Moshe-Mordechai van Zuiden
Psychology, Medicine, Science, Politics, Oppression, Integrity, Philosophy, Jews

Feeling minus 73/10 minutes on the MM Scale

Last night, I devised a scale to express one’s feelings and mindset about them. Every time when I woke up slightly, over the night, I had more ideas about such a scale, and most of them came now, now I’m fully awake. It stays more personal because it doesn’t standardize. It gives a lot of information in a few figures and letters.

I don’t know it’s value. Only time may tell.

The MM (pronounce em-em) Scale has many more possibilities and details than just “how do you feel on a scale 0-100 if 0 is absolutely lousy and a 100 is absolutely fantastic.” First of all, it also expresses how feelings sit with you – what kind of an (un)emotional person you are.

The minus or plus sign means bad/good feelings.

The /time addition says how long you felt like this. And /now is an option.

A /o means that it’s not (only) about yourself but from an observer.

A list of these numbers gives a nice impression of their fluctuation and not only of how you feel but how you see those feelings.

Many examples come to my mind and they show best what’s emerging, I think.
I’m feeling good today. I don’t know what happened yesterday and I don’t know what will be tomorrow. I live by the day.

In numbers: plus50/24hours.

I was feeling good for the last couple of days already, really happy, when I got the bad test results that I had not expected. Not only did it hit me like a ton of bricks. It set off a cascade of doom thinking. What if I can’t compensate this? What if this will show on my final papers? As a result, I may not get the dream job that suddenly could open up. My life in ruins forever. I felt a real panic and when my friend asked how I was doing, I burst into tears. After that, I felt much calmer. Still not so happy and a bit tired and hungry but not in a panic anymore. My brains went into gear and forward. My bad test result was still not great but I could speak to the teacher to learn what happened, see if it is final, maybe I can retake the test or ask what she advises me as repair. In any case, life goes on and I’ll make the best of it.

In numbers: plus80/3days, minus250/5min, minus450/10min, plus45/now.

At the end of a nice day, our daughter got her usual spasm of laughter. I knew that after that, she usually bursts into tears and then calms down, getting very peaceful and relaxed, ready for a bottle and bed. And that’s what happened.

In numbers: plus80/12hours/o, plus150/5 min/o, minus50/10 min/o, plus100/o.

For weeks, I felt nothing, numb. And that was no fun.

In numbers: minus80/weeks.

Suddenly, I felt so sick, I couldn’t focus, I had pains everywhere, I thought I was dying. I must have eaten something that didn’t agree with me. After I threw up, I felt much better.

In numbers: minus1000/20min, plus80.

Then I’m very sad and then I cheer up a bit but I always fall back to very sad. I know that I’m a very emotional person but I can’t dim it.

In numbers: minus173, plus250/3hours, minus190.

We met for hours and all had a really good time. We talked and talked and talked. And hardly anyone had any alcohol. In the end, we were with twelve, I think.

In numbers: plus100-170/12/3hours/o.

I just feel great, whenever I’m aware of my feelings. Sometimes, I’m a bit worried or stressed or annoyed for a couple of minutes but overall, that plays no role in my life. I know how to feel good.

In numbers: plus 250/months.

I’m not into feelings. I’m a precise person.

In numbers: plus4.75/now.

I liked my job. Now, I’m on pension already for a decade and I have no hobbies, nothing to do – I don’t like it. My wife and I have more chance to do something useful, which is nice, like yo shop together, or on a trip, but most of the time, I’m in her way at home.

In numbers plus70/45years, plus30/10years.

Would such a scale prove useful?

About the Author
The author is a fetal survivor of the pharmaceutical industry (DES - Diethylstilbestrol), born in 1953 to two Dutch Holocaust survivors who met in the largest concentration camp in the Netherlands, Westerbork, and holds a BA in medicine (University of Amsterdam). He taught Re-evaluation Co-counseling, became a social activist, became religious, made Aliyah, and raised three wonderful kids. He wrote an unpublished tome about Jewish Free Will. He's a vegan for 8 years now. * His most influential teachers (chronologically) are: his parents, Nico (natan) van Zuiden and Betty (beisye) Nieweg, Wim Kan, Mozart, Harvey Jackins, Marshal Rosenberg, Reb Shlomo Carlebach and lehavdiel bein chayim lechayim: Rabbi Dr. Natan Lopes Cardozo and Rav Zev Leff. * Previously, for decades, he was known to the Jerusalem Post readers as a frequent letter writer. For a couple of years he wrote hasbara for the Dutch public. His fields of attention now are varied: Psychology (including Sexuality and Abuse), Medicine (including physical immortality), Science, Politics (Israel, the US and the Netherlands, Activism - more than leftwing or rightwing, he hopes to highlight Truth), Oppression and Liberation (intersectionally, for young people, the elderly, non-Whites, women, workers, Jews, GLBTQAI, foreigners and anyone else who's dehumanized or exploited), Integrity, Philosophy, Jews (Judaism, Zionism, Holocaust and Jewish Liberation), Ecology and Veganism. Many people can't understand or like him because he has such a wide vision that he never fits any specialist's box. But that exactly what others love about him. Many of his posts relate to affairs from the news or the Torah Portion of the Week or are new insights that suddenly befell him. * He hopes that his words will inspire and inform, reassure the doubters but make the self-assured doubt more. He strives to bring a fresh perspective rather than bore you with the obvious. He doesn't expect his readers to agree. Rather, original minds must be disputed. In short, his main political positions are: anti-Trumpism, for Zionism, Intersectionality, non-violence, democracy, anti the fake peace process, for original-Orthodoxy, Science, Free Will, anti blaming-the-victim and for down-to-earth optimism. Read his blog how he attempts to bridge any discrepancies. He admits sometimes exaggerating to make a point, which could have him come across as nasty, while in actuality, he's quit a lovely person to interact with. He holds - how Dutch - that a strong opinion doesn't imply intolerance of other views. * His writing has been made possible by an allowance for second generation Holocaust survivors from the Netherlands. It has been his dream since he was 38 to try to make a difference by teaching through writing. He had three times 9-out-of-10 for Dutch at his high school finals but is spending his days communicating in English and Hebrew - how ironic. G-d must have a fine sense of humor. In case you wonder - yes, he is a bit dyslectic. November 13, 2018, he published his 500st blog post with the ToI. * He likes doing age-appropriate and age-inappropriate things and looks forward to getting to know his timeless mature out-of-the-box soul mate. * To send any personal reaction to him, scroll to the top of the blog post and click Contact Me.