For the Sake of Peace: The Power of Optics

I used to think that legal requirement according to Jewish law of ”mipnei darchei shalom”, doing things “for the sake of peace,” was a cop out. That it was performative. Disingenuous. Not authentic. It felt like the halakha was just trying to keep up appearances, without a real moral foundation.

But after years of change-making, advocacy, and organizing, I’ve come to see mipnei darchei shalom not as a concession, but as a strategic and deeply human value. A halakhic principle that may not always speak to our idealistic side, but can be incredibly effective in helping us make change in the real world. Actions required in accordance with mipnei darchei shalom may not always transpire because of the why or values, but it can be a powerful way to get those who care about halakha on board.

The Strategy of “Why That Works”

Let me give a real-world example. Years ago, the now-sunset initiative Advancing Women Professionals and the Jewish Community, specifically Shifra Bronznick, Founder and President of the AWP, and Rabbi Joanna Samuels, took on a bold challenge: to get at least 100 Jewish nonprofits to adopt paid parental leave beyond the bare-minimum legal standard in the United States. (See the Better Work Better Life campaign.)

From my observations of their work and advocacy, they initially attempted to appeal to Jewish values, including the importance of growing Jewish families, the mitzvah of raising children, and the notion that this is what a Jewish community should do.

It didn’t land. It didn’t move the decision makers. 

What did work? The numbers. The bottom line. Bronznick and Samuels showed, with clear data, that offering real maternity leave improves staff retention and satisfaction. That it doesn’t cost more in the long run, in fact, it actually saves money. That it isn’t just the right thing to do; it’s the smart thing to do.

They didn’t give up on values. They understood something crucial. You have to speak in a language the other side understands.

A Halakha for the Real World

I now see mipnei darchei shalom in the same light. Ideally, we should treat all people—Jews and non-Jews, regardless of ethnicity, beliefs, gender, or any other difference—with respect and dignity because they are b’tzelem Elokim, created in the image of God. We should act with kindness, fairness, and compassion simply because it is the right thing to do.

But sometimes, we aren’t dealing with the ideal. Sometimes, it is about keeping the peace. About preventing conflict. About remembering that we represent something bigger than ourselves.

In Gittin 61a, we are taught:

“We support the poor of the gentiles with the poor of Israel, and we visit the sick of the gentiles with the sick of Israel, and we bury the dead of the gentiles with the dead of Israel — for the sake of peace.”

“Mipnei darchei shalom.”

This isn’t about optics. It’s about recognizing that we live in relationship with the world around us and that our actions have an impact. What we do matters not only for ourselves and our own communities, but for how we live alongside others.

We are being watched. We are being watched by our neighbors, by our colleagues, by the wider world. That awareness can shape how we show up. It can cause us to pause, reflect, and ask: Is this the best way to act? Is this the message I want to send? Is this action going to build or destroy?

That pause can be a mitzvah.

‘Tis the Season of Teshuva

We are now in the season of Teshuva, the season of repentance. And let’s be honest. This whole season can also feel a little disingenuous and artificial. Shouldn’t we be apologizing, making amends, and doing better all year long? Why does it even count when we suddenly say sorry now?

But this is precisely where Jewish tradition meets human nature.

Of course, it would be better to fix things the moment they break. Of course, it would be better to take responsibility and grow the instant we recognize a flaw in ourselves or in our relationships. But we are human. We avoid. We procrastinate. We deflect.

By setting aside a dedicated time that calls for and even demands introspection, conversation, repair, and growth, Judaism provides us with a structure we desperately need. It makes us do the work.

Mipnei Darchei Shalom is the same. It sets a standard, a behavioral KPI, that reminds us to consider the impact of our actions. Not just in our communities, but in the broader world. Not just among people who think like us, but among people who don’t.

Being intentional and thoughtful is not the opposite of authenticity. It is a reflection of values in practice.

Raising Up Darchei Shalom

It is time to raise the halakhic requirement of mipnei darchei shalom, not just as a secondary reason in halakhic discourse, but as a guiding principle in how we live and lead. We need it across the spectrum in every corner of the Jewish world.

We do not always need to act from pure motivations. However, we do need to act with thoughtfulness and awareness of how our actions are perceived. Sometimes that means adjusting course. Sometimes it means rethinking our words or timing. And sometimes it means doing the right thing, even if only because we know others are watching.

That is not hypocrisy. That is growth. That is wisdom. That is leadership.

So yes. Be authentic. Be grounded in your values. But also, be intentional. Be kind. Be strategic. And remember the power of doing something simply for the sake of peace.