Deploring Lashon Hara (derogatory talk about others)

My choosing the above title is not because the act of engaging in lashon hara is sinful. As a sinner too, I certainly have no right or willingness to judge or assess the conduct of others as sinful. Doing so would be laughable.

And I don’t speak here about derogatory talk focused against the likes of, for example, Donald Trump, Pam Bondi, Hunter Biden or Gavin Newsom. Or those in the orbit of Gwyneth Paltrow, Stephen Colbert or Tom Cruise. Or pointedly, because they happen to be Jewish, individuals like Chuck Schumer or George Soros. All are a public figures who have placed themselves in the public domain, fully expecting to be judged or criticized (even unfairly), and for whatever reason.

Rather, this is about the speaking ill of people who might truly warrant our disapprobation, but when we have no reason to bandy about their conduct given that there is no tangible benefit for anyone in doing so. And it’s really not about the individual who is defamed, but rather the defamer.

If one wants to challenge the allegedly wrongful behavior involved, he or she can of course directly confront the offending individually, perhaps in the hope of encouraging self-correction. But how does anyone benefit from the kind of “blabbering” when lashon hara is at play without any realistic hope or intention that it will find remediation in the issue being aired? This, especially when accomplishing a benefit is surely not the intent of the individual who gratuitously shares with others: “guess what I know”.

And, incredibly, given the religious concept implicated, one often finds this lashon hara circulated when its perpetrator may be seated in synagogue or at other events intended to celebrate an observant life. We oddly praise God and worship Him while simultaneously undermining our prayers by so dramatically straying from the “ways” He has taught us.

Again, I say this not intending to implicate the sinfulness of the conduct in question. Rather, it’s because the object of my complaint so undermines who we should be as a people. This, especially at a moment in history when we are so clearly under attack by the world at large, without that world even recognizing how assaultive we sometimes are towards our own people. How can we stand in unison with our own brothers and sisters (as we must), when we so cavalierly attack them? We speak endlessly about the mistreatment we receive as outcasts in the Diaspora, at the same time mistreating our communal siblings in nearby pews or at other intimate venues of our own community.

Readers, particularly those offended by this discussion being placed in front of them may lash out: “Who is this paradigm of proper behavior — a self-appointed inspector general of what’s right or wrong?” Still, when we abandon that diaphanous defense, perhaps we all – the author, surely included – may appeal to the better angels of our nature and self-reflect on this important issue that is ever-present.
Let’s each take a pledge!