I just wanted to clarify a few things for you about myself. Seems you’re having trouble with open-mindedness and respect, and appreciating those who are different from you. I don’t intend to re-educate you, but in case you noticed that I’m here, and were wondering what my deal is, here goes:
I don’t fit in– I can’t be defined; I’m just Esther. My family and friends are from all over the world. I have friends who are tomboys and girly-girls, friends who are Chasidic, and those who were jeans, and I love them all. I’m not Israeli enough for natives, and am too Israeli for my loved ones outside Israel. I’m not “Charedi”, I’m not “American”, I’m not “Dati-Leumi”. I went to Bais Yaakov and I’m proud, but I also wouldn’t consider myself a model student. I’m super tough, but super sensitive, I like to work hard and play hard.
I don’t iron or sew– Mothering is my top priority, but there are some things I’m not going to do. I don’t buy adorable clothes for my kids or make sure their faces are always clean or their hair is in place. I make sure my kids are happy and healthy. I make sure my kids are down to earth, polite, and are knowledgeable about the world. I don’t do the dishes in my sink every night, and I don’t dress my kids in little animal costumes for Purim (I usually come up with a theme related to current events, such as social protests or French activists). I want myself and my family to share experiences and learn things–even if that means going to sleep late sometimes or delaying changing a diaper.
My meals aren’t extravagant or all-natural but they darn well taste good, and include something from each food group. I don’t have special talents of how to clean counters, wash laundry, or ice cakes…and I truly don’t care. I’d rather be reading about North Korea or relaxing in the sun.
I’m not good at small talk– I’m much better at talking to myself….not in a psychopathic way, but I often express my thoughts out loud, especially if I need to concentrate or process. I prefer deep, personal conversations, discussing theories, and arguing ideas that have no resolution. I love planning my schedule for the week or month, and looking forward to my next awesome vacation. I say what I mean, and I mean what I say.
I haven’t seen Star Wars or Lord of the Rings, and I’m okay. I don’t know how to have a casual friend. Someone is either my friend or someone I run into at the park. But if you’re in my life, I’ve got your back, and there’s no arguing. I don’t drink or smoke and I never have or will.
Finally, I don’t need you– I have people in my life who love, support, and respect me. These people may not “fit in” either, but they are all incredible people who have been by my side, and are proud of who I am and what I do, even if they are thousands of miles away from me. What I’ve found is that I don’t want the majority of people to like me; I want to find popularity among the special minority in the world. Aren’t the geeks taking over anyway?