Wow, here I am sitting at the Central Bus Station in J-town wondering what 2017 is going to be like. I feel awake and refreshed and no its not because it is 6 a.m. It’s almost like the heaviness of 2016 has been lifted off of my כתפיים (shoulders).
Heaviness, yeah I said it and even though I’m not quite sure if heaviness is even a real word, I will use it anyway because it just sounds appropriate.
I had so much to talk about in 2016, but what I find to be a little insane is as I got closer to the year closing, I was blocked in how I would express myself to all of you ( yes, all 5 of my blog readers including my mom).
Writing an article by the way and not being able to finish, is literally like having sex with no orgasm, it’s just not nice (לא בסדר) and super frustrating.
As I type, I have four orgasms, er, I mean articles just waiting to be finished. Waiting for me to put my final touch on them. Waiting for me to make them fun and exciting like my day to day experiences. The articles are patiently waiting for me to make my words come alive so that you can feel what I feel when I wake up everyday. The feeling of peace and purpose in an imperfect world.
They will have to wait a bit longer. I have decided that I’m going to leave them in the draft bin. Why, I have no idea. I just can’t bring myself to finish them, so for now, I will just share a a quick recap.
I got off the plane with what I thought was a plan but as I type this right now, I realize I had no plan at all.
2016 has seen me on the beach getting some sun and attracting stalkers with my famous down dog. It has seen me explore small parts of this beautiful country that I now call home. 2016 has carried me through good sex and bad sex (damn you Tinder). 2016 has seen me loose my backpack and my luggage only to reclaim it like I never lost it. 2016 has seen me cry for the American people and lose all hope with the most ignorant election that I have ever seen in my 43 years (hey politics ain’t my thing but I know foul when I see it). 2016 has seen me look for a new job and secure one in my field at an amazing salon (I’m a bottom bitch but not for long). 2016 has seen me homeless. I’m talking sleep in a hotel bathroom homeless. Yes, fucking homeless. As I type this, I am בלי (without) a solid place to live. Don’t feel sorry for me because I swear that I have to be the most glamorous homeless person on the planet ever thanks to some amazing friends with some amazing homes.
I am getting back to the basics and putting my focus on my health and into building my life here in Israel. There will be so many experiences for me and I am ready for them all. I am grateful that GD has given me the best gift one can have and thats the ability to follow my heart and do what feels right. The rest of the rules and labels and pressure that we apply on ourselves, I left in 2016.
I know that Hashem got me home but now it is up to me to fight and stay and damnit I am prepared to do just that. I came to Israel to live, to reclaim any bit of sexy that a battle with
cancer took away.
Today is January 1, 2017 and life begins now.