to ponder about it. I focus my thought to find a connection between it and the Parsha, and there it goes. Read on to find out what I pondered, as I am writing it directly from my thoughts. This is not me reviewing an old thought. The words you are reading are directly at the pace and the sequence that I’m thinking of while in front of the screen.

I’m just being an observer of the thoughts I’m having and slowing them down enough to be able to command my fingers to write them down here. This is simply the intention behind my action. It becomes a little annoying for those who aren’t accustomed to deep thought. It shakes them up when they need to observe something for a while. This is the act of listening while observing, and listening requires focus. Focus requires discipline, and of course discipline needs a direction to follow. Otherwise, for what cause would it be needed? This following act must have a way to get to it, and that vehicle, to get to it and attain it, is the body.

I’m not telling secrets here. This is simple and basic human knowledge that you simply missed its knowledge. You see, the way wisdom works is like this: During the stages of pregnancy, the Angel from heaven, the one that sat with you under a red blanketed sky, learned with you. You were so deep in the light, you knew it all. It is like a download from the computer to the chip. You are gaining access to mega tons of knowledge. You live in the spiritual realms, due to the fact that “Wherever your thoughts are, there you are!” You lived in the purest of lights, and were embedded with the light of the faith that Avraham Avinu our dear and great father cleaved to. You are being drawn to be part of his lineage and for this alone you merit the knowledge of the universe.

Unlike those from other faiths, they aren’t lucky enough to have parents teaching them right from wrong. Within one generation their legacies fall apart. They are mirrors to our souls so that we can remember the other side. There is hope for them though, conversion. We are a family spanning for generations, since we grew up in the house of one father. We have no problem inviting you to the party, but first you have to be fascinated by us. Now, with this fascination, this body can have a direction to follow, and a discipline to acquire. A discipline that will choose to be focused and fixated to listen and observe the Holy Jewish nation! Actually they will be our teachers like Onkelos. What a regal name to say, On-Ke-Lus.”

מלשון להלל ו”לקלס ה’ אחד.”

The more you learn of wisdom, the more Jewish you become. Just as you are taught knowledge by your father and mother in real life, with Chochmah and Binah that lead you in a specific direction, so too will you be taught to see Hashem through the thoughts of the spiritual Father and Mother.

You know, we grow up and see the world in different ways. Each kid grows up in a family with parents who either have a financial situation going on, or a sadness among them. Some will experience illness and some richness. Each kid to their own life, and as they live they become products of their environment. Their outlook is different from the rest of the world around them. They actually feel very alone in their respective situations. This is how and who we are as humans. We are literally seeing only out of our eyes in the flesh, and barely make an effort to soar with the eye of the mind.

This ability to see beyond the surface is a teaching us Yidden have for generations. The Gemara was written in exactly this format. With fascination you can use your body to achieve this, by using the allotted amount of energy you were given and charged up with as you sat with the Malach. 

Some kids are born early, some late. We should keep an eye and observe this phenomenon. Observing the growth of children based on their time of pregnancy is interesting. Like the Gemara Baba Batra 20a says, a baby born in the 8th month can’t live and is like a rock. Maybe that’s because it hasn’t been given the crucial knowledge needed to live. The parents will need more Zechuyot in their life in order to get their child to be filled with the full knowledge. So do more good for others and gain Zechuyot. If you, the actual and physical parents, are determined to be holy Jews, you allow the spiritual cord to connect directly to Sarah!

I hope you’re having fun meanwhile.

So when we need to access a certain pathway in thought, be it in finance or with personal relationships, with fascination you will have the clarity to focus and zoom into that area of wisdom. The energy that our bodies are keeping inside are flames of fire that seeped into the true heart of the physical baby as it was feeding knowledge from the Father and Mother, Avraham and Sarah. We are a spark, just a spark, and look how much knowledge we can find and attain through a candle with a tiny flickering spark.

“It is the energy that we put into life that makes us see life better.” People think that changing energies is a mystical or prophetic concept. It is the art of deep focus in observance. Seeing and observing with the eye, and observing in the flesh with the body’s action. Which is driven by the spark, the energy you run with.

The world that you see in front of you right now is exactly what it is. Each person through their own lens will tell themselves with certainty that what they see in front of them is factually true. This is Daat, “I know!” “I know this to be real because others agree with me! It has to be real because I saw it with my own eyes! I know because… because I told myself that this is real.” I am not saying that you should disavow the physical fact before you. To the contrary, use it well, since this earth is the place that you were placed in to take your spark across all areas of thought and implement them into action. People ask, “How can it be that people in the past seemed to get more done?” I don’t know if they did or didn’t. All I know is that the more enthusiastic you are toward a project the better the outcome will be. So get yourself involved in a project, open a book, find interest in creating a family, choose any area in life that you were always curious about, and be passionate to find out more.

All areas of thought are inside of you. You just have to access them. Become excited by bringing excitement into your life. This excitement will help you finish what you started and bring you even more joy. People think to say that “Life is a roller coaster. You will always have problems to deal with and things to solve.” It is true. It must be a story line that we’re on and we must embrace the ride and find joy in it. I know that it is easier to Kvetch, and how comfortable it is to have zero responsibilities. But zero responsibilities is the trade off for a life without meaning. This is the definition of Meaning. You טייטש every situation. The question is now, “What topic are you meaning to look at?” Ask yourself “וואס מיינט עס?” and bring meaning to it!

Think of yourself outside of yourself. You’re sitting here reading these words, but don’t pick up your fleshy eyes. Outside of your focus zone you will see your figure standing there looking at you. Now you switch your camera lens and see yourself as the figure looking at yourself reading this. Now you have successfully entered the chambers of the inner eye.

Without belief, this doesn’t work. If you don’t believe that there is a figure standing next to you and that you can suddenly change your point of view to see yourself from the outside, as if you are another person looking at yourself right now, this won’t work. If you don’t believe, the only thing I can do for you is help you find belief.

So yeah you want belief? Let’s find it with “The apple and the Parsha” we mentioned all the way up there two pages ago, as the subtitle. I didn’t forget about them. We’ll use the same format we just learned. Use our energy to find purpose in our life, by being excited to add meaning to everything. Run and do as much as we can each day, and people will call us super heroes! Who cares if people see us? Let them learn and grow along. Let everybody rise! Rise in the mind! 

Rise in Belief!

You must believe that you can become that super hero. You can’t tell yourself sad things that cause you to invest your energy in worthless darkness. Stop crouching and sit up, get up and move. Why? Because you can! You can do it and nothing will stop you. You know that you believe. It becomes a fact in your life just as strong as the lightpole feels when you run into it.

I can try to teach you belief, but you must believe! This is what Father AVraham אברהם taught us, “You must believe to believe!” Once you believe enough we can work together to make it a factual reality. Those stories that kept happening, those problems you thought to say that they will never go away, they don’t go away the way you thought they would, they remain but instead become stories of triumph you tell yourself. You become a new person because you’re telling yourself nice stories.

The Brachah ולמלשינים was not originally in Shemonah Esrei. It was later added as the Jews were wealthy again in the times of Rabbi Yehuda Hanasi. It’s a natural occurrence that a leader rises the entire family in belief. He causes wealth among the land as each person lives with good stories each day. Imagine the entire nation talking to themselves like the pauper on the street in their misery, but in the opposite manner. Every one of us walks around talking to ourselves as we tell ourselves beautiful stories each day! It becomes the fact of life and we teach it to our children and theirs to theirs, so that all children of Avraham, Yitzchak, and Yaakov will live in abundance and happiness all day long.

It becomes a factual fact, tapped into the fabric of reality itself. You can see streets with smiling people with their heads out of their phones. People interested solely in producing as much as possible. Not because we want to get rich, because we want everyone to have! This is a reality I have been wishing to see for a very long time now. I Daven ותחזינה may I one day merit to see it.

But as a result of those good times come hard times. People become complacent in their fortunate lives and relax their vigor and enemies, from within as much as without, rise up with envy. Velamalshinim is an emotional prayer. The language approved in it is so delicate. Te’akeir, Teshaber, Temager, Techali’eim, Tashpilaim, Tachni’eim. Those are mighty strong and personal words. We ask for six specific punishments. It seems petty doesn’t it? It is a very emotional topic when we have people standing in our way to achieve our beliefs. We so dearly wish to make them a reality but we keep getting pushed back. 

This Bracha describes the request to fight battles, not as the fleshy battles on the fields of history, but the thought process of the Jew. Those are people envious of our faith and belief which brings us so much happiness. Anti-Semitism is irrational, as long as we don’t understand it. Yes, it can be explained. It is not חוק הוא בידוע עשו שונא ליעקב. It is, הלכה הוא בידוע… which literally means going in knowledge, all we have to do is הלכה and it will be known. We have to go and take on the world with an exciting energy, focused on living the best life possible. Once we do that and move ourselves in that direction, it will automatically become עשו שונא ליעקב.

We have to climb our ranks and keep climbing. We have to teach our generations proudly to extend this faith. So that after a short generation, so many more in number will walk in the light of Hashem and the world will change. First our hearts and homes, hometowns, cities, states and countries. It is when we do this that they start fighting us, and their biggest infiltration into our camp is that they corrupted our eyes.

The way to start walking in a state of belief is by cleaning up the fleshy eye by desiring to see only good things. First let’s stop feeding it bad, actively. We will work on creating boundaries that will protect our bubbles and environments so that we can remain happy and healthy all the time. We will forgive others, open our hearts to be givers instead of crouching takers. This becomes our environment. I am not forcing you to change, but you might want to give it a try.

This is a seed of thought. Reading this has opened up your eyes for a short while and will start taking effect in your future. All because you decided to observe these words. Observe them with your eyes first and then observe them in action. This is called knowledge, and we feed off the tree of knowledge. This is the first food eaten in the world, which means that the knowledge of this tree is our full perspective of the Garden of Eden and the world. Those trees are like choosing different levels in a game. We are playing the game of Eitz Hadaat.

The earth didn’t release its taste into the tree because we would not be able to withstand the taste. All it gave us was the tiny sparks of its creation. Much like a child with his belief seeping into the body through the merits of the parents, so too the tree only receives its fruit through Zechuyot. Trees and plants run their lives similar to ours. Only the adaptable can survive in the dry lands. Some areas were blessed with tremendous wealth, where people were able to tend to them and give them a shot at a real life. Like the vine of grapes, if left unchecked, becomes a wild vine with devastating poisonous cherries.

Us having the taste of the trees and the complete knowledge that is fed to it through the earth, will have us tremble in fear at the sheer vastness that fills eternities. We have the concept of knowledge and the choice to pick our area of knowledge we wish to find meaning in. we have the ability to ask, “What does this mean?” Our physical bodies aren’t given the full amount of belief that leaves us with no choice, we are given just enough to build on its foundation. We aren’t nourished with the full taste, only a spark of it.

Chukat and Balak, both have a connection to the thoughts of the apple. Chukas means “law.” Law is something that should be observed. And Bilaam, he came to see Hashem in a greater fashion than Avraham. Rashi Bamidbar 21:22 clearly states, “Bilaam buckled his donkey” to take on Avraham himself. We were given wisdom and that’s beautiful, but we must be grateful that we were also granted the idea of faith. And not just the faith someone has in the chair holding them up, but in the greatest faiths of all, the light that never ends, the One and only Hashem, Creator of heaven and earth!

Part 2: Bilaam’s story

Bilaam’s story is one of great magnitude. First of all, “How do we know what conspired? Were it not for Hashem revealing it all to Moshe we would never know (Baba Batra 14b)!” But his personal story is one we must note.

Bilaam, the Gemara in Sanhedrin 105a states that he was the son of Lavan. He grew up with trickery, sorcery, and a lot of spirituality. Not the spirituality we know as humble Jews, only spirituality as the concept of seeing the world from the eyes of the Creator. He knew what was real and what wasn’t, but albeit, never raised himself to the level that is asked of someone who possesses the knowledge of Hashem (Bamidbar 24:16).

The Torah introduces him as a wise practitioner that everyone would send their queries, questions, and requests for guidance (Rashi 22:5). He saw much success, as evident by the fact that the king, Balak, sent for him.

The story that unfolds in our Parshah is not one of simple people, sergeants and ministers who came and a donkey that spoke, it is a clear parable to the way Hashem works and designs the happenings of every single individual with their struggle against earthly temptation.

The ministers arrive: This is when he is seduced for the first time. His esteem rises to levels never imagined before. And even if he did foresee this occurrence, he waited for it painstakingly. But just like any first attempt, he withholds himself and remains true to his ‘professional’ values. Hashem makes it clear to him not to go. 

This is exactly how it is when we are faced with a challenge. The first seduction is usually pushed away as we still hold our values strong. We actually hear Hashem speak within us, telling us to run away!

But then the second round comes up. The Yetzer doesn’t stop. A new batch of ministers arrive, stronger, greater and wiser than the first. They carry magic, and not just simple stage-magic, they are carrying prophecies of future fortunes in their spirits. The test that was presented to him in the first place pales in respect to this new glorious image. He is swayed by their depth of knowledge and ‘spirituality’ and instead of sticking to his previous answer and shutting the door as they leave, he allows them in and asks them to wait around.

His temptation rose to a level unseen before and he truly wished to go. The Gemara in Makkos 10b states, “In the way man wishes to walk there he will be led.” This happens to us all when we don’t close the doors of access to our bad habits, temptations, and addictions. 

Pay attention because this story becomes intense.

Hashem leaves the door open for such people, but will now enforce the next stage in the plan. This step is called, wake up calls. As we said earlier, Bilaam was deeply determined to rise above Avaraham Avinu. He figured that he can level himself up in faith in Hashem, so that he would merit a nation and rip away the legacy of our forefathers. Rashi 22:21 notes that Hashem told Bilaam, “Rasha, their father already preceded you!” So to say, “Bilaam, you are trying to put your faith into action by saddling your donkey? Avraham did this exact deed of harnessing his animal as he went to sacrifice (Bereishit 22:2) his son, his only, his love, Yitzchak!” Saddling a donkey is part of a bigger action, this alone comes nowhere near to those Greats you are up against.

As he sets out on his way the mechanism of ‘wake-up’ calls starts churning. The Malach dresses as a person with a sword, standing in the middle of the way, but is concealed to the eyes of Bilaam. This path they are on is wide and still leaves him with the opportunity for choice. He can turn right or left, he can change his mind and take the sign of his donkey to heart, but instead he whacks it mercilessly.

This is akin to our initial heartbeats that speak to us softly as we walk in the ways of the wicked (Tehillim 1:1). We feel the pinch in our hearts, and sometimes we even get clear messages in the universe as our phones stop working or our cars don’t ignite. We can take them to heart but in so many unfortunate cases we ignore the message and try again. We hit our donkey hard, our donkey being our body, and load it with sin that if only we could fathom its future weight we would run away like a Meshugana!

The second wake up call came at a narrower intersection. He is getting close to committing the wrong thing and left himself little choice to turn back around. It is still wide enough to reverse course but as the Angel shows up the donkey pushes himself toward the wall and squeezes Bilaam’s foot against it. This is a physical wake up call, although he cannot see the Malach standing there as a human with a sword, he gets an even louder message that should wake him up from the nonsense he is about to perform. But instead he whacks the donkey again.

How many times has this happened to us? How many times have we felt physical sensation telling us to stop doing specific acts? Our bodies can only carry so much, and if we don’t wake up from the inside we will be forced to wake up from the outside. A car accident, a medical scare, a financial glitch, a relationship that ends. These are real life consequences that we can surely find the message in, but for far too long we’ve hit the snooze button and drifted right back to sleep.

The third time is when he is almost there. The messages until now weren’t enough to snap him out of his doomed hatred against the Yidden. His ego was so large, all he can think about is having Balak on his review page. He is on a narrow space, there is no space left for choice, as the Pasuk (22:26) tells us, “There was no way to turn right or left.” This should’ve been the clearest message of all. You see that there is no other reason for the car to break down, and there is no rational logic to apply in this situation. What would you do on the way to doing something bad and this happens? Would you hit the donkey? Bilaam did.

The dialogue between the Malach, Donkey, and Bilaam (hierarchy order) takes place. This is a natural progression as well. Have you ever heard of the concept, “He had to psyche himself up!”? This is the final straw. He is clearly told not to go ahead with his plans. He is already in the mouth of the beast, but he is greeted by a friendly face that warns him to do his business and get out!

We have found ourselves in those situations as well. We’ve been in the company of the wicked, be it in groups of gossip or be it in such dirty places that even mentioning them would be sinful. We see our faith flash before us as we try to conceal it from the others, we try so desperately to blend in so that we aren’t recognized for who we truly are. Oh, how sad that reality is. I pray not to be tested again.

Part 3: Bilaam Powers

Bilaam is now in his element, he meets the king, Balak, as his entire life’s work reaches its peak. The Gemara in Sota 11a teaches that Bilaam was one of the three who sat at Pharaoh’s table as he planned the wicked extermination and slavery of the Yidden. He once had a seat at the king’s palace, why then did he need the riches Balak had offered him?

The hatred he had toward the Yidden was so deeply rooted in him that he finally had another opportunity to vanquish them for good. He spent his days rising in the levels of ‘spirituality’ in order to topple the holy nation of ours that is steeped in true spirituality. He acquired levels unknown to man, he flew on earth just by the thoughts of his own mind as Targun Yonatan so eloquently describes in 31:8. No physical boundaries were able to keep him in place. So if this is the case what physical element kept him rooted into the ground? The hatred he had toward the Yidden.

We can seemingly fly in our successes in life, but for some reason we end up getting snagged along the way. There are certain elements that hold us back from achieving our greatest goals even as we have the perfect plans and even the best intentions at our side. People think that those stories of people forgiving their old classmates was the reason for them having a baby or changing the course of their life. The truth is, the act alone is noble and praiseworthy, but the real thing that happens is that we allow ourselves to release a burden from our souls. It is as though we are drowning beneath water while our bodies are tied down with bricks, and we need to remove as much weight in order to float up again. If we don’t release those parts we end up being dragged down to the abyss and have a very difficult time climbing our way to the top. Bilaam flew high but was chained down to earth with hatred.

23:3 “And he went ‘Shefi’:” What does this mean? Rashi notes the Onkelus as “Single.” He walked alone to be in a quiet zone so that he could focus on hearing the word of Hashem. The word Shefi in literal terms means ‘clarity’, as we see in Gemara Gittin 23a, “The messenger went crazy and afterwards found clarity.” In Hebrew the word שפוי would describe a man with common sense. What makes one a person of common sense? The ability to think clearly.

This tool is not too hard to achieve as we spoke about above. Just a little quiet, focus, and determination allows you to hear the most inner parts of your being, your soul and even Hashem. Kol Demama Daka! This is where Bilaam went in his mind. He allowed his mind to focus. What did he focus on? An apple like me? No, he focused on the Yidden. He allowed the presence of the holy nation to be his inspiration.

24:3 “Witness is the man ‘Shetum HaAyin’.” Rashi notes that his eye was a crevice and the hole looked like it was open. This imagery depicts a man that has flipped his entire eye inward, so instead of seeing the fleshy word outside, he was able to read his thoughts with clarity through his eye. His retina was inverted to shine inward in the pathways of thought rather than our regular human experience where we see only outwardly to the physical world. Rashi notes that the words שתם העין is translated by Onkelus as שפיר חזי, “The one who sees well!” So too does this word describe the concept of משתומם which is “to wonder.”

This ability is not a secret. Look at a Tzaddik’s eyes and watch them flicker as he is transfixed in thought. We call this עליית נשמה but in essence all that is being done is carrying a high and holy thought and nothing else along with it. “There is nothing else more important that what I’m doing right now,” is the attitude one must have in order to soar in those higher plains. But besides fascination there is more, we need humility to carry us up to the greatest realms of all. Just look at what happened to ‘Acher’ in Chagigah 14b as he tried entering that realm.

Bilaam was no regular fool, he was the greatest one of all. He had every proof that Hashem existed. He was being communicated with at every step of his life, and still, his hatred caused him his life!

May we be connected to Hashem and see Him from our very own levels, and hear His call just as He hears ours when we call to Him!

Shabbat Shalom!

David Lemmer

LemmerHypnotherapy.com