Exposure to this war’s violence is taking a toll on our kids

In recent months, I’ve been hearing more and more disturbing stories about the toll this war is taking on our young people. Parents and teachers keep approaching me with a concern that has received little attention: Incidents of violence and aggression among adolescents are on the rise.

Before the war, teenagers’ exposure to horrifying, violent imagery and to the presence of death was limited and carefully filtered. The war, however, has normalized such exposure. Graphic, brutal videos now circulate freely in Telegram groups, flow into WhatsApp, and appear unbidden in TikTok “For You” feeds.

Mainstream media may filter out the most graphic images of death, but it does not spare its audience from harrowing descriptions. Most high schoolers have attended at least one or two war-related funerals. Many know bereaved families personally, while simultaneously hearing from their older siblings about the complex and painful realities of combat.

Meanwhile, parents and educators are themselves caught up in survival mode to an unimaginable degree. They, too, have endured the trauma of October 7, the war with Iran, and everything in between. Between the demands of reserve duty, financial struggles, and a turbulent political climate, they have little time or mental capacity to monitor the content young people are consuming.

The result is a sweeping nationwide trend of escalating aggression. It is expressed not only in fights or verbal and physical violence among peers, but it also manifests in initiation rituals in youth movements and schools. These ceremonies often start with covering the person’s eyes and binding their hands with zip ties, and then escalate further. Entry into high school or a youth group may begin with such blindfolded rituals, which develop into increasingly violent forms of hazing.

The war – justified and necessary as it may be – takes an unbearable toll on us all. We are painfully aware of the devastating losses borne by bereaved families, the wounded, and the hostages. We recognize the burden on reservists’ families, empathize with a neighbor who lost his job, or with a friend going through a divorce. These, too, are the costs of protracted war.

We try to acknowledge the emotional toll on soldiers: the post-trauma, the need for processing, and the fragile balancing act of sustaining family life under these harsh realities.

We do our best to comfort the bereaved, to deliver cakes to reserve soldiers’ families for Shabbat, but, within the storm, there is a factor we are overlooking. In these terrible circumstances, our communities and our children have become more aggressive. We must not forget the children and youth. It is now our duty to turn our attention back to their needs. 

I am not naive. We had no choice in the war that was forced upon us. Security is an existential need, and we will continue to defend ourselves as long as required. But now we must focus more of our attention and resources on the education and well-being of our young people. We need to help them regulate their anger, soften the defensive shells they put up, and foster growth and partnership. This way, we will strengthen not only their resilience but also their capacity to lead our nation forward.