Donald Trump Wants the Western Wall

To date, Donald Trump has left such a stunningly grandiose mark on America and Israel that I believe the 45th and 47th president may have something even grander in store for his many admirers, an act so bold and beautiful that it will go down as his greatest achievement; nay, the civilized world’s greatest achievement  Here it is:

PAINT THE WESTERN WALL WHITE!!!

Seriously. I mean, why not? Or, as he might say, why the F$%K not?

Mr. Trump has already demonstrated his elan with barriers. His wall-related work, according to his reckoning, has stopped the invasion of tens of millions of illegals from pouring across the US border with Mexico.  His success sending an as yet untold number of the absolute worst criminals back to where they came from, or worse places, has been stupendous. Frankly, there is nothing the man can’t do once he sets his prodigious mind to it.

Consider this. The candidate said during his first campaign for the presidency back in 2016: “I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody, and I wouldn’t lose any voters, OK?”  And his legions of devotees grew.

People heard him on tape boasting about grabbing women where he pleased, because he was so famous. And his wave of support swelled large enough to carry him all the way to the White House.

Once in office, he was impeached for abuse of power and obstruction of justice, was acquitted, and his base held firm. Then, after losing an election, he inspired an insurrection, was impeached again, and acquitted again. His base never wavered.

He was found guilty of sexual abuse and defamation of a woman he claimed he didn’t know, but his followers believed when he called the case a disgraceful witch hunt perpetrated by his enemies bent on weaponizing the justice system against him. And the people returned him to the White House for a second term.

Today, powerful and great, he has sent masked enforcers into the cities of America to drag foreign invaders from their homes and shoot radicals on the street, and his followers have applauded. He has bombed alleged drug-trafficking boats out of the ocean and invaded Venezuela to arrest its leader Nicolás Maduro on drug-trafficking charges and has received the Nobel Peace Prize from Maduro’s opposition leader for his efforts.

He has become the first living president to have a coin struck with his face on it. He has taken upon himself to bulldoze the White House’s East Wing to create a bedazzling ballroom fit for a Trump Tower.

Now he plans to erect a 250-feet high United States Triumphal Arch in Washington, DC’s Memorial Circle in celebration of the nation’s 250th anniversary.  His erection, according to veterans, will disrespect the hallowed grounds of Arlington National Cemetery, but that, according to his line of thinking, is a small price to pay for making America great again.

A recent opinion piece in The New York Times by Paul Goldberger, a former architecture critic for The Times and New Yorker Magazine, brought up the president’s desire to paint the gray granite Eisenhower Executive Office Building white to match the White House.

When Goldberger wrote that the EEOB “is arguably the greatest work of architecture of the Second Empire style left in the United States,” I springboarded off the words “greatest” and “Empire” and found my mind’s eye whisked to Jerusalem’s Old City. There it hovered, staring up at the retaining structure built by King Herod the Great more than 2,000 years ago to support the Temple Mount in Jerusalem. As America’s self-proclaimed greatest president might tell you, the Romans destroyed the Second Temple in 70 CE, leaving the Western Wall, revered by Jews as their most sacred space.

Considering himself the Lord’s anointed messenger, as well as the greatest friend of modern Israel, the chosen one who completely obliterated Iran’s nuclear facilities, it seems only fitting that the Western Wall should bear Mr. Trump’s brand. A stark white Western Wall would make a brash Trumpian aesthetic statement, while announcing to the world that Trump and the Land of Israel are one. Bound together, they represent the mountaintop, the zenith of civilization.

When the time comes for Mr. Trump to announce this monumental plan, I can imagine him channeling President Richard Nixon, who famously said about The Great Wall of China: “This is a great wall, and it had to be built by a great people.”

The history books, I posit, will record Trump’s unforgettable proclamation: “I AM A GREAT PERSON. SO IT’S UP TO ME, AS APPOINTED BY ALMIGHTY GOD, TO MAKE THE WESTERN WALL EVEN GREATER!!!”

When that time comes, people from Jerusalem and Hebron to Tulsa and Corpus Christi, will raise their voices in song, confident that God is wise, just, and righteous.