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Ari Sacher

‘Favorable Memories’  Yom Kippur 5785

The Mishnah in Tractate Rosh Hashanah [4:5] mandates that the Amidah in the Mussaf prayer recited on Rosh Hashanah must include three motifs: Sovereignty (Malchuyot), Memories (Zichronot) and Blasts of the Shofar (Shofarot). These three motifs correspond to three different ways in which we relate to G-d on Rosh Hashanah. Each motif includes ten relevant biblical verses and concludes with its own blessing. The motif of Zichronot begins with a preamble of how G-d remembers the actions and the thoughts of every living being since the dawn of time. He sees everything and He forgets nothing. The preamble concludes with a description of how He remembered Noah as he floated twenty-thousand feet above the surface of the earth in an ark, together with his family and a two of each animal on earth. This preamble is followed by the first of the ten biblical verses [Bereishit 8:1]: “G-d remembered Noah and all the beasts and all the cattle that were with him in the ark; G-d caused a wind to blow across the earth, and the waters subsided.” What is the Torah teaching us when it tells us that G-d “remembered” Noah? Was G-d chairing a board meeting and, noting that Noah’s seat was empty, shouted, “Where is Noah?! Why isn’t he here with the rest of the team?!” Did His secretary softly remind Him that Noah was in an ark floating somewhere over Turkey? Did He then slap Himself on His Divine Forehead and say, “I totally forgot about that!”?

Obviously, the Torah is not suggesting that G-d had forgotten about Noah and suddenly remembered him. The Radak[1] writes that there is no “remembering” as far as G-d is concerned, seeing that He could not have “forgotten” anything. The use of term “He remembered” as applying to G-d is a figure of speech, enabling the reader to employ his imagination and to realise that such wording introduces an activity by G-d which had previously remained latent. Here, it describes G-d’s concerning himself with the great discomfort experienced by the inhabitants of the ark after a long period of confinement.

Last week, I came across an explanation that opened up new line of sight. This explanation was proposed[2] by Rabbi Avraham Stav, a contemporary Israeli rabbi[3]. Rabbi Stav explains that when the Torah tells us that “G-d remembered”, it means that He thought about something in a certain context. When Noach first entered the ark, it was as a refugee. The entire world had been sentenced to destruction and Noah would remain the sole survivor. When G-d “remembers” Noah, the context has changed. The world has been destroyed and Noah must now reboot mankind. He is no longer the last vestige of what once was. He is now the first flower of a new world. G-d causes the flood waters to evaporate so that Noah can continue his mission.

Let us fold this explanation back into Zichronot. What are we asking G-d to remember? Didn’t we just say “He sees everything and He forgets nothing”? Implementing Rabbi Stav’s innovation, we are asking G-d to change the context in which He sees us. The summarizing paragraph of Zichronot begins with the words “Remember us favourably before You and be mindful of us for deliverance and compassion from the eternal high heavens”. We want G-d to remember us on our terms. We want Him to see us in the context of good people, people who might have erred but people who genuinely want to better themselves, people who deserve to be blessed with a good life. And then we want Him to act accordingly.

Only the good die young. More than seven hundred IDF soldiers have been killed in action since October 7. Afterwards, we always hear how the deceased was a one-in-a-million person. He always gave his time and his energy to help others. He was a brilliant Torah scholar. He always went the extra mile. Never does it turn out that he was a self-centred creep who stole money from the grocery store and who never helped another soul in his life. Why does G-d always take the best and the brightest? Rabbi Stav would assert that we are remembering this soldier on his terms. He is remembered not by the actions he did or did not perform but by how we choose to frame him, by how we choose to remember him. We choose to remember him favourably.

This explanation can give us an entirely new way to understand the concept of repentance (teshuva). How can a person repent? While sometimes it might possible to make amends – money can be returned and damages can be paid for – sometimes what is done is done. More often than not, a person cannot change the past. The Talmud in Tractate Hagigah [9a], in its explanation of the verse in Kohelet [1:15] “That which is crooked cannot be made straight; and that which is wanting cannot be numbered”, brings an example of a person who engaged in sexual relations with a woman forbidden to him and fathered a mamzer[4] with her. This individual is unable to rectify his sin, because the status of the illegitimate child is permanent. He can repent from now until doomsday, he can change his licentious ways and he can become a new man, and yet his child will forever remain a mamzer. What use is it if we repent?

Daniel Kahneman, the 2002 Nobel Laureate in Economics and one of the founding fathers of Behavioural Economics, speaking in 2010 in a TED talk called “The riddle of experience vs. memory”[5], explains that we have two selves: the “experiencing self” and the “remembering self”. The “experiencing self” knows only the present moment. The “remembering self” looks back and reflects on what we have experienced. It is a storyteller, taking the memories of individual moments and weaving them into a story. Kahneman explains that while we live and experience many moments, most of them are not preserved[6]. In the end, stories are all we keep from life. The stories we remember are changes, significant moments, beginnings and endings. All of the in-between is lost to time. Mundane experiences are swept away by the brain to clear room for new and potentially interesting memories. Kahneman brings the example of a dream holiday in Hawaii, full board in a five-star hotel. For two solid weeks, our holidayer lies on the beach drinking Mai Tai’s. He has never had a better time in his life. On his way home, the airline loses his luggage. According to Kahneman, when he recalls this holiday years later, after the brain has converted his experiences into a story, all his time spent on the beach will merge into one blurry memory while the loss of his luggage will remain just as vivid as on the day it happened. He will likely remember the entire trip as much more negative than it was when he experienced it. The story his “remembering self” has woven does not remember his holiday favourably.

While the past cannot be changed, the future can. The Rambam, writing in Hilchot Teshuva [2:2], rules that a critical component of teshuva is commitment for the future (kabala l’atid) in which we pledge not repeat our sinful actions. This is a challenging premise. People rarely change abruptly. Unless one undergoes a life-altering epiphany, his actions in the future will likely be similar to his actions in the past, a continuation of his current trajectory. How can he honestly commit to change his ways? The answer lies in the “remembering self”. We do not remember every sin we commit. We do remember a story, a trajectory that might have traversed some sinful areas. When we repent, we modify that story. If we remember ourselves favourably, then we can set ourselves up to succeed. Because we have the ability to change who we were, at least in our own minds, we have the same ability to change who we can be.

Ari Sacher, Moreshet, 5785

Please daven for a Refu’a Shelema for Shlomo ben Esther, Sheindel Devorah bat Rina, Esther Sharon bat Chana Raizel, and Meir ben Drora.

[1] Rabbi David Kimchi, known by his acronym “Radak”, lived in Provence at the turn of the 13th century.

[2] This is my understanding of Rabbi Stav’s words. They can be interpreted differently.

[3] Rabbi Avraham Stav is the son of Rabbi David Stav, the Chief Rabbi of the city of Shoham and the chairman of the Tzohar organization.

[4] A mamzer is a person who is born as the result of certain forbidden relationships or incest, as defined by the Torah, or is the direct descendant of such a person.

[5] https://www.ted.com/talks/daniel_kahneman_the_riddle_of_experience_vs_memory

[6] Psychologists estimate that a “moment” lasts up to 3 seconds. In a lifetime, this adds up to half a billion memories. The human brain cannot store that much memory.

About the Author
Ari Sacher is a Rocket Scientist, and has worked in the design and development of missiles for over thirty years. He has briefed hundreds of US Congressmen on Israeli Missile Defense, including three briefings on Capitol Hill at the invitation of House Majority Leader. Ari is a highly requested speaker, enabling even the layman to understand the "rocket science". Ari has also been a scholar in residence in numerous synagogues in the USA, Canada, UK, South Africa, and Australia. He is a riveting speaker, using his experience in the defense industry to explain the Torah in a way that is simultaneously enlightening and entertaining. Ari came on aliya from the USA in 1982. He studied at Yeshivat Kerem B’Yavneh, and then spent seven years studying at the Technion. Since 2000 he has published a weekly parasha shiur that is read around the world. Ari lives in Moreshet in the Western Galil along with his wife and eight children.
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