Dads…will be dads…
The world is spinning – and so are our perceptions of boys and girls, men and women, dads and moms.
Roles are expanding, or changing, choices proliferating, lives getting busier and fuller, and kids, and parents, thriving even as they work hard to keep pace.
So with Mother’s Day just past, and Father’s Day just ahead, I’m thinking about dads, mine, my kids, my grands.
And about what it means to be a dad, a mom.
And how even – or especially – in changing times, we need both.
From the very beginning, with sperm and egg, just a blip on a screen, then a tiny embryo, until the arrival of a precious new little one, created from those two bits of matter.
That flourishes into becoming a new little human, with parents to help ease the way.
And the roles that we played.
Stay at home moms,
dads at work.
Each with our own places,
but raising our kids together.
Then, and now.
Stay at home dads and working moms,
Full time or part time,
having choices, and making them,
switching roles or sharing them.
Juggling responsibilities
and the joys and oys
as that new little one
thrives and grows.
Crawls, then walks,
babbles, then talks.
And the parents marvel,
as the grandparents kvell.
Mothers and fathers,
in a changing world.
Protecting, nurturing, loving, applauding the first steps, and wiping away the tears from scraped knees, stumbled missteps.
Providing security and stability, bills paid, a roof overhead, clean clothes in the bureau, a full fridge in the kitchen, lunches packed, dinner on the table.
Gently teaching, modeling, guiding, instilling behaviors and beliefs, values and virtues.
And how they do it together.
Juggling work and family, making office deadlines and dinner, covering early morning phone calls and car pools.
Hectic lives, but for so many, more fulfilling, or necessary, despite how crazy it can be.
Things have changed since I grew up, since my husband and I raised our kids.
But in many ways they stay the same.
The stability of family we took for granted.
The steady presence of our moms and dads.
And the roles they take on now, fulltime or part time, playing to their schedules as well as their strengths, their kids wants and needs.
And the memories flow.
Of the dads in my life.
And the things they did, or do, as dads.
Endlessly pitching soft balls in the front yard.
Rushing home to coach a girls’ ball game.
Beaming proudly at an awards ceremony, a school play, a concert.
Teaching a kid how to dive, to oil a mitt, to light a fire,
to make bread, ride a two wheeler, pitch a tent, drive stick shift.
Building a tree house, trimming the bushes, unclogging a drain.
Counseling on college picks or summer internships or first loves.
Advising on a lease, buying a car, taking a new job, getting married.
Things change.
But some things stay the same.
Dads, there when you need and want them, if you are lucky.
‘Cause dads will be dads.
Just as moms will be moms.
And how very lucky we are to have ‘em both.
