Does Your Cover Fit the Pot? Finding My Mission and Purpose Through Hadassah

Artwork courtesy of Hadassah.

The author (left) with Lisa Roth at Pro-Israel Rally. Photo courtesy of the author.

Have you ever felt so deeply connected to someone that it seemed as though you were two parts of a single whole? My grandmother, a wellspring of wisdom in my life, often reminded me that there is a cover for every pot. Her words, steeped in the richness of experience, were a compass for me. Why wouldn’t I believe her? She had the kind of insight that only years of living can forge and I revered every bit of it. Whenever life felt overwhelming, I would recall her gentle advice, drawing from it a well of solace and clarity.

Ten years ago, when my nest became emptier, I was searching to fill the empty hole I felt. I had always had hobbies while working full time and raising a family. My plate was always full, but I knew I needed more to feel fulfilled. At that time, I had no confidence in my abilities to be a leader and had no idea what I could do.

In my search for a purposeful way to invest my time and energy, I discovered Hadassah. Founded in 1912 by Zionist pioneer Henrietta Szold, this organization emerged as an ideal fit, offering enriching opportunities in advocacy and leadership that resonated deeply with me.

A few months later, I learned about a Hadassah fellowship program that sounded interesting but I was not confident that it was for me. I didn’t think I had the necessary skills. I called a friend who is a Hadassah executive director to ask about the program and she surprised me by saying, “You absolutely are a leader, Stacey; you can do this.” Since I participated in that program in 2016, I have taken on a national advocacy position and become president of the  Hadassah Southern California (HSC) Northern Area chapter.

I often contemplate the seamless alignment between Hadassah and my aspirations. The profound sense of fulfillment and validation I have derived from my involvement in Hadassah has perfectly met my needs, affirming that Hadassah was the fitting lid for my pot of volunteering aspirations.

Hadassah is a powerful platform for women’s empowerment, actively encouraging its members to take on leadership roles and engage in advocacy that impacts health, women’s rights and broader societal issues. This empowerment is cultivated through educational programs, networking opportunities and robust support systems that enhance  confidence and skills among women.

By focusing on advancing justice and healing, Hadassah raises awareness and drives tangible changes, enabling women to initiate impactful projects locally and globally.

Last year, as Hadassah Southern California’s community outreach chair, I spearheaded a nationwide initiative titled “Antisemitism: Define It, Discuss It, Defuse It.” Though this program presented significant challenges, the unwavering support I received from Hadassah strengthened my resolve. Little did I know when the concept of this program first began taking shape that Israel would face its most brutal attack since the Holocaust on October 7.

We hosted three remarkable speakers in October 2023 in a panel called “Antisemitism: Define It, Discuss It, Defuse It” to collectively urge community members and leaders at all levels to raise their voices in solidarity against violence and to support measures that provide Israel with the necessary resources to defend and protect her citizens. Our purpose was to stand with Israel against terrorism.

Antisemitism is not just a matter of hateful rhetoric; it often manifests in violence and threats against Jewish communities worldwide. Standing with Israel in its fight against terrorism is inseparable from combating antisemitism itself. When we call on leaders to stand with Israel against terrorism, we are not only defending a nation but also protecting Jewish lives and communities that are frequently the targets of such hatred.

I am immensely proud of how well this program aligned with my values, demonstrating the enduring relevance of my grandmother’s wisdom about finding the perfect fit.

My grandmother’s simple yet profound truth came to life when I decided to sell my last house—a decision fraught with anxiety and doubt. Was I ready to draw the line in the sand and leave? Would I find the right buyer? Could I weather the storm of uncertainty? In those moments of unease, I leaned on my grandmother’s wisdom, summoning the patience to trust in the process. And just as she had promised, the perfect family came along, fitting the house as seamlessly as a lid on a pot.

Life, much like the dance of relationships, often mirrors this search for a perfect fit. I’ve been fortunate to find friends who, like well-matched lids, fit snugly into my life. We share common passions, a deep understanding and a joy in each other’s company. Each bond is unique; some resonate deeply, others spark curiosity, some require nurturing, while others click effortlessly.

But what happens when a relationship or situation that once fit perfectly begins to falter? There was a time when the lid and the pot were in perfect harmony, but, over time, the fit has loosened. Picture a lid bent from a fall—no matter how hard you try, it never quite returns to its original form. It loses its purpose, allowing the vital steam, the essence of the relationship, to escape.

What do you do with a lid that no longer seals? Holding onto it means grappling with something that no longer serves its purpose, that fails to contain the energy that once flowed so freely. The real challenge lies not just in recognizing that the fit is gone but in finding the courage to let it go. Even when the heart knows it’s time, letting go is often a bittersweet struggle—a tug-of-war between the comfort of the familiar and the promise of something new.

Letting go is never easy. It is a journey, a slow embrace of change and an opening to new possibilities. Knowing when to hold on and when to release can be the key to peace and growth, whether where to spend your free time, a house, a friendship or any relationship.

Just as every pot eventually finds its cover, every ending can lead to a new beginning. Sometimes, finding the right fit means first letting go of the one that no longer serves us. As my grandmother wisely said, there is a cover for every pot and, sometimes, finding that perfect fit requires the courage to set aside the one that no longer does.

The Hadassah Writers’ Circle is a dynamic and diverse writing group for leaders and members to express their thoughts and feelings about all the things Hadassah does to make the world a better place, to celebrate their personal Hadassah journeys and to share their Jewish values, family traditions and interpretations of Jewish texts.  Since 2019, the Hadassah Writers’ Circle has published nearly 450 columns in the Times of Israel Blog and other Jewish media outlets. Interested? Please contact hwc@hadassah.org.